In the Moment...

12/3/2021

                                        Waiting?…

Watching a sad movie about waiting and not giving up made me think… Sometimes it seems that we spend a lifetime waiting---
--- We wait for school to get out and to grow up.
--- We wait for special dates to occur like birthdays, weddings, Christmas,
       vacations, infant births, and new goals, etc.
--- We also wait for our pain to end, and for love to show, for
         understanding, and answers to our prayers.
   Maybe one of the hardest waits is for someone to come home to our heart.

However, something has permeated society that has us in a constant state of waiting. It seems we no longer trust in the basic goodness of the individual human being---and with reason. We seldom see it in the media that shows our lives and everyday behavior. And it is often missing in business situations and can be an exception in our families.

We have become a nation of individuals who are desensitized to the darker side of being human. The banality of evil has taken over our sense of what is right and good, and in the process, we have lost perspective, personal values, and even ourselves. Of course, this leaves us waiting in fear and inadequacy in our search for safety, self-worth, and meaning.
In many ways, we have become so desensitized that we no longer even respond to the evil that is right before us. There is plenty of fuel to energize those who are unable to accept themselves and need to hate others instead.

I wonder how long we have to wait to find a balance in the ability to tolerate differences yet stand up against what is genuinely wrong.

Will we learn to trust and acknowledge the dignity of each human life or will we continue to allow excuses to cast stones of hatred? Just waiting can be very difficult…

   Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do.

--- copyright, Jeanne Adams

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11/19/21



Taking a Step Forward

It is only when we are peaceful that we can be truly kind.
      Dr. Gerald Jampolsky

   The above quote is one reason why I say so much about the importance of learning to be at peace. Our culture right now gives us so many reasons to live in fear and with anxiety. It can seem like we are always waiting for the shoe to drop, for the next conflict around us, or the next threat to our security. Some people even wonder if it is the beginning of the end of the world or, certainly, a fight between good and evil.

So, what are some of the characteristics of love and peace? I did some brain-storming on this and here are a few that came to mind:

Awareness of others dignity
respect                                                               helpfulness
appreciation                                                        kindness
gentleness                                                          availability
faithfulness                                                         patience
empathy inclusion of others
compassion                                                        consideration
encouragement understanding
compassion integrity
effective listening                                              sharing
  humility                                                             thoughtfulness
trust                                                                    consistency

I know you can add many more to the list. So much that is positive is out there. It is just hard to see at times.

Jeanne
PS: Reminder. Be at peace one day or hour, or minute at a time. And the only time is now.

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11/12/21
  So, Where are You Going from Here?

One or the main points I have been trying to make in talking about FEAR is that it can put a stranglehold on our lives and keep us from taking action to increase our happiness. Also, fear makes us vulnerable to being controlled and used by others.

Have you ever felt like you were taking one step forward and two steps backward? That's fear trying to keep you stagnant and with a false security. It's also part of being human. It seems that all of us have a decision to make about whether we want to live our lives in fear or out of love. Although this is a constant decision we must make repeatedly in our hectic, scary lives, we actually have much more control over life than we may realize.

So, what decision do you want to make on a continual basis? Are you willing to keep learning how to love or do you want to remain in constant fear, controlled by others? It is your choice to make---daily...

      copyright, Jeanne Adams

Be good to yourself,
Jeanne

   Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace,and gratitude.
    Denis Waitley

PS: Check out my latest gift book, JUST BE, and Peace will Follow. It can be ordered through Brighten Publishing. It is a great e-book for giving to a friend or family member, book club discussion, etc.

11/5/21
continued: (Part 3)

What are You Afraid of?

Ok, we have been talking about how fear can totally disrupt our lives and the lives of those around us and around the world, (eg. the pandemic is still raising havoc among all of us). And, whether we know it or not, this is a perfect time for evil to increase because we can become vulnerable to negative or dark influences. So, it is important to be aware of the messages we hear (eg. news, internet, etc.) from those who might be intent on using others with no real respect for them. Added to all of these problems are the daily threats that affect us, such as personal crises, negative diagnoses, deaths of loved ones, pain and fatigue from chronic illnesses, financial problems, etc.

The last time I suggested we look into what we can personally do about our own fears. So, following are some practical ways to reduce fear and anxiety in our personal lives. If you haven't tried some of them before, now is the time. Think of them as positive actions in a negative world.

First, consider this:
Only one thing has to change
for us to know happiness in our lives:
where we focus our attention.
Greg Anderson

Suggestions:

    ---I'll begin with the all important one. LIVE IN THE NOW, NOT IN THE PAST OR FUTURE.
Of, course, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan or have happy memories. It just means that the only time we actually have is now. But there is a difference between using common sense, and always feeling guilty because of the past or anxious and fearful because of the future. (And most of this occurs in our head through what we focus on).

---Designate a quiet place in your home for personal time and relaxation. We all need alone time to get away from the demands and chaos of life. And each day do something you enjoy.

---Take time every day to Meditate and do Mindfulness thinking. Don't just read about them in magazines or online. Actually do them. Both can definitely put things into perspective and increase a sense of peace. Start by just sitting in total silence for just five-ten minutes each day and think only about your blessings.

---Remove the clutter from at least one room in your house. Clutter will increase your anxiety much more than you realize.

---Live with integrity, honesty, and sincerity. This is one of the best ways to build trust. If you can't trust yourself, how can you trust anyone else?

---Do one thing at a time, but do it well.

---Learn to say a polite "No" to excessive demands. Stop over scheduling. You can not save the world, but as the saying goes, "bloom where you are planted" by simply being your best with the next experience.

---Reflect on what you are being called to actually do with your life. Are you coming closer to what is genuinely important to you?

---Turn off personal electronics, (eg. phone, laptop,) for awhile each day. For example, instead of grabbing your phone while waiting, try simply observing others, (of course without any judgment).

---Clear your mind of everything except gratitude before getting out of bed in the morning or before drifting off to sleep at night.

---Determine what you have control over and what you need to let go.

---Watch nature and slow yourself to its pace. This has been proven to dramatically reduce stress.

---Right now, try allowing yourself to simply be loved in the presence of God.

Anxiety, the illness of our time, comes
primarily from our inability to live in the present moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh

More next time...
Be good to yourself,
Jeanne

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CONTINUED: (Part 2)
What are You Afraid of?

Fear can leave us not knowing who to trust, making many people capable of being controlled by others and losing faith in the goodness that was a standard part of their lives. When we live by fear we give control to externals, (eg. other people, luck, lies, etc.) Going along with fear is ANXIETY..This, also, has become rampant in our society and in the world. Even a doctor I know recently commented on how many people are overly busy and running around, not knowing where they are going.

It seems that the difference between the traditional fears of the past, (eg. speaking in front of a group), and the anxiety of today is that we are all experiencing multiple threats to our daily lives. It definitely is a communal and even global anxiety that seems to be bringing out the worst in many of us. When we live out of fear and anxiety we can become self-absorbed, immature, angry, depressed, defensive/blaming, lose our self-esteem, compassion, and become hurtful to each other and to pets. As we allow fear to increase, elements of evil can take over, such as the need for power and control, greed, exclusiveness, being judgmental, demanding, and unforgiving, We have become a nation filled with fear and anxiety instead of love and happiness. And yes, we still are all in this together.

So what can be done about this?

We'll start that next time...

copyright Jeanne Adams

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10/23/21

Continued:
                           What are You Afraid of?

   We started talking about fear last time because it seems to have become so much a part of our lives in the last five years. In some ways, we all are changed persons, having lost our direction with many giving up their values, or at least giving up living them. We are confused about life in general and feel as if we are waiting around for the next threat to appear. True peace is hard to find then---also, true people.

I personally believe that we live our lives either out of fear or out of love. One of the problems is that it is easier to decide and behave out of fear than it is to learn and live life out of love. But when life is lived based on fear, it opens us up to being vulnerable to manipulation and control from others. This can result in many negative things that can affect our happiness, making it very difficult to be our true selves.

One example is what happens when people who need to control (eg, for personal or political reasons, etc.), much of their effort is in attempts to divide others in any possible way. Labels are used frequently to diminish someone’s worth in the eyes of others. I call it the “I’m ok because I have declared that you’re not” approach. Also, much of the controlling effort is designed to confuse, to diminish common sense in others, and to destabilize trust in previous reliances, institutions, beliefs, etc.

                                                                                                                                            © Jeanne Adams

More Next Time…still have company here

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We are able to be of service to those who suffer only to the extent that
we have been able to transform FEAR in our own lives.
Robert Sardello

   (The following is a lead up to another blog)

     What Are You Afraid Of?

   Suddenly the internet seems to be plastered with postings on all these scary things about our lives, like an upcoming economic collapse, a prediction of hoarding, disappearance of food and other essentials, inability to get what is needed when it is needed, importance of knowing survival skills, etc.

And you’re left questioning, once again, whether it has potential truth or if it is part of a plot to manipulate people into fear, making us vulnerable to being controlled. It seems that ever since lies have become mundane and accepted by some, we don’t feel safe with what we hear. After all, it is a great way to confuse people. Who or what can we trust? What happened to security and safety?

I have long been someone who likes simplicity and bottom line thinking, not in a business sense, but in a practical sense. I like to know what the basic truth is in regard to an issue. So, hopefully we will be able to recognize and maybe put into perspective, some of the insecurity and fear that have expanded in our society over the last several years…
©Jeanne Adams

(Hope to see you next week. Right now I have out of state company to attend to.)

10/8/21

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Just a short message this time and in this moment…

Shades of Gray

Rainy dampness and a steady drip from the awning greet me this foggy morning. It carries air that is bandaged in gauze and ground that has a soggy softness about it.

Grayness seems to cover the world like the first rinse cycle in a washing machine cycle. The atmosphere is heavy with lack of expectation as if nature has given itself a mild depressive disorder. And we human beings respond in kind by sleeping late and pausing in the demands we usually place on ourselves and each other.

Maybe, in a sense, this is what personal depression is---a self-imposed shutdown of life demands, the silent cry of someone drowning in the grayness of ambiguity, as they attempt to wash away guilt, anger, fear and pain.

© Jeanne Adams

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Got Game?

   I wonder if we all are living lives of quiet desperation. We go from one form of activity to another and repeat the same expectations without even thinking about it. I became aware of this at the end of the last Super Bowl. Football is over and, if you are a sports fan like me, you may gradually shift gears and focus on the best in basketball. I wonder if we keep looking for the best because it is so difficult to be our best.
    I question how many tee shirts, jackets, sweatshirts, etc. are purchased after a sports championship, and why people spend thousands to sit in a stadium with a poor view of the game when it can be seen much better on television.
   Are we all desperate to identify with someone perceived as better than us?
We may be shaking inside with a lack of self-esteem, but we are ok if our sweatshirt connects with the championship of the moment. If only we would spend half as much time on choosing what is important and who is genuinely worth honoring. I doubt that we will ever become the best person we can be as long as we need to identify with sport and entertainment stars.
    So, why is it so hard to be the best we can be and honor the God who made us?
Many people are too tired to force action and thoughts that would help us grow. Others may have fallen into a cult type of identification and feel good about belonging to something, even though it may be evil. Perhaps others associate with the pervasive commercialism that incessantly changes, forcing us to adjust the way we do things. Still, others may be lost--with values, priorities, and thinking disrupted, resulting in daily life confusion. Many are still searching for something of meaning since churches have disappointed them in recent years.
   But in spite of everything, we still have a God who quietly waits for us to become the best we can be--who patiently anticipates and hopes that we will continue on the journey of learning to love. I know that I would be happier if I could focus mainly on God’s love and be grateful each day for all that I have. I know that it is through silence, listening, mindfulness, and prayer that I will find God searching for me. It seems to me that identifying with God’s goodness is crucial to finding peace. Are you willing to practice? Are you willing to continue learning how to love? It is the only practice worth doing if we are to be at peace…

copyright, Jeanne Adams

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How to Handle Passion

  Ok, picture a hot day—the kind that weighs you down with heavy humidity and makes you want to either jump in water or stay in air-conditioning all day. It’s the heat that so many people couldn’t wait for last winter. It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s oppressive. Do you still like it?

Well, what kind of hot do you like: to be sweaty and overheated from a good workout, to have a superficial “quality” that is “hot” to others, the dry heat of an Arizona desert, or the heat of passion for a person, project, or belief? The heat of passion can be good if it is directed in a positive way. It can give energy, purpose, and direction. And of course, if directed negatively, it can be a terrible source of evil that can bring down the human race.

But how about building up the human race one incident at a time?
You can do it and only you in your unique way. The heat of passion can be used to:
---notice those around you who are in need
                   ---learn to be compassionate daily
                   ---insert peace into a developing argument
                   ---respect each individual, knowing that all lives matter
                   ---develop pervasive gratitude for all you have been given
                   ---grow in your singular creativity
                   ---promote and appreciate what is positive in life
                   ---spread integrity and kindness around with recklessness
                   ---pick someone up who has forgotten how to care

And if it gets too hot to handle, try just sitting alone quietly in the coolness of
God’s love.
                                                                                      © Jeanne Adams

WritingthatNurtures.com

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The Importance of Perspective

            A psychiatrist once said that there are basically two types of human beings:
those who see life as a privilege and those who see it as a problem. The first type could be described as enthusiastic, grateful, resistant to stress, responsive to challenge and to others. The other type is suspicious, uncertain, controlling, self-centered. To the first group of people life is hopeful and meaningful. To the second, it is a potential ambush.

            As individuals, we spend our entire lives attempting to create a significant, balanced life that has elements of peace and happiness. We want our lives to be worthwhile and to mean something to others. We want to be important in some way, especially to the people closest to us. We want to be the good, kind and compassionate person that God wants us to be. When we trust and respect ourselves and feel some sense of personal control, we are able to move with direction. We feel alive and open to new experiences. There is a sense of self-worth and our behavior and decisions express a strong value base that keeps a hopeful perspective on life. Our thoughts are generally positive and our self messages encouraging and prayerful. We accept who we are while continuing to grow and we are able to live what we believe. We are in a state of psychological and spiritual health.

But in order to do this, to see life as a privilege, we need to learn to become both psychologically and spiritually healthy. We need to discover and maintain an outlook on life that will keep things in perspective and will help us to live what we believe.
Somehow we have become people who are out of balance. We seem to be suffocating from our own abundance and consumption. We are over stimulated by the latest technological gadgets and surrounded by excessive “stuff” that we cannot organize or find room for; and while we long for simplicity, many of us fear aloneness and silence. It seems that we simply have lost our perspective on what is important.

The need for perspective shows itself most when our level of automatic living seems to match our anxiety level. Perspective is the ability to retreat temporarily from the demands and expectations of other people and ask ourselves if we are freely responding or just reacting as we always have. We may need to stand back and ask, “Is this the reason that I am alive?”
Perspective gives us that sense of personal control that we spend so much energy seeking. It also helps map out an awareness of life direction and value commitment. To decide what is really important and have the answers based on that can clarify much of the confusion and chaos that life seems to throw at us.

In my experience as a therapist/counselor, I have discovered that most of the day-to-day trials and tribulations that occur in life are really a matter of perspective. We may find ourselves temporarily thrown by something, or more likely someone, and react the way we always have reacted to that particular situation. And it may or may not have worked for us in the past. This reactive mode seems to occur because things have temporarily gotten out of perspective. Consequently, stress makes something seem more important or more urgent or more distressful than it needs to be. Sometimes these reactions become so habitual and ineffective that we find that we have created a seemingly overpowering life situation.

copyright--Jeanne Adams

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Insight is more than fluff

    What is it that begins to awaken us as we get older?
What causes us to seek something more meaningful than the accumulation of stuff?

Is the wisdom that supposedly comes with age an automatic oozing of common sense that tells us enough is enough?

          Sometimes it seems that all that energy we have wasted on things like what people will think, how powerful and successful we are, and how far we have come financially and socially, are such useless entities.

All the interpersonal slights, anger, frustrations, and failures suddenly seem pointless time wasters. And we are left wondering why we worried and stressed over them in the first place.

   In recent years, gratitude has come to the forefront of my mind and heart without any conscious triggering on my part. I seem to have become aware of how much has been given to me and how pervasive God’s giving is in my life.

Wouldn't it be great if this, along with the realization that the only time we have is now,
could hit us at 21?

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i

  Secrets for Developing
  a Positive Additude

            ---begin each day with gratitude for all you have been given
---post uplifting messages around your work space or home
---say no to time spent with things and people who bring you down

---be at peace with yourself and there will be no one left to fight
---don’t let another person’s obnoxious behavior determine a negative response

---smile when you answer the phone
            ---seek out time to be creative
            ---see problems as learning adventures

            ---notice and be grateful for the special talents of others
            ---gossip only about the good you see in another person
            ---don’t just count your blessings, really appreciate them
            ---spend time with positive people

---choose hope---in God, yourself, and others
--meet each challenge with confidence, knowing that you probably did it before and can do it again

---be kind to yourself

Take care of you,
Jeanne

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The following was posted a long time ago, but holds true for today:

What Your Mother Never Told You

Why was I so anxious as a child to become an adult? Now that I am older I am finding this whole adult thing to be very difficult at times. You see, no one ever told this one time cocky adolescent, looking to own, achieve, and acquire the many aspects of adult life that someday I might lose them. No one warned me about the terrible losses that start to accelerate as I get older. No one ever said, “Hey wait a minute. Are you sure you want this relationship, pet, car, house, status, job, etc.? Because someday you might lose them and it is going to hurt!”

Sure, there are lots of how to courses out there,. but I have yet to see a course entitled, “Adulthood: How to Make Difficult Decisions and Cope with Unplanned Change..We get a lot of information from our years in school, especially if we are lucky enough to attend college at different levels. We are usually still blindsided by many experiences as adults. And we are often left trying to figure out what to do in each situation. For example:

---How to handle real suffering in life. This can hit us in many ways, like a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a child, spouse, friend, or pet, pain from medical situations, break-up of a relationship, misunderstanding, experiencing personal violence, etc.

---How to raise children in a constantly changing society. One element that appears to be important is consistency on our part. It seems that no matter how much change society throws at us, it is still important for children to have boundaries and to feel safe. There will always be a need for consistent values to be presented and lived.

---How to keep perspective when life seems overwhelming. One of the best ways to get perspective is to step back for a short time and look again at important values. Consider what is most important and what will matter in the long run. (So much effort and energy are spent on much ado about nothing.)

---How to see beyond counterfeit rhetoric. As adults, we often face things that are scams or untruths. And sometimes it takes the experience of being exploited to realize what is true or not. Being used can occur in business, politics, individual manipulation in a relationship, etc. It can feel awful to realize that our loyalties and energy have been used only to provide gains for another person.

---How to be at peace with yourself. It is much easier to face the trials and tribulations of life when we are grounded and living our values. To be grounded is to feel confident in our ability to face negativity. To be at peace is to be grounded in our convictions, values, faith, beliefs, etc.

---How to be mindful. To be mindful is to live in the now without judgment. It is important to understand that the only time is now. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination or expectation. Mindfulness can bring awareness without stress when we know that now is the only time there is.

---How to know that love is a verb. We grow up being very much aware of romantic love and many people think that this is the only type of love---one that is based on feelings. But genuine love is experienced at a higher level. To authentically love is to recognize the dignity of each individual and take positive action for them. Love is something we do. We can spend a lifetime learning but is the ultimate skill.

Couldn’t I somehow be warned that being an adult means I may someday: have great neighbors that will move away; lose the job status that I worked so hard to achieve; suffer the loss of a family member or friend to cancer; have a child forget to call, be ignored or patronized because of my age; deal with all sorts of emergencies and know who to call and when…? I’m learning that these hard times can come close together, almost as if someone has set a spiral in motion. I wonder if there will be a time when everything falls into place and I can just relax for a while without having to respond to another mini-crisis. (And then I feel guilty because I know that so many other people are experiencing real tragedy and suffering.) Somehow it seemed to be so much easier when I was young enough to demonstrate youthful ignorance and have it be expected.

Maybe the answer is simply to look once again at life through the eyes of a child---the eyes that experience life one moment at a time, see problems as adventures, and losses as lessons in hope, knowing that God is as close as a prayer.

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal. Keep on learning and go in peace…

copyright, Jeanne Adams

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Ever Felt This Way?

It is only after having made it through almost 18 years of education and 30 years of professional experience, that I have suddenly realized my life education has been sadly lacking. You see,
no one ever told me about the extensive priority changes that seem to hit all of us after our 50th birthday. Although most of these realizations can help to simplify life, a few have thrown me off balance and left me with a fear of falling.

  For example, in my post 50 years I have discovered that:

--- Comfort surpasses style... Somewhere along the way, I suddenly lost track of what was popular in terms of fashion, music, the arts, etc. I have started buying my clothes based on what is comfortable. I’ll simply go out and buy a new version of the same comfort outfit. Oh, sometimes I go crazy and get a new color, but I really work at trying to control this urge. I have managed to greatly diminish my “good” or “dressy” clothes section to the point where I can almost eliminate clothing from my yearly budget. Casual is now my favorite and only style.

--- Patience is no longer a virtue but a necessity... I not only have to wait for my body to catch up with my messages to move, but my lightening speed computer mind is now in desperate need of defragmentation. Ask me the name of a long time acquaintance or what I had for dinner yesterday and the answer will arrive like clockwork in the middle of the night as I’m headed for the bathroom. I find myself waiting a lot these days. I wait to be picked up, I wait to be noticed in a restaurant or store, I wait for a visit from family or friends, I wait for someone to help me do the things I used to be able to do with ease... I even wait for a hug.

--- I have finally slowed down enough to notice things outside of myself... and to discover the importance of sunshine, smiles, and kind words. This is one of the good surprises! The seasons bring renewed discoveries to my life, just like when I was a child: butterflies, flowers, birds, insects, changing leaves, and the feel of snow when it touches my tongue. I find that I can even listen better, now that a response isn’t immediately expected of me. I can take time to understand what feelings are active behind the words of others. I now am beginning to notice their hopes and dreams and struggling successes. They say that aging is a slowing down process, and I am finding that it really is possible to stop and smell the roses.... and baby’s breath, lilacs, warm apple pie, and soap.

- Position or authority no longer intimidates me... Politicians, executives, physicians, professors, entertainers, attorneys, clergy, etc. no longer impress me unless I have reason to respect them as individuals. Their “status” by itself is not enough to bring me to my knees or even cause them to shake. At this point in my life I can almost laugh at the things I thought were so important in my youth and at the rantings of today’s powerful people. At this point I really can question authority.

--- Everything seems to be a repeat... stories, TV shows, jokes, dinners, etc. “Been there, done that” is a reoccurring theme. And it is becoming increasingly more difficult to muster the enthusiasm to get involved in a whole lot of activities. Given the choice of repetitive negativity, gross images, dehumanization of others, or dysfunctional relationships to view on television, I realize the extent to which the world has lost its creative imagination. So, I have become a passionate seeker of what is good.

--- The spirit is willing but the body is out to lunch... or maybe taking a nap. This is probably the biggest and most depressing area of surprise after 50. And yes, I should have expected it. But until I started to experience results of the degenerative process, I could convince myself that it was a myth. Everything about the body seems to be more difficult. I now have trouble sitting down and getting up again, walking for any length of time, walking up or down steps, in or out of cars. And when I walk I give a great impression of the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.

--- Children and pets have become a major source of entertainment...
I find myself gravitating towards them whenever I get a chance. Both children and pets can provide hours of humorous antics and simple silliness; both are totally honest and sincere in their communications; and both are capable of sharing spontaneity, joy, and unconditional love. Listening to children giggle, or watching puppies and kittens play can be some of the most natural and enjoyable times anywhere.

--- Doctors I ignored in my youth are now ignoring me just when I finally need them... I thought I was infallible when I was young, and aches and pains were simply a temporary distraction. Why would I need to see a doctor? But at some point after 50, aches and pains started to take up residence in my body and have begun to proliferate. I find that I now have made it half way through medical school by way of researching each new diagnosis on the internet. However, my doctors do not seem to be all that interested in my body’s decline. I am simply being given a combination of medical labels, additional prescriptions, and one to three month appointments. It has become a very boring routine where I feel that the chronic pain associated with my numerous medical conditions is tolerated rather than addressed. “Learning to live with it” has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

--- I don’t need as many things.... and it is typical of my luck to discover this right at the time when the commercial world suddenly wants to give me freebies like senior cards, free health fairs, senior discounts, free investment dinners, etc. Naturally, I don’t pass these up and will be sure to say, “Senior discount, please” at the drive-through.... just in case they can’t tell my age.

--- I am disappearing in the eyes of those around me... It seems that after 50 I am no longer seen by some as a viable person with something to offer the world. Instead of asking my advice, people tend to talk around me, patronize me, or call me “honey” in a way that isn’t endearing. It just means “you sweet old thing." So much for sharing my accumulated life wisdom with others. Too bad, because I still have a lot of real surprises.

copyright, Jeanne Adams

Be good to yourself,
Jeanne

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   Practical Wisdom

Being wise beyond my golden years, I have decided to make use of that wisdom and actively respond to reoccurring energy and economic problems with a creative and practical answer plan. I was going to invest in one of those smaller cars with great gas mileage, but discovered that I couldn’t pull myself out of one once I crammed myself into it. So, common sense and weak legs told me to come up with my own creation that will fit my limited but quality oriented lifestyle. Here’s my plan.

        First, I’m going to spend a minimal amount of money on a Harley to save gas…..or maybe just a scooter….or perhaps an electric powered old fashioned ice cream bike with the box freezer behind. But that’s just the beginning. I will take it and customize for comfort and convenience that any senior citizen would be proud of. There will be a basket, of course, and I guess it would be smart to get a magnified windshield just in case my eyes start to get blurrier, and storage --- one bag for groceries and one for prescription drugs and extra adult diapers. I’ll have a quick release strap for my cane and a flip up display case for my handicap placard.

I wonder if I should put out extra money for the cushioned upholstered extra wide seat with the adjustable arm rests. Another option would be a pill dispenser with a timer on the handlebars in case I get carried away by all the envious “oohs” and “ahhs” I’ll be attracting and forget to take my medication. What do you think, should I opt for the cashmere covered pedal straps or is that an unnecessary excess? You know, what I really could use and would be practical is one of those crash helmets with windshield wipers. But then, I don’t want to appear to be trying to keep up with the Joneses.

But one more thing is absolutely necessary---the optional sidecar attachment for the grandkids is essential because of those constant requests for free babysitting. I love my grandkids, but I’m not going to let them slow me down.

-copyright, Jeanne Adams

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Do you ever feel stuck?

I’m referring to the kind of “stuckness” that keeps you in place and not knowing where to move next. There may be dozens of things that supposedly need to be done for one reason or another. You may even have a full To Do list that is just begging for cross offs. And you mind keeps urging you to stop the procrastination because that goes nowhere.
So, what’s wrong? Fatigue? Depression? Laziness? Maybe even low blood sugar. Certainly nothing that a little treat and a nap wouldn’t cure.
Sure, it could be any one of these things and more…

We live in a chaotic and generally negative world, a world that has done its best to make it hard to see what is good and safe and beautiful. We live in a world that bombards us with constant reminders of all that is fearful, untrustworthy, and truly evil. Added to this, are the constant daily challenges of physical problems, recurrent financial insecurity, and faltering relationships, among other things. No wonder there is rampant negative stress that, at times, seems to blind us to all that is positive in our lives.

Sometimes there seems to be a sense of suspension in life---kind of a stepping back and questioning of all that is in it. Thomas Merton once said that “Courage comes and goes….hold on for the next supply.”

I wonder if courage is nothing more than the ability to trust, to have faith...to keep on learning how to love.

Be good to yourself,
Jeanne

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Walking each other home...

I once knew someone who often said, "we are all just walking each other home." (author unknown) A comforting thought until I am reminded of the many ways in which we trip each other up because of our uncaring, stupidity, and self absorption. It's almost as if we dread getting involved with others on an individual basis, kind of like the automatic silence that occurs in an elevator. It doesn't only need six feet to provide distance.

It seems that we have lost the easy going socialization that existed in days when there was trust and concern about our neighbors and "friends." As a child I often took homemade baked goods to neighbors who weren't feeling well or might be lonely, or may need a treat. I was taught to be aware of others, no matter who, and to treat them with dignity and respect. I learned to always be truthful, grateful, and helpful. It was the real good old days.

Last years pandemic lock-down was a good time to show some of those characteristics of old, but perhaps out of fear about what was happening, I did not follow through on the positive interactions I could have done. Today I tried to check on a family I had been thinking about but with no success. It was as if they had disappeared.

Well, here's my concern: If it is so easy to lose awareness of those we know, when are we going to care about those we don't know? When are we going to stop the judgment, prejudice, etc., and live with personal integrity and peace?

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Security…

Some of our safest moments come with predictability. We feel safe when we know what is expected of us and when we are with people who we can trust will behave consistently according to their value system. We want to be with those who will do what they say or promise and will live what they believe is important. We feel safe when we are treated with respect, kindness, and compassion. And at times, we almost desperately seek out those rare individuals who can show us these elements of love. Perhaps we even have dreams of being this kind of person to others.

But what is so hard about finding or becoming the good, loving and trustworthy person who can offer that consistency, trust, safety and integrity? What happens that causes us to lose focus on what is good and important in life? What is it that turns us into apparent hypocrites who say one thing and do another and who frequently and unpredictably go from caring spouse/parent/friend, etc. to self-absorbed and selfish child demanding attention? What keeps us from genuinely acquiring the integrity that allows us to grow in love? And if there is no fear in love, why are we all afraid?

In recent years we have become a nation steeped in fear. It seems that we fear not only the potentially disastrous real life situations such as a terrorist attack or a murder in our homes, but we also have become permeated with mundane fears. And they are destroying the quality of our lives…

We fear speaking in public, new situations, new relationships, new demands and expectations, new arrangements, and meeting new people. We fear opening the front door, attending a new group for the first time, asking directions of strangers, and what others think of us. We fear people who are not like us, may not think like us, may hold different values, have a different nationality or race, use a different language or way of speaking. We fear those who see God differently, eat differently, dress differently, and speak differently. And we even seem to fear seeking understanding that might eliminate the ignorance that leads to our fears.

We basically fear change in a world of constant change.

Although we continually attempt to communicate with each other through the fastest and most convenient technology available, our communication seems to be nothing but prattle...a way of talking at each other in order to maintain distance. In our global world, walls are constantly being built up, separating people and increasing discrimination and racism in the process. People do not reach out to one another, and without exposure to diversity, there is decreased opportunity for understanding.

And we have become a nation of people uncomfortable not only with each other, but uncomfortable within ourselves. In a world of relentless change and multitasking, we have lost that sense of inner peace that gives us an anchor against over stimulation and chaos. We have lost the trust and especially the love that really is the opposite of fear. But then, perhaps we have never really found love in the true sense of the word.

Love, and its’ counterpart, intimacy, go far beyond the average person’s view of the words. Genuine love includes things like compassion, kindness, awareness of others needs, gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance, gratefulness, taking action for the good of yourself and others, etc. Intimacy is really a sense of trust, faith, openness, and honesty that leads to closeness with another. Together they can bring hope and personal peace.

What if we could eliminate the tremendous fear coming from the complications of contemporary life? What if we could do this by simply making better choices in our daily lives? And what would happen if, on a moment-to-moment basis, we actually chose genuine love over fear? It seems that the simplicity of God's message and the promise of God’s eternal love can give us the security to put it all into perspective.

“Of whom should I be afraid?”
copyright
Jeanne Adams

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7/2/21

NOW is the ONLY time...

One of the best ways to experience personal peace, in my opinion, is to live in the now. It seems that no one can be happy living either most of the time in the past or future in their head. But surprisingly, that's what many of us do without realizing it.

It can be miserable to live in the past, feeling angry or depressed or living mostly in the future either waiting for that lottery ticket of happiness or anxious and worried about what might happen.

Life and happiness can only genuinely be experienced in the present.

Allow yourself to live in he present by focusing your attention on what is taking place around you. Open up your senses to what is beautiful in your present environment. Actually hear the birds singing or notice the different shades of green in the trees. Slow down enough to taste your food or feel the breeze against your skin. Let your body relax and imagine that stress is falling off you just like water cascading over rocks below. Look for changing expressions in the faces of those around you.

In other words, increase your awareness of the present moment.
I think you will find yourself feeling happier and more peaceful.

Be good to yourself.
Jeanne

PS: Some of the thoughts are from my book Happiness (Hidden in plain Sight), from Westbow Press, a division of Thomas Nelson

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...
Finding yourself...

Personal peace within us is one of the hardest and
most important things to obtain in life. With it, (and with
God's help), we can handle anything that comes our way no matter how hard. But how to get there seems too far or impossible with all of our responsibilities, complicated relationships, circumstances, etc.

We get caught up with unimportant distractions yet are painfully unaware of what is the reality of the moment. We tend to glide through life, many times not seeing the positive and beautiful elements of our lives. I'm sure you have heard about mindfulness, but how do you do that? What does it take to be one of those rare individuals who seem to be comfortable, genuine, and at peace within their own skin?

Following are a few proven ideas that will get you started on the path to internal peace within yourself:

***First, there are several things that are missing in life for most people. One is awareness. Many of us walk around with an almost total lack of awareness of what is happening beyond our own personal world, especially where other individuals are concerned. I think most of the lack of kindness and compassion in everyday life comes from a lack of awareness.

***Seek time for silence. It will not only give balance to life, it will give a chance to step back and determine what is personally important. Mindfulness is not just for the spiritual, it can make life so much better for all of us. It allows us to seek and find our true self, the good, authentic self that exists deep within us.

***Always remember to "live in the now." Right now is the only real time in life. Simply be aware of what you are experiencing right now. Take time to enjoy food, be aware of nature, colors and clouds, good feelings, another person who may simply need you to listen, etc. Habitually living in the future can create chronic anxiety and living in the past can lead to depression.

***So, as a suggestion to get you started, give yourself 5-30 minutes a day to stop the usual things you do by route and think about life through your senses; eg. what do you smell, taste, see, hear, etc. In other words, just be and peace will follow. Maybe you will find even more reasons to be grateful...

Jeanne

PS: My latest book, Just Be (and peace will follow) is available as an ebook from Brighton Publishing.

writingthatnurtures.com

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   Peace Begins in Silence

            Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to settle yourself on a daily basis? Have you questioned what would it be like to have a sense of contentment and the ability to be aware of what is happening at a given time without stress and worry? Do you know what it feels like to be at peace and have all things in perspective? This must be possible or there wouldn’t be mystics and monks and those very rare individuals you meet who simply seem to be at peace and comfortable with themselves.

Do you really want to spend your days in a state of chaotic distraction that gives the illusion that you are doing something important and absolutely necessary? I doubt it, and the following might be the problem causing the discontent.

It seems as if a sense of self-worth and success today is linked to the ability to manipulate something, anything. As long as your hands and mouth are constantly busy talking, tweeting, calling, asking, getting, doing, posting, up and down loading, watching, and collecting the right current information and stuff, you may think you are living to the fullest.

Oh yes, you can compartmentalize parts of your daily life, but doesn’t that only break up the way in which you are distracted? There is grocery shopping with a temporary focus on a thousand+ different items; then there are the kids’ sports games and other interests, and the seasonal frantic doings from one holiday to the next. You visit or respond to the needs of the family, get involved in a multitude of groups and organizations, and may even attend church services on a regular basis. This is the normal we missed during the pandemic.

But in all of these experiences, if you stop to look at your actions, much is done by rote and in an automatic way. Consequently, it is completed without full awareness of the experience.So, what would it take to not only feel as if you had things under control, but that all your activities were genuinely worth doing?

It seems to me that with distraction becoming a way of life again and daily living spinning out of control, there are two main solutions to the problem. I hope I can give you some insight and practical suggestions in upcoming blogs... Stay tuned...

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So, Where Have You Been All My Life?

It’s okay. Really! It might be one of the healthiest things you can do. And you won’t disappear or be forgotten if you do it. Friends and family will still be there for you. They can be called at any time. And when you do make contact with them you will likely be a more stimulating, interesting person to be around. So, go ahead…spend some quality time by yourself. It’s simply one of those things you need to do at this stage in your life even though you might secretly be afraid. Here’s why and how:
It seems that many of you spend years complaining about not having any time to yourselves, not having a quality rest, and not being able to get away from the constant demands of motherhood, domestic engineering, career responsibilities, etc. So, what happens when you finally have a chance to slow down? Do you spend time languishing in the quiet, peaceful, no demand space? Do you listen to your heartbeat and hear your soft breathing as you settle into your slower pace? Do you take that time for yourself that you have been longing for since before the kids came or the career took center stage?

Why are they (and you) having so much trouble just relaxing? Don’t be afraid. You are a wonderful person to get to know.

Need some ideas on what to do with yourself ? Try these:

Write…your memoirs, or that dreamed of book, a list of the happiest things in your life, words to a song that has been coming in and out of your head, etc.
Read…a mystery novel, a cartoon or humor book, a spiritual book, or a puzzle book for mental stimulation.
Sit in front of a fireplace or campfire; open up your senses to the sound of nature.
Watch the birds…in late spring there is a special treat in observing baby birds and their mothers interacting. Relish the fact that you are not responsible for their upbringing!
Go back to a hobby that gave you pleasure earlier in life, and get completely absorbed in relearning it. Become an expert at it.
Learn a new hobby or craft. Get a video or how-to book from the library
Go out to lunch alone at a gourmet restaurant and actually taste the food.Treat yourself to a special dessert.
Take a ride in the country and stop at a vegetable/fruit stand or farmers market in summer.
Sit back in your favorite chair and listen to beautiful music. It’s even all right to fall asleep.
Plan the perfect day on paper. Ask yourself what elements would make it so special.
Plant something. Even a miniature flower or vegetable container garden can be a wonderful experience. Check the Internet for gardening how-to ideas.
Tell yourself there is absolutely nothing that you have to do today or for at least the next hour. Simply live without any demands placed on yourself.

Get up early in the morning and relax with your preferred cup of coffee or tea outside. Watch and listen to nature waking up.

Take a hike…no, not a real hike, or even a power walk. Instead, try an awareness walk. Become aware of as much as possible during your stroll; notice anything new in the neighborhood; identify sounds and their

sources; notice the wide variety of colors and especially the various hues of a single color such as green.
· Stop by an empty place of worship and quietly count your blessings in peace.

I hope now that you have taken the time to know yourself a little better, you realize what a wonderful, unique, and interesting person you are. Maybe you’ll want to relax with this person regularly. Think of how much more you will have to share with the other special people in your life.

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. Nobody Like You...

You might remember the following. It is one of the best reasons for good self-esteem
I have ever seen. We seem to need something upbeat and positive. Think about it...

In all the world there is no one like you!
Since the beginning of time there
has never been another person like you.
Nobody has your smile. Nobody has your eyes,
your nose, your hair, your hands, your voice.
You are incredibly unique.

No one can be found who has your handwriting
or your tastes in food, art, or music.
No one sees things just as you do.

In all the world there has been no one
who laughs like you, no one who cries like you.
and what makes you laugh and cry
will never provoke identical laughter and tears
from anybody else, ever.

You are the only one in all of creation who has
your set of abilities.
Oh, there will always be someone who is better
at one of the things you are good at,
but no one in the universe can reach the quality
of your combination of talents,
ideas, abilities, and feelings.

Like a room full of musical instruments,
some may excel alone, but none can match
the symphony sound
when all are played together.
You are a symphony!

Through all of eternity no one
will ever look, walk, talk, think, or do like you.
You are unique and rare.
And, as in all rarity, there is great value.
Because of your great value, you do not need to attempt to imitate others
You can accept, yet celebrate differences.

It's no accident that you are so special.
God must have a job for you that no one else
can do as well as you can.
Of all the billions of applicants, only one
is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes.
That one is you.
You are irreplaceable---handle with care.

-author unknown

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Just a Lift Up

Following is just a little light-hearted story about a recent experience of mine.

Something happened the other day that brought me down. It wasn’t expected or wanted. And of course, it happened at one of the worst times. I guess it’s something I should have been ready for, given the many effects of age and long term body disintegration. After all, I truthfully am no longer thirty-nine…
Well, I fell while trying to pick up the cat’s dish on the way to my breakfast. I spent the next three and a half hours on the laundry room floor dressed in my sparse nightclothes, with slippers that got loose and ran away. It was a new crisis for me because nobody would hear if I called out. So, what could I do? After all, very few options exist in a small laundry room, crammed in with a washer, a dryer, a sink, and a three-level cat playground. I looked for something to entertain myself, but the Tide canister was up too high to read the label.
So I decided to be serious and use my three brain cells to figure out how to get to a standing position. However, having fallen, certain complications can occur that hinder the desire to be up-right. I twisted and turned dozens of times, only to feel my strength seeping out of me with each effort. Several attempts included falling back and hitting my head on the wall. (There went two brain cells.)

So, I’m warning you. Please do everything in your power to stay standing because the horizontal position is not fun when you don’t choose it.

Jeanne
PS: Someone did come to check on me, and the firemen were very friendly…

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Adulthood--What your mother never taught you...

Why was I so anxious as a child to become an adult? Now that I am older I am finding this whole adult thing to be very difficult at times. You see, no one ever told this one time cocky adolescent, looking to own, achieve, and acquire the many aspects of adult life that someday I might lose them. No one warned me about the terrible losses that start to accelerate as I get older. No one ever said, “Hey wait a minute. Are you sure you want this relationship, pet, car, house, status, job, etc.? Because someday you might lose them and it is going to hurt!”
I have yet to see a course entitled, “Adulthood: How to Make Difficult Decisions and Cope with Unplanned Change.”We get a lot of information from our years in school, especially if we are lucky enough to attend college at different levels. We are usually still blindsided by many experiences as adults. And we are often left trying to figure out what to do in each situation. For example:

---How to handle real suffering in life. This can hit us in many ways, like a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a child, spouse, friend or pet, pain from medical situations, break-up of a relationship, chronic illness, misunderstanding, experiencing personal violence, etc.

---How to raise children in a constantly changing society. One element that appears to be important is consistency on our part. It seems that no matter how much change society throws at us, it is still important for children to have boundaries and to feel safe. There will always be a need for consistent values to be presented and lived.

---How to keep perspective when life seems overwhelming. One of the best ways to get perspective is to step back for a short time and look again at important values. Consider what is most important and what will matter in the long run. So much effort and energy are spent on much ado about nothing.

---How to see beyond counterfeit rhetoric. As adults, we often face things that are scams or untruths. And sometimes it takes the experience of being exploited to realize what is true or not. Being used can occur in business, politics, individual manipulation in a relationship, etc. It can feel awful to realize that our loyalties and energy have been used only to provide personal gains for another individual.

---How to be at peace with yourself. It is much easier to face the trials and tribulations of life when we are grounded and living our values. To be grounded is to feel confident in our ability to face negativity. To be at peace is to be grounded in our convictions, values, faith, beliefs, etc.

---How to be mindful. To be mindful is to live in the now without judgment. It is important to understand that the only time is now. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination or expectation. Mindfulness can bring awareness without stress when we know that now is the only time there is.

---How to know that love is a verb. We grow up being very much aware of romantic love and many people think that this is the only type of love---one that is based on feelings. But genuine love is experienced at a higher level. To authentically love is to recognize the dignity of each individual and take positive action for them. Love is something we can spend a lifetime learning but is the ultimate skill.

Couldn’t I somehow be warned that being an adult means I may someday: have great neighbors that will move away; lose the job status that I worked so hard to achieve; suffer the loss of a family member or friend to cancer; have a child forget to call, be ignored or patronized because of my age; deal with all sorts of emergencies and know who to call and when…?

I’m learning that these hard times can come close together, almost as if someone has set a spiral in motion. I wonder if there will be a time when everything falls into place and I can just relax for a while without having to respond to another mini-crisis. (And then I feel guilty because I know that many other people are experiencing real tragedy and suffering.) Somehow it seemed to be so much easier when I was young enough to demonstrate youthful ignorance.

Maybe the answer is simply to look once again at life through the eyes of a child---the eyes that experience life one moment at a time, see problems as adventures, and losses as lessons in hope, knowing that God is as close as a prayer.

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal.
Keep on learning and go in peace…

Jeanne
Teach only Love. The only time is now.
Dr. Jarold Jampolsky

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20 Ways to Take a 10 Minute Vacation

So many of us wait a year for our annual vacation, when we can slow the merry-go-round down to a semi hectic pace. We spend weeks counting the days until a sense of personal freedom is available. And many times the anticipation is the best part of the vacation. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It is possible to remove yourself from the usual daily chaos and frantic frequency. Try some of the following ideas for taking a ten minute vacation daily:

1. Lay down and tell yourself that there is absolutely nothing that you have to accomplish during the next ten minutes. This is what I call no demand time.
2. Sit in the backyard or a park and simply listen to all nature sounds. Eg.,. birds, water, the rustle of trees, squirrels playing, etc.
3. Turn off the TV and while looking at the blank screen, imagine the most peaceful scene you can remember.
4. Take a slow warm shower or bubble bath. Pretend that you are at a luxury hotel. Smell the soap and feel the clean.
5. Give yourself a miniature tea break with a plate of assorted homemade items on a china plate. Taste each item slowly and sensually. Sip the hot tea.
6. Take a leisurely walk in a park or woods. This time in nature has been proven to be an effective way to relax.
7. Put your feet up on your desk or sofa with hands behind your head, and close your eyes. Imagine you are walking barefoot along a warm sandy beach.
8. Have a play romp with your dog.
9. Meditate or simply pray.
10. Listen quietly to classical music that is designed for relaxation.
11. Spend a few minutes stroking a kitten or cat. Proven to reduce blood pressure.
12. Play one of the kids computer games. Go ahead, zap em!
13. Get absorbed in a short story in a magazine.
14. Expect nothing from anyone, including yourself, for the next 10 minutes.
15. Take a “coffee break” by yourself in a quiet place.
16. Turn on some upbeat music and do creative dance steps. Express yourself!
17. Spend just ten minutes on your favorite hobby or craft project. Try to get totally involved.
18. Turn on slow, easy music and imitate a cat stretching in the sun.
19. Plant. It can be an indoor plant or a garden.Dig; landscape or create a flower arrangement.
20. Read something motivational and/or inspirational. Better yet, write about something that has inspired or motivated you in the past.

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On the Way

Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to consistently live your faith in today’s world? A big part of it may be what seems like overwhelming evil and the fear that surrounds us daily. Sometimes it hits with pervasive anxiety. We worry that we might succumb to the negativity and apathy. And we are left feeling helpless to correct the fractured cultural demise. The distractions of our present conditions seem to always get in the way of genuine active faith.

It seems that Jesus spent most of his life going from one place to another, dealing with various unrest-full and health situations in a relaxed and focused manner. He lived life as a teacher of peace and shared lessons on the way. I feel that His most basic teaching was said by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:

Teach only love. The only time is now.
What God is still asking of us now: to live in the moment with genuine love and peace. But to live in the moment can be extremely difficult. We allow ourselves to get caught up in either an issue from the past or an imagined fear of the future. But time spent on trying to control the uncontrollable leaves little room for life in real-time--now.

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What control do you have?

The situations we have all experienced over the last few months and years have created increased anxiety and fear in most of us. And we wonder what we can do. It occurred to me that maybe a few thoughts and simple questions might help. Are you willing to try?

Question One: Over what do I have control in this situation?
We can spend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things we have no control over. It can have a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life positively. Ask yourself, am I responsible for anything in any of the situations? If yes, do your best to solve, help, vote, etc.

Question Two: Do I see it as a problem or a challenge?
The way we perceive things determines our reality. Seeing something as a challenge implies that there is the ability to take action—based on choice.

Question Three: How can I better handle fear?
When fear is out of perspective, it can overwhelm us, resulting in constricted living. But living life with common sense and love, it is easier to conquer fear one step at a time. It is surprising how much the Serenity Prayer can help to put things into perspective.

              God, grant me the serenity
                         to accept the things I cannot change,
                                the courage to change the things I can
                                       and the wisdom to know the difference.

Just some thoughts…
Jeanne
PS: Plan your VOTE.

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How to be a Magnet...

As human beings, we spend most of our lives moving through changing situations with varying energy levels, goals, and motivations. When we feel good about ourselves and in control of our world, we can move with direction and purpose. We are alive and open to new experiences. There is an awareness of genuine self-worth, and our decisions and actions are easy. Our thoughts and senses are positive, and our self-talk encouraging. We know who we are and live what we believe. We are in balance.

There is an old Chinese saying that states, “Only happy people can make a happy world.” There is much truth to this.

Have you ever noticed that the people you feel safest with and with whom you want to spend more time, are those who appear to be happiest and contented with themselves? They don’t feel the need to compare or put down others, they’re seldom cynical, and they tend to concentrate on the good things in life. They are in control of, and responsible for their happiness. They have integrity, warmth, compassion, and gentleness. You are impressed with their quiet strength and perspective on life. The hectic pace and tension of the day are diminished a little while in their presence.

These people are rare yet memorable. We are drawn to them because when we are with them, we feel better about ourselves. Ask yourself, are you that quiet magnet that attracts people to the good things in life? Are you that unique person who can help others feel better about themselves? No matter how many cookbook techniques you learn and use, or how many degrees behind your name, it is your sincere, open, genuine caring that can have the most impact on others.

--these thoughts are adapted from my first book;
Getting People Involved in Life and Activities.
Be at peace,
Jeanne

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Im-possible

There is a message that we human beings need to hear more than any other.

God has said to us, “I love you. Please respond.” And then Jesus showed us how. But instead of following his example of love, we continually spend time complicating that request, twisting it around, rationalizing our non-response, defining our positions, ignoring his directions. And we spend countless hours debating the wrong thing..

If small children ever fell into this pattern, they would never get around to playing. But they don’t. They simply play...and define the rules as they go along, only when needed. Most of their time is spent being and doing in a state of simplicity and spontaneity. (Maybe this is what Christ means when he says that we need to become as little children). God doesn’t ask us to discuss rules and regulations of Christianity and to issue rubrics and proclamations of judgment. He hasn’t told us to divide up into multiple groups of people who spend immeasurable hours and years on trivial things like how we are to conduct our meetings or church services, etc. He simply asks us to love others…

But in all of our relationships, we spin our wheels and take little or no consistent action in response to God’s love, being busy texting, tweeting, or lost in instagram and Facebook.

It seems that "consistent action" means consistent kindness, even a small amount of time spent with God each day, meaningful teaching about genuine love, and meeting life with gratitude. I have found that anyone of these are difficult on a regular basis, but like you, I keep trying.

Who do I think I am? Just another person trying to live life in the now--the only time that we have for answering God...

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HOPE is...

    Possibly one of the best ways to bring hope to the world is to be that hope for others. A person who is hurting can’t always ask for what is wanted despite desperately needing help. Frequently, when asked about how things are going, they will say, “Fine” or will express very little, feeling that most people are not interested or won’t be able to do what it might take to fix the situation. And often, there is no fix—there is just the pain.

Sometimes the quiet observation of “You look tired today” or “Something seems to be bothering you,” followed by an offer to help can create a healing connection capable of bringing hope and peace to another. Just the realization that someone has noticed you are facing a challenge can ease the burden.

There will always be times when we are not quite sure how to respond to a delicate situation without clear boundaries. And it is hard to know how far to step into someone else’s life without overwhelming or appearing nosy. But there is a way that can create a bridge. Next time, when you are wondering what to say in what might seem to be an awkward situation, you might try gently asking, “How can I help?” When asked with sincerity and sensitivity, the question can bring peace and comfort to a hurting human spirit.

   -taken from my ebook, Significant Caring, Brighton Publishing

May peace be with you.
Care always...

Jeanne

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  Try to Top This...


   Once when I had foot surgery and had to stay with my foot held up for four months, depression started to slowly seep into my body. Knowing that I am usually a positive person, I decided I had to do something radical to stop the progress. The idea I chose was to write as many things that I was grateful for or were awesome.. The list not only relieved my depression but ended up to be over one thousand items, all of them positive.
Many of these beautiful and positive things are now in one of my books, Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight. This book has numerous ideas and ways to increase happiness in your life merely through awareness, gratitude, and living in the now. It contains many partial lists of memorable elements and experiences as in the following partial list of sensory potpourri:
     ---thick milkshakes
     ---being able to taste again after a cold
     ---soft baby skin
     ---comfortable slippers
     ---angel food cake
     ---songs that touch the heart
     ---the aroma of a neighbor’s barbecue
     ---sinking your feet in a warm, wet, sandy beach
     ---snow sparkling in the sun
     ---a smooth golf swing
     ---a genuine hug
     ---discovering a rainbow
               etc., etc.
It seems that if we genuinely spend the time being grateful, we will find countless more entities than we ever dreamed possible. So, if you want to be happier, start dreaming…(I would love to see what you come up with)

Peace,
Jeanne

PS: My book, Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight, is available (for 10.00 + 3.00 shipping) by writing to me at:
Jeanne Adams
100 Venloe Drive
Youngstown, Ohio 44514

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Discover the Good...

Before the virus, most people were having a busy schedule doing something else, so they missed much of the hidden beauty in life. Now we don't seem to know what is beautiful, relaxing, and stress free.

So, here are some mostly free ideas..
Take your time to enjoy the attractiveness of a freshly manicured lawn. Take a drive in the country. Walk up a hill, visit a park or a city overlook. Just find and experience a sense of openness and space. Look for places around you that feel free.

Appreciate the work that you might do at home. For example, there is beauty in clean windows, polished furniture, and folded clothes straight from the dryer. Cutting the grass, woodwork,straightening the garage or shed, and cleaning up around the outside are also positive undertakings.

Surround yourself with softness. Put on something loose and silky or soft and warm. Fluff up your pillow and lay down slowly; feel your head sink into the fabric. Spend time with a sleeping infant, a kitten or puppy, or an older person who has fallen asleep in a chair. Discover the beauty in physical characteristics:
the softness of the skin and delicacy of the fingers of an infant, the tiny whiskers and eyebrows on a kitten or puppy, the struggles of life etched in the face of an older person.

Lastly, enjoy the beauty of gentleness, Slow down your speech and actions and try to be purposely kind to someone, especially a child. Don't worry about being appreciated. the value is in the kindness...

Be good to yourself... ideas taken from my book,
Happiness: hidden in plain sight
Jeanne

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    Got Youth?



A long time ago I came across a list of how to stay young, by Sigmond Miller, from his book,
Life Span Plus. I am sharing an adapted version for your reflection::

  1. Learn a new language
2. Learn to play music
3. Make a new friend
4. Improve at something
5. Memorize a poem and share it
6. Buy some new clothes that show the real you
7. Entertain a lustful thought
8. Fight for what you believe in (be an example of what you believe in)
9. Take a course in anything you've always wanted to learn
10. Wear running shoes
11. Move smoothly, like an athlete or a dancer
12. Watch a sunrise
13. Take a long hike in the country
14. Get a massage
15. Have a laugh at least once a day
16. Make someone else laugh
17. Change your routine
18. Stretch and stay loose
19. Walk with a spring in your step
20. Have more fun
21. Turn on music and dance--or at least feel the music
22. Write poetry
23. Do the unexpected
24. Breathe deeply (repeat frequently)
25. Continue to discover with a sense of wonder

Be at peace,
Jeanne

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Discovery

The view from my window behind my laptop is fascinating. When I look out, I see a cluster of bush leaves that have grown to reach the branches of the old tree behind it. I almost feel as if I’m living in a treehouse, something I’ve wanted since childhood.

Of course, I have lots of neighbors in the treehouse. There are chipmunks, squirrels, a variety of birds, and neighborhood cats, etc. And there are lots of movements from the floating bush. When the wind is strong, they almost try to come through the window. And when the breeze is soft, the branches do a slow dance.

I am surprised to see the magnitude of the foliage because, during winter, the branches of the bush looked so dead, I thought we would have to hire someone to take it down.

So many times, when we think we have lost something, God finds something better for us. And we realize that it was just a matter of time before we see the good again.

I finally have been given the treehouse that I wanted as a child--perhaps because now I can appreciate it.

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Freedom

I suppose many of us are not feeling the freedom that goes with this holiday. We have been confined by the time spent inside when it is beautiful outside.Some of us feel trapped by our masks and distance from one another. And we may feel that circumstances have left us with lives out of control and wondering what will happen next..

The above picture, in a sense, is one of genuine freedom. Perhaps it is part of a bucket list that the two people take seriously. Maybe they are nearing the end of a beautiful friendship and want one more of the good-times.Maybe,with great effort, they have finally made it to the beach. They seem to be seriously enjoying, despite any consequences.

Don't you wonder what each one is thinking?

Freedom is something that is felt within and is related to trust. So,who do you trust? Is it your own judgement and self-esteem that can handle whatever happens? Is it someone close to you? Is it God? The greater your trust,the greater your sense of freedom.Think about it...

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Procrastination

Do you ever feel stuck?
I’m referring to the kind of “stuckiness” that keeps you in place, not knowing where to move next. There may be dozens of things that supposedly need to be done for one reason or another. You may even have a full To-Do list that is just begging for cross offs. And your mind keeps urging you to stop procrastinating.

So, what's wrong? Fatigue? Depression? Laziness? Maybe even low blood sugar. Of course, nothing that a little treat and a nap wouldn't cure. Sure, it could be any one of these things and more. As a person who is a master at procrastination, I am well versed in the ways of one who is stuck. Sometimes I’ll take a break from some task and just sit down to watch a half-hour TV show before finishing. But crash, I'm asleep for two hours, and it’s too late to complete my task.

Now, you would think that someone who does this regularly would come up with a plan to avoid this situation. But no, not me. In fact, I have numerous excuses for my procrastination. I won’t go into the psychological reasons, but something is definitely causing my lack of task orientation.

I know that I am supposed to be more of a right-brain thinker (another excuse?) Right-brain thinkers are more creative, visual, daydreaming, intuitive, with emphasis on possibilities, etc. Left-brain thinkers are more detailed, logical, mathematical, with emphasis on strategies, etc.

So, I guess if you are a right-brain person, getting stuck could be an easy habit. If you are a left-brain person, you will probably get the tasks done with more ease.

Ok, now have you ever heard of rationalization?

Be peaceful in the now…
Jeanne

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Let it Be...

I was sitting in silence,wondering what the subject of this blog might be. For some reason, the above phrase from an old Beatles song jumped into my head. It occurred to me that the concept of "let it be" could refer to much more than in the original song lyrics.
   I wonder if the phrase “Let it Be” could appropriately be used in a positive way that would help simplify life. For example:

  Let it be kindness when I see another person
Let it be the absence of worry
Let it be beautiful things that I see
Let it be that I am gentle when dealing with a difficult situation
Let it be that my integrity continues to be
Let it be mindfulness I do on a day that is chaotic
Let it be love that I sincerely give
Let it be God who I seek in my life’s journey

I could go on with many more reminders designed to deepen perspective on positive living. And probably, if you go deep inside yourself, you will discover a silent place where stress is gone. Just let it be and peace will follow.

Jeanne

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Only One Thing…

    Do you remember being a child and having the ability to be spontaneous
and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation? I can only speculate why so many adults simply give up on life when it comes to happiness, sit back and wait for happiness to suddenly occur--someday.

Many individuals have an unhealthy negative attitude that says I cannot change the world alone because I’m not strong enough or powerful enough to make any change. (I can understand that negative outlook with the way the world is today.)

But that’s not really true. Being able to have an impact in the world happens all the time. Everything you do and say, every choice you make changes the world. And the choices you make are where much of your power is. Where do you make your choices? In your mind.

                 Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness
                 in our lives: where we focus our attention.
   ---Greg Anderson

So, if you choose to be honest, empathetic, respectful of everyone, choose positive possibilities, and choose to spend quiet time listening to the voice within, you could make wonderful changes in the world.
Choose well…

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6/5/2020

     Freedom from Stress

   I’ll never stop being in awe of nature. Not necessarily with its' beauty, but also the remarkable ability to organize itself according to the seasons. It seems like it was only two weeks ago when the branches outside my office window were empty, dry, and completely dead. And I sat here contemplating who I could get to remove this dead fifteen-foot bush that covers this end of the house.

Last year the bush gave me numerous peaceful moments of God’s artistry. Birds were always in competition, jumping among the thick green branches, canvassing the area for potential nesting possibilities.

And the bush is back with a wonderful sense of privacy and inclusion of whatever written drama I wish to proclaim, in my blog, my books, or elsewhere. There is something about being close to nature that brings me closer to myself. The natural world never ceases to bring out the positive that general humanity has difficulty retaining. It regularly takes turns showcasing beauty in an organized pattern of quiet expression. Each tree branch, flower, flowering bush, and petal is slowly shifted with grace when a slight breeze comes through the area.

Natural scenery is a large part of the good stuff in life--what we often miss when we spend time with the unimportant, superficial, or mundane. It has become well-known that being in nature has been proven to remove the stress of life. It allows us to be good in our thoughts—the beginning of goodness in our actions.

It seems to me that nature is another blessing that moves us to seek the higher ground, to attempt to come closer to the best that is within us. And that can make all the difference...

5/29/2020

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Ok, it’s a hot day—the kind that weighs you down with heavy humidity and makes you either jump in water or stay in air-conditioning all day. It’s the heat that so many people couldn’t wait for last winter. It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s oppressive. Do you still like it?
Well, what kind of hot can you tolerate?: to be sweaty and overheated from a good workout, the dry, intense heat of an Arizona desert, or the heat of passion for a person, project, or belief?
The heat of passion can be good if it is managed in a positive way. It can give energy, purpose, and direction. But of course, if focused negatively, it can be a terrible source of evil that can bring down a nation one incident at a time.
But how about building up our humanity one incident at a time?
You can do it and only you in your unique way. The heat of passion can:help you:
---notice those around you who are in need or pain
                   ---learn to be compassionate
                   ---insert peace into a developing argument
                   ---respect each individual, knowing that all lives matter
                   ---develop pervasive gratitude for all you have been given
                   ---grow in your singular creativity
                   ---promote and appreciate what is positive in life
                   ---spread integrity and kindness around with recklessness
                   ---pick up someone who has forgotten how to care

And if it gets too hot to handle, try just sitting alone quietly in the coolness of
God’s love.

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5/16/20

Who’s In Control Here?
            There she was, complaining to anyone who would listen, answering each question of sympathy with still another blast of indignation. She even interrupted other conversations with her soapbox oratory. I mean it was embarrassing. Each time I would ask her to be quiet she would announce another terrible abuse, making it clear that I was the real cause of all her troubles.
            The quivering canine in the corner sat in silence, playing a proper patient role. His Mom didn’t feel like she was at the center of chaos in this little corner of the world. She could look on with no responsibility at all and quietly be amused. And so smug…
            Well, at least we were taken to a patient room quickly. They must have finally gotten this office organized. But did the verbal assault stop there? No way! Despite the lack of audience, my little feline friend kept steadily reminding me that this type of visit would not be tolerated today or in the future. After all, the place looked scary, smelled scary, had bad memories, and—oh yes, it was frequented by dogs. No, this was definitely a big mistake on someone’s part. I sighed, as I knew, once again, who was at fault.
            “But it won’t be much longer and you like Dr. Tom.” (Isn’t it ridiculous what we say to try and soothe our furry “kids”?)
“Well, here’s the doctor now…”
SILENCE!
Complete and total quiet. Only a small head stuck under the crook of my arm. “She thinks she’s hiding, Doctor.”
            Up she comes with a look that says, “I’m gonna get you for this. Just so he doesn’t stick that thermometer up my bu…but he’s doing it! Now you’re going to see a pout lady, like you’ve never seen before. Wait until we get home. I’ll never sit on your lap again.” Still, all is communicated in absolute silence. Oh, the power of a man with a white coat and letters after his name.
            Finally, the ordeal is over and I hear Dr. nice guy pat her on the head and say,
“Well kitty, I think you deserve an A for good behavior.” (WHAT! Didn’t you hear her Doc? She screamed the whole way over here. I had to explain my way out of confrontations with a police cruiser, an animal shelter truck, and three male strays looking for some action. I couldn’t keep her quiet. She was driving me crazy…)
            “By the way, Doctor, what do you think has been causing this problem since you say she is physically okay?”
“Stress.”
“Stress?!?” Great. She lives with a therapist.
“Meow”

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5/8/2020
Since Mother's day is Sunday, I would like to share something
I wrote as a gift for Moms:
In honor of all Mothers I want to say thank you:

for not only taking care of our scraped knees, but also for:
-comforting our bruised ego
-cleaning up after us
-letting us choose when you knew there was a better way
-staying up until we got home safely
-reminding us of what is important in life
-being such a good role model
-listening to our dreams (and nightmares)
-being the best cook in all the world
-designing all those costumes
-comforting us when we were sick
-looking the other way when we made a simple mistake
-covering up our social bloopers
-assuming our intentions were better than they were
-driving friends to countless activities
-covering us with a blanket when we fell asleep in a chair
-knowing just what we wanted for Christmas without asking
-putting up with all of our complaining
-listening to us even when you were tired
-for all of the hugs
-teaching us to care about others in need
-showing us how to be kind
-being patient with us during our anxiety-driven teen years
-asking our opinion when we were too young to know much
-always reminding us that you loved us
-giving us part of your piece of cake or pie because you knew we liked it
-teaching us to forgive others
-being calm when we needed a safe place
-letting us learn the musical instrument we wanted to play
rather than your favorite one
-holding us accountable for our actions while supporting us at the same time
-praying for us…always.

and especially,
for knowing that we love you… even though we haven’t said it often enough.

*********

(The above is a picture of my mother who raised ten children. I was one of the lucky ones.)
Have a wonderful weekend
Jeanne

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5/2/2020

Please Pause...
It is sunny out today, one of the few days with anything other than another cloudy day. Strange how much the weather can have an impact on how we feel. Sunshine always seems to make us feel better. It can wake us up to a better day and give us a brighter view of the world. Somehow, on sunny days we have the energy and attitude to do more, be more, and love more. When someone says, “Have a good day…” it almost seems possible. Chronic pain is a little less and hope a little brighter..

I can’t help but wonder why we wait for sunny days in order to live more. What would happen if we could bring peace home by being at peace? What if we gave ourselves a small chance each day to just be in a temporary silent world? What if, no matter what the weather is, we would, for a few minutes, be silent and listen to the soft sounds of God’s voice within?
I have always been an advocate of the importance of "no demand" time. This is that rare but chosen time to be free of any expectations from others. It is silence in the chaos of life and rest for the weary. It is time where you can be reminded of what is important in life to you…a time to be real, authentic, and calm. It is a pause in a whirl-wind of constant expectations and other assignments and appointments you might have agreed to and placed yourself in--a pause from the hectic schedule of constant have to dos.(And, yes, they will return.)

It is always amazing how refreshing daily life can become with only a few minutes each day of no demand time…of personal silence in the form of mindfulness, meditation, or listening to God. Are you willing to pause?

Be good to yourself...
Jeanne

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Strawberries were too delicate to be picked by machine. The perfectly ripe ones bruised at even too heavy a human touch. It hit her then that every strawberry she had ever eaten—every piece of fruit—had been picked by calloused human hands. Every piece of toast with jelly represented someone’s knees, someone’s aching back and hips, someone with a bandanna on her wrist to wipe away the sweat. Why had no one told (me) about this before?
Alison Luterman, What We Came For
   This brief passage from a book reminds me of the first thing necessary for genuine maturity and spiritual growth. Many of us lack compassion because we are not aware—or we may be aware of others but have put this awareness back in the "for reference" section of our minds. This is where it can easily be forgotten but can be brought to attention if some tragic experience occurs. We can feel the hurt or abuse of someone at that time. But that is usually temporary. Why does it take so long to learn compassion which goes beyond sympathy and empathy? Compassion has these also but includes some form of positive action.
A pastor once said that
                          Religion’s bottom line is loving action on
behalf of anyone in need of my presence.
                                                                                          Fr. Joseph Fata

There has been a lot of talk about heroes recently—those who have taken action
on behalf of society. Yes, they are heroes. And we can be also. I wonder what would happen if each one of us would live our lives with compassion on a daily basis. Wouldn’t that create many more heroes? It doesn’t take that much to do: a smile, a silent prayer, an acknowledgement of someone’s pain, a question that asks what you can do to help, etc. Mother Teresa has said we need to do small things with great love.

And that leads me to my favorite quote by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:

Teach only love. The only time is now.

Peace be with you...
Jeanne

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Since it is Good Friday for Christian Faiths and Passover for the Jewish Faith, I'm going to share something I wrote that is a reminder of what we are here for. The prayer itself is in bold and the other writing is an attempt at explaining...

Heavenly Father, life is your gift to us…
Have you considered what special gifts God has given to your life? Have you shown your gratitude for them? Do you realize how gifted you are even though you might be struggling with obstacles in your life right now?

You call us to share our lives in service to others…
Service begins with awareness of others’ needs. Compassion follows when we see everyone as children of God, and can be aware without any form of judgment. It is taking positive action for the sake of someone in need. Is compassion one of your ongoing ways of interacting with others?

Guide us as we choose each day to show your presence to all those we meet…
To live our Christian faith daily, we really do need to make a constant choice. We may want to show love to others, but it is very hard to be consistent, especially with those who do not love us in return or are strangers who are unlike us. Realize that we can always make a better choice.

Give us the courage to do whatever we can with whatever we have…
Although we can’t rid the world of poverty, pain, and political greed, there often is something we can do that will be a light in the darkness. And if we look, there is invariably someone around us who is in need of our sharing…even just a smile. Do you feel that you are doing whatever you can?

to bring your love to our community and the world…
Even though sometimes it may seem like being alone with no responsibilities would be ideal, part of our humanity is communal. We bring God’s love to others by the way we act towards them. We do this with kindness, humility, understanding, and sincerity.
And the only time is now…

Wishing you a Blessed Easter...
Jeanne

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Hi,
For many of us, being at home continuously can be boring, and the present situation frightening. The following essay is a way to try and put things into perspective...

Life Insights

As we get older, what causes us to seek something more meaningful than the accumulation of stuff? And by stuff, I mean that almost daily collection of material items, social recognitions, elements of control, judgments, fears, disappointments, awards, money, etc.

Sometimes it seems that we have wasted energy on things like what people will think, how right and successful we are, and how far we have come financially and socially. And now they seem like such useless entities. All the interpersonal slights, anger, frustrations, and failures etc., suddenly seem to be pointless time wasters. And we are left wondering why we worried and put ourselves under stress.

Is the wisdom that supposedly comes with age an automatic oozing of common sense that tells us enough is enough? When will it be time to feel at peace? But one of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego killing and getting rid of self-absorption. It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have control over our lives. Much of our time, we are in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, trying to justify our very existence.

If only we could know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely have and are playing the control game and are lacking in self-esteem.

It is always helpful to sit back and think of all the good things in your life with a sense of gratitude. We can leave all that negative stuff alone and decide to have a positive perspective on life now and know that it begins with kindness…

Be at peace,
Jeanne

PS: My latest e-book, Just Be...and Peace will Follow, is online and published by Brighton Publishing, LLC. It is a gift book for someone you may know or love. Check it out...

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Hi,
Like you probably are, I am staying at home to keep from giving and getting the recent virus that has taken over our lives. At first it may have felt like a dream come true to not have to go to work. Instead you could sleep as long as you wanted and just relax, watch television or play with your laptop/phone. Time to do anything you wanted… Right?

But I realized that I have literally been inside the house for almost three weeks. I have had the time to complete several tasks that have been put off for a long time. I did more cooking than I ever thought possible, and watched more television than I ever should have. I listened to God in meditation, but all I heard at first was, “Where have you been?”

If you are in the same situation as I am and are starting to feel bored, here are a few suggestions:
                      --try making a puzzle,
                      --give your plants some tender loving care,
                      --watch a few Hallmark movies instead of the news,
                      --do a hobby that was a favorite when you had the time,
                      --do some family games together, like Scrabble, Monopoly, etc.
                      --give yourself some meditation time,
                      --casually spend the time to enjoy your food,
                      --try a new recipe or learn to cook,
                      --be grateful if you have food in the house,
                      --do word puzzles,
                      --read a book you have been wanting to read,
                      --call your mother,
                      --think about your purpose in life,
                      --play with the dog or cat—they are ecstatic that you are home,
                          well, at least the dog is…
                      --pray—but remember to be silent and let God talk…

********************************************************************************

Hi...
The picture of daises is a symbolic gift reminding you that Spring will not be cancelled. If you feel stuck with no place to go, this might be a good time to explore some quiet space. (It will help you deal with all the negative changes in our lives right now.)

Silent places allow us to breathe deeply, to take in
little messages of self-respect from our inner selves.
They give us the gentle space to feel the basic
spiritual themes that will put us back on the path
when we are lost.
Robert J. Wicks

Have you ever tried sitting in a quiet space with a lit candle and no
other distractions? If not, try doing that (with or without the candle) and simply enjoy the quiet. Many people will use the time listening to the soft voice of God in prayer. But even without that, being in the quiet with no demands on you can do wonders. It helps put things in perspective and allows you to make easier decisions afterwards. It can be a place for hope---something that is desperately needed at this time of the Pandemic. And it can help remove some of the stress and panic that many people feel.
Hope you try it...
Jeanne

**************************************************************************

March sixth and we are all hopeful for Spring. Maybe the birds outshine us in hopefulness. They seem to be scampering, a strange movement for most birds. I see them as floating, gliding, foraging, flying, etc. but I usually don’t see them as scampering.There is lightness in their movements—almost as if they are saying, “Let’s get on with it, isn’t Spring here yet?” Or maybe that’s what I am saying. Of course, birds are anxious to get their families started. Who wouldn’t look forward to infants in the house?
However, right now the birds outside my window and I are stuck in a cold, rainy weather pattern that has been with us all winter. And when it hasn’t been raining it has been cloudy. The weather seems to reflect the state of society--not a pretty picture…
But the birds are happy and maybe that is a better sign of faith. Unlike us, maybe they listen to God’s silent messages of hope. Maybe they are able to live in the present and look forward to the future knowing that God is always with them. After all, they do go about trusting that this or that will occur when needed, and there are always brothers and sisters to play with. But the birds are happy living in the now, always being aware of what is going on around them, careful not to miss the good things in life.
How about you and I? Do you think we could we do that?

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Following is a quote I came across a long time ago. Definitely something
to think about...

It can happen again.
To the Jews, the Blacks, the Hispanics, or any other identifiable group that an apathetic public is willing to let be abused.
All it takes is the coming together of even a small number of people who require a scapegoat
to explain away their own insecurities, lack of abilities,
or low self-esteem,
and you have the environment for creating another Hitler.

Simon P. Sloan An Isolated Incident

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I wonder when it was that I ceased to walk and move with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago those who were wise in the way the world works didn’t yet take me seriously.
It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have the power to function at our best. But in reality, just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel relaxed with explaining old insecurities and we can start to smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike one department at a time. And so we go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.
Right between adulthood and old age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure--a time when, at least for part of a lifetime, we can sense that we are winning the struggle.

Just think about it...During that special extended period of ideal life we wouldn't have to worry about so many things that seem to throw us a curve at other times. We wouldn't worry, for example, about what other people think or about trying to impress anyone. We wouldn't be afraid to stand up for our rights as consumers, citizens, women, people with disabilities, people with racial, cultural or other differences.
If there were this extended time period in life when we felt in control, we could walk with our head held high and the rest of the body in perfect coordination. We could actually participate in all of the activities that the mind says are interesting and amusing.
And we wouldn’t have to live life on the defensive. There would be no need to blame others or try to change them. If we felt comfortable with ourselves for this extended period of time, we could allow others to be themselves…with no demands from us. Also, wouldn’t it be wonderful to not feel obligated to do something we really didn’t want to do? Just imagine feeling comfortable saying “No” at times when someone puts on the pressure instead of struggling to come up with an excuse.

Oh yes, there’s the fatigue aspect. We wouldn’t be nearly as tired because we wouldn’t be in that state of fight or flight all of the time. We would be happy simply being ourselves regardless of the behavior of others. If there were this period in life when we felt comfortable with ourselves, we could perform at our best, live our values and ideals, be good to ourselves and to others, and stop fighting a self-imposed system of constant disappointments.
But now that I think of it, whoever said we were supposed to fight our way through life? Perhaps maturity is really nothing more than learning how to flow…

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Probably the hardest transition to make is the change that is necessary to become a better you. It takes a lot of courage to keep striving to be the real you, the best you possible, your authentic self.
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?

    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.

    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.

    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in silence, prayer, or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace.Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle lesson to learn.

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Many people wonder how St.Teresa of Calcutta was able to consistently show so much love to each individual she met. In answer to this question she apparently said that she followed a "simple path". This is my adaptation of her answer written in the form of a prayer:

God, your path is really a simple journey...
help us to understand that:
it is in silence where we will discover prayer;
it is in prayer that we will find faith;
in faith we will know love;
and through love will come the willingness
to serve others...
and the result of service
is peace.

copyright Jeanne Adams

********************************************************************

I am often fond of saying that life is one long lesson in humility.

Well, recently I was once again reminded of this truth when I made a somewhat disparaging comment about my slight annoyance with someone’s behavior.

It wasn’t even like me to notice, much less make a comment. I thought (too easily) that I was a person who didn’t judge others. I’ve always agreed with and felt, like Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?” And I tend to be a person who doesn’t talk very much. Also, compassion is extremely high on my bucket list of virtues I would like to aspire to on a consistent basis.

The humility part comes from being totally wrong about my assessment of the situation based on insufficient information and my jumping to conclusions. And so, I learned that I have a much longer way to go when it comes to actually growing in faith and maturity.

Peace,
Jeanne

********************************************************************************************************

Hello again…
Just returned to my usual schedule, so I thought I could start again on my blog.
Following is an exercise I used in several of my classes and this is a way of sharing:
It is an exercise on what it might feel like to experience loss.
(Author is unknown.) Here we go…

***First, write down 10 things that you most enjoy doing:

Now cross out anything that you couldn’t do IF:

You lost your best friend

Your salary was cut in half.

You became disabled.

You lost your spouse o significant other.

You had no transportation.

You were in a nursing home or extended care.

No one showed you any affection.

There are so many people who are experiencing many different
types of losses eg. parents who have lost their children, individuals
who have lost their health, those who have lost hope, safety, security,
purpose, courage, or something to look forward to. The point is that
feelings of loss occur much more and in many other ways than we realize.

Their experience can also be helped by us in many ways. For example,
just a smile to a stranger, simply acknowledging someone’s hurt, calling
to check on someone, a short note sent in the mail, including them in
an activity, remembering someone, or taking time to genuinely listen.
Never underestimate what you can do to serve others. Much is determined
by our ability to be aware and to care…

Have a wonderful week.
Jeanne

_______________________________________________________________________

Just a note: I will be busy for the next few weeks, so there will not be blogs.
I wish everyone a blessed Christmas and happy holiday...

***************************************************

Hi there...
I think you have probably heard this one but I'd like to share it just in case:

I want to thank you, Lord, for being close to me so far
this day. With your help, I haven't been impatient,
lost my temper, been grumpy, judgmental,
or envious of anyone.
But I will be getting out of bed in a minute
and I think I will really need your help then.
-author unknown

   I know this is meant to be humorous (and it is), but at this time of year, right before
the various holidays, eg. Christmas, it can be a serious plea for help because of the frantic activity we place ourselves in. What we seem to forget is that everything we do is a choice and although we want to be a part of something wonderful, often the commercial chaos overwhelms us and creates a great deal of pressure and stress.
Here are a few suggestions that research has found to be effective at reducing stress:

---spend a few minutes each day, or several times a day, and place yourself
  in quiet...with no demands on yourself---even if the bathroom is seemingly the only place
  to find quiet.
---walk outside in a city park or nature area and breathe slowly and deeply.
---concentrate on the reason for the season--where real peace can be found.
---try to fully experience togetherness, church services, special food treats,
presents---or at least the intention, decorations, etc.
---take time to be kind.
---pray for others who have less than you or are lonely, confused, hungry or in pain.

I could go on but I think you get the idea. Put your life into perspective,.. but know that you may
still need God's help...

**************************************************************************

The following interesting thoughts are from another unknown writer. I've adapted a few.
See if you agree:

    I've learned...
that the best classroom
in the world is at the feet of an
elderly person.

I've learned...
that having an infant fall asleep in your arms
is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

    I've learned...
that being kind is more important
than being right.

I've learned...
that no matter how serious your life
requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.

I've learned...
that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned...
that life is like a roll of toilet paper.The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...
that sometimes all a person needs
is a hand to hold and a listening heart to understand.

author unknown
and I've personally learned...
that everything other than love
is just clutter and fluff.

Peace,
Jeanne

*************************************************************************************************

11/18/19

“But if I choose life, what would I do with it?”

The above question was asked of me by a very lonely and depressed woman on a hospital psychiatric unit.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way about living.
I wonder what became of the happiness skills we had as children---the ability to be spontaneous and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation, a sense of discovery and awe. Why do so many adults simply give up on life, sit back and wait for happiness to happen someday?
How much happiness do you, in a sense, give up? Have you lost contact with the joys of living?

Try a simple exercise:

IMAGINE AN IDEAL DAY… If you could do anything you wanted all day, how would you spend your time? Write down 10 favorite activities that you see yourself doing on this ideal day, and then ask yourself: How many of these activities do I do in an average week? How much time do I spend on each activity?
Am I selecting happy times for me? Am I doing what is really important to me?
And if you choose life do you know what to do with it?

*********************************************************************

11/9/19
Ok, being an honest person, I have to admit that this is not something written in the moment. I actually wrote it awhile back. However, with the present drowning of "holiday" commercialism, it seems to fit with today's growing chaos...

Tell Me Again...

The world with its complexities appears to be escalating at too rapid a rate to maintain understanding. As soon as I think I understand one change, another inexplicable one takes place and I am left to simply scratch my head and wonder why. It seems that in the frantic race to be the latest, simplicity, common sense, goodness and quality have all taken a back seat, replaced by things that just don’t feel right. So, for the sake of those of us who haven’t kept up with the reasoning behind all that has changed in society, could you please try and explain?
            For example, tell me again:

---Why natural beauty goes unnoticed or ignored, while garish and bizarre images
    permeate our media.
---How all those insurance companies got their medical degrees.
---Why manufacturers continue to insult consumers by sneakily reducing the
volume of a product until the original size is called “double” with double the
                price.
---How the economy can be doing so well when so many people have to hold two
    minimum wage jobs in order to survive.

Please explain…

---Why we spray our lawns with toxic chemicals that harm children, pets, and
nature; or
---Why we completely destroy acres of trees in order to build a group of high priced houses on barren land, and then call the development “Woodland”  Estates.

---Why, even with all the latest technology, the weather report still
                seems to be wrong half the time.

And while you are at it, could you also tell me again:

---Why we seem to have lost our awareness of what is good and decent,
                respectful and genuine.
---Why people do not listen the first time, why bureaucracies breed
    incompetence, or why there are those who think that to love someone is to
                control that person.
---When did shooting someone became the answer to everyday problems and greed replace integrity?

          Try to explain…

---Why millions are spent on lighting up the sky for 10-minute spectaculars while
    some of America’s children still go hungry.
---Why, when you finally become aware of what is really important in life, time
    passes so quickly.
---How people can teach intolerance and hate, and then wonder why there is so
    much violence, or what happened to getting to know your neighbor and being
    there for each other.

And, remind me, once again, about the importance of:

---Having dreams...
---Believing that I am loveable and capable...
...And, learning how to be kind…

Please, tell me again

******************************************************************

11/2/19
In the moment I'm thinking about all those who may have lost perspective on life..).

I wonder now when it was that I ceased to walk with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago that I wasn't taken seriously by those who were wise in the way the world works.

It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have it all together. But in reality, it seems that just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel comfortable with explaining old insecurities and we can smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike--one department at a time.

And so we unfairly go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.

Right between young adulthood and middle age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure....a time when, at least for the moment, we can feel up to the struggle.

Peace,
Jeanne

You can reach me at jpwriters@aol.com

******************************************************

I Want to Get Off...
10/25/19

Have you ever watched an animal (e.g., dog or cat), sitting and just looking at the world around them? Have you noticed a bird simply sitting on a branch just observing life? Do you ever wonder what they are thinking? Even animals seem to take time to rest and reflect.

    Sometimes we find ourselves lost in an almost constant state of distraction. We go from being distracted by noise to distraction from over stimulation, or agitation from pain and fatigue. Demands on our time and multiple social expectations can lead to a robot-like existence.

When this continues on a daily basis without relief, we can be left with feelings of being overwhelmed, embattled, and confused about life in general. Have you ever felt this way? Well, it seems like this might be a good time to stop the thrill ride and begin to treat the dizziness and confusion. This might be the time to look at life from a new perspective—a perspective of personal peace and simplicity.

Mindfulness really does work. The short but regular time spent in silence and alone can help you look at life from a new viewpoint. It can simplify what seems overwhelmingly difficult and create a new you--someone who can answer daily demands with calmness and confidence. Just remember that now is the only real time. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination.

Peace,
Jeanne

Questions, comments, suggestions? I'd love to hear from you, especially if you have any blog subjects that you might like.

You can e-mail me at JPwriters@aol.com.



***********************************************************************************

10/20/19
  Recently a lot has been said about clutter and its effect on those who are unable to control it.
Sitting here (in the moment), I am aware of how easy it is to produce clutter without seeing it until it begins to overwhelm. As I look around my office, there are piles (neat piles) but so many that I don’t know what specifically is in them. In fact, it almost looks like a wanna-be professional hoarder. (I wonder what happened to my seeking simplicity and mindfulness).

Yes, my piles seem to have purpose. But do my many projects and pending works justify this? It looks like an office of someone who may live in the moment, but is terribly disorganized in the moment. It is an affront to my integrity.
   So, what can I do to fix the situation? Well, I could diminish the piles by putting them all into one pile and create a pretend organized environment. Or I could stuff them all into bulging office files and never find them again. I could do mini fixes like stop paying bills, stop writing and submitting manuscripts, and take the time to finally put my recipe book together. Not gonna happen…all
   There are two days free, today and tomorrow, that have no commitments other than college football. Should I spend my time on Facebook and Pinterest or become the organized person I wish I were by clearing off some of the noncritical piles?

  Ok, help me, what do you think?…

************************************************************************

What are you looking for?

In the moment I am thinking about the concept of happiness, peace of mind, and what really works to achieve them.

Awhile back there was some research on what is absolutely necessary for peace of mind (happiness). Following is my adaptation of the factors that had the greatest number:

1. Shun suspicion and resentment. Keeping a grudge has been found to pull down happiness levels an average of 50 percent.

2. Live in the present. Most unhappiness comes from an unwholesome preoccupation with the mistakes and failures of the past. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. It is as vital to your happiness as forgiving others.

3. Don't waste time and energy fighting conditions you can't change
There is little you can do to heal the incurable disease of a loved one, or change the personality of those with whom you live. So stop hitting your head against the wall.

4. When you find yourself in a state of emotional stress, reach out to others instead of retreating within and building a prison of loneliness.

5. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues of love, humor, thrift and church attendance, etc.

6. Stop expecting too much of yourself. When there is too wide a gap between the standards you set for yourself and actual achievement, Unhappiness is inevitable. If you can't improve the performance, try lowering the demands instead.

7. Self-centered materialistic people score lowest on the Duke University tests for measuring happiness. While those are are high in altruism and wholesome religious attitudes generally come out with the top happiness ratings.
Author unknown
(There is much more about happiness in my book, HAPPINESS--Hidden in Plain Sight. It can be purchased through my website here.)

As always, I wish you peace...
Jeanne

**********************************************************************

Don’t you wish you could slow down
the pace of life?

It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation, but it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace..

Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up.

Whatever the reason, it is worth it to try—in a simple way. Give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace with no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life, and living will have more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…

Now is the Time

I’ve often thought that most of us live life backwards. It seems that we tend to place all the important things on the back burner and to spend copious amounts of time on non-essentials, especially early in life. We allow negative things from the past and fearful imaginations of our future to control the time we have now—the only real time there is.
I wonder what would happen if we turned things around and spent our energy, thoughts, and awareness on the important things now.
Someday soon I would like to be able to slow down enough to experience all and only the good things that happen in the moment. I will take time to be aware of what is going on around me---to finally realize that this time and only this time is life.
Now is really the time to be grateful, to listen, to try to understand, and to love. Now is the time to be aware, to look at beauty, to learn, to be kind. Right now someone needs you. Right now there is pain in someone’s eyes. Right now someone needs to hear that they are loved.
What would happen if instead of continuing to live lives of quiet desperation, we listened in silence to the soft voice of God within us? Would we possibly then be able to see the God within each other?
Choice…what a wonderful gift.

*********************************************************************************

A Quick Perspective on Life

In the span of a lifetime, we learn many useful
insights that can help create a perspective on life.

For example, Life is always and only right here, right now, this moment... Think about it. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination. However, if that promotion brings your 15 minutes of fame, you may discover that it is superficial. And we know that Publishers Clearing House will probably never visit... but God is always with us.

It can take awhile for some people to realize that a great amount of happiness comes from the ability to be positive and aware of goodness.
Beauty is all around us, but some people spend their lives fixated on trash. Few are aware that negative thinking only makes pain worse.

One of the hardest thoughts to assimilate for some is that we are all children of God --- and the family needs you. As the world seems to decay around us, and at times the skies are an endless gray with only patches of blue, we try to look for good news. But the overwhelming negative conditions seem to be blocking our search. So, we are stuck with basically two choices. We can sink to new levels of low morality, lack of integrity, greed, disrespect of others, and negativity, or we can seek out what is good, kind, trustworthy,and naturally beautiful---and become the good person we are hoping to meet.

It's your choice...do you see that patch of blue?

One last insight: Genuine love is the immediate and final answer to everything...

*****************************************

How to give yourself a hug…

---put your “To Do” list on hold temporarily and simply “be”
---spend time around those you love without any
   electronic devices
---make a steaming cup of hot tea or cocoa
---wrap up in a throw blanket and engage in a good book
            ---sink into in a warm bubble bath
            ---allow yourself time for a nap
            ---buy fresh flowers just for you
            ---enjoy a special ice cream treat
            ---relax with your favorite CD
            ---buy an impulsive inexpensive gift
            ---snuggle with a pet
---put on comfortable, loose fitting clothes
            ---if available, relax in a hot tub
            ---feel the freshness of clean sheets and a warm blanket
            ---take time to make a special breakfast and enjoy
            ---sit back in a recliner chair and browse through a favorite magazine
            ---give yourself do not disturb time
            ---put your right hand on your left shoulder,
                your left hand on your right shoulder,
                and remind yourself that you are worth it…

*******************************************************

It’s nice outside. Sunny and warm. The trees are quivering in the breeze and the birds are racing across my view. I finally have quiet and my own time. I find that this is essential to having a spiritual life that is meaningful to me. There is so much to see when looking out a window into nature, and I am grateful to have a view like this. Focusing on nature has been shown to almost automatically create a relaxed feeling and frame of mind.

Of course, focusing, in our chaotic and unsure world, is difficult for all of us. It seems that we can’t get over the rushed schedule that we have made for ourselves. Always adding another activity appointment, agreeing to another request, learning the rules and language of yet another sport, preparing for a too soon family invitation, etc. We seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to catch up with ourselves.

I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if all of us took just ten minutes every day to listen to silence through meditation and mindfulness. Would we eventually slow down the rest of the day? Would we more likely keep what is really important to us on our minds? Would we find it easier to be kind?

There is so much that silence can teach us. Try listening to the quiet and if you hear God whispering, listen to the message. It is probably in the quote by Dr. Jarold Jampolsky, Teach only love. The only time is now…

********************************************************************************

. Life is full of minute-by-minute choices. Every choice that we make determines not only how we are changed, but also how the world around us is changed.

We can choose to reach out to our environment with a sense of curiosity, wonder, respect and appreciation. As a result, our lives can be filled with enjoyment, playfulness, and peace of mind. It's largely a question of attitude and personal actions.

It has to do with who we are. If we see a world of possibilities, it is because we look around us with a positive outlook on life. If we see a world that is dangerous and threatening, we can become someone who is fearful. Every thing we do, every choice we make, changes the world. By choosing to be happy with determination and conviction, we start a process of positive thinking that allows love to come in to our lives--and into the world.
Be at peace within...

*******************************************

It seems that wisdom is actually hard to discover or obtain. Books will help, but only to a point. Wisdom seems to come with steady observance without prejudice and much reflection on your own and others' behavior.

The more time I spend in the chaotic world of human interactions, the more I realize how often we simply get it all wrong. Some of the things I have come to know are so opposite what we generally see as truth. For example, along with others I have discovered.....
                   ---that the more we hurt, the more self-absorbed we become.

---that the ability to put things into perspective is critical to dealing with stress, pressure, chaos, disappointments, twists and turns in relationships, and general upsetting occurrences in life.....and that the person with the most personal power is the one who has this ability—to put things into perspective.

---that people who choose to consistently function at the user relationship level are left with families and friendships that are dysfunctional, superficial, and lacking in trust and love.

---that the strongest person is the one who refuses to be pulled down to the level of behavior that includes manipulation, gossip, criticism, and put downs of others.

---that the most mature person has no need to be aligned with whoever is perceived to have the most power, the most popularity, or the most attention at the moment.

          ---that cleverness is not nearly as attractive as compassion or kindness.

---and I now know that the more we can quiet our minds, the more we are able to let peace come into our lives.

**************************************************************************

Although there are many more Life Enrichment Skills like humor & playfulness, spontaneity, enthusiasm, etc.,I am going to end this monologue with the skill of Compassion.

This is one of the most important yet difficult skills to master because it takes awareness, caring, respect for an individual, and empathy to even start. Compassion not only has sympathetic feelings for another hurting person, but takes a major step forward that brings humanity to a new level. Compassion makes an attempt to help a suffering situation. And it is the action of reaching out to another that sets it apart from just feeling sorry for another in pain or discomfort.

Probably the best known story that demonstrates compassion is the story of the good Samaritan. It can be found in the New Testament and is the story about the Samaritan who stops to help a stranger who was beaten by robbers. He took the man to a place where he could be cared for and paid for the man's care, leaving extra money for further needs.This occurred after several people had gone by, saw the victim of the robbery on the ground but walked on, doing nothing to help.

It is difficult to reach out to someone in need. It can make us vulnerable to unknown circumstances and reactions. But no matter what religion we follow, reaching out to anyone suffering is usually one of the basic behaviors expected of all who are sincerely living our faith...even just a smile or statement of caring.

Compassion includes elements of gentleness and respect for all who are in need. So, if you see someone who has mastered the skill of Compassion, it will be one of the most beautiful scenes you will ever remember.

Peace...

Jeanne

************************************************************

Ok, just a couple more Life Enrichment Skills. This one is Curiosity.
Do you remember as a child, being curious about everything? You would pick up a leaf or find a toad, lay down on the grass and wonder about the clouds.You might have wondered about the stars and where you came from.Children have a delightful sense of curiosity. They are awed by the world around them and search for explanations. In a recent book, I have over 500 ideas of positive things that seem to be lost as we grow up.I feel that they are hidden in plain sight, but we don't see many of them.Curiosity as an adult allows you search for the beauty in life.

I suggest that the best place to start to become curious again is in nature.There are endless opportunities to help you have wonderful experiences. And it has been proven that being in nature enhances relaxation. I hope you will try to develop a sense of curiosity. It is a way of becoming alive again as most of us are living by rote.

Have you wondered about any clouds recently?

*****************************************************************

One of the great Life Enrichment Skills is Creativity. (I can hear you say, "but I'm not creative.") You can be and it will open up a freedom
that you may never knew existed.
The difficulty with creativity is the need at the start to be relaxed and not feel you have to be in control. It is also necessary to not worry about being judged. You see, creativity involves use of the right side of the brain--the non-controlling side.To be creative, you need to simply let go of having to control everything, be open to new things, and see possibilities, etc.

Do you remember having a hobby or a favorite activity as a child? I'll bet that might have given you a sense of freedom. Do you ever get so lost in an enjoyable interest that you lose track of time? This is called "flow" and is in the realm of creativity.It is healthy, and has the potential for a creative experience.There was an art therapist I knew who answered the statement, "I can't draw" by saying, "just make a mark." This would usually help to start the creative juices flowing.

With a daily life that is so regimented yet chaotic, it is definitely worth it to do something creative as part of your life..There are so many possibilities to be creative.
Just make a mark...

Jeanne

****************************************************

One Life Enrichment Skill that you might not imagine is simple Awareness. This is the ability to notice things outside of yourself. Ironically we have become a society that has made it much more difficult to be aware. The almost constant absorption in digital communication has left us with crooked posture, sore necks, and still another addiction.

Awareness isn't always a skill that we think of as wonderful to possess. Although it opens us up to some of the beauty and goodness in life, it also allows an openness to things like the needs of others and the pain and poverty of life. And once awareness of negativity and suffering becomes known, there is the problem of deciding how to respond. This can include the response to a friend who is sick and would benefit from a note or card, deciding to volunteer where there is a real need, actively trying to change laws that are insufficient or wrong, offering random acts of kindness, etc.

Awareness puts us in the position of being open to learning new things. It helps to take us above the level of user relationships. Of course it is much easier to keep our heads in the sand (or in our phones), but awareness can be the first step to a genuine spiritual and caring life, and in the end this is what matters...

Jeanne

*******************************************************

Another Life Enrichment Skill is the ability to enjoy yourself. But wait, when was the last time you really enjoyed yourself? For some people it has been a very long time...

I think very few people know how to enjoy the goodness that life has to offer. Enjoyment can come from many different avenues.You can enjoy food, art, sports, nature experiences, recognition at work, finishing a difficult task, playing with pets,driving a new car for the first time, receiving a present, watching something beautiful, listening to meaningful music, etc. These are just a few examples.

I'm sure you have observed that most people ( especially while on vacation or at an event) try to take something home with them by repeatedly using whatever camera is
available to remember the experience. The problem is that they miss the experience. So, many of the good feelings that might have gone with actually experiencing the situation are lost. And many times enjoyment is lost.

This is where mindfulness might help.because to live in the moment and silence the noise in you head, opens yourself up to what you are experiencing. After all, now is life; now is the only time we have to live. The past is just memories and the future is expectations.

I hope you will allow yourself to be aware of each moment and to feel good about something. Now is the only real time that you have.Enjoy yourself...

Jeanne

**********************************************************

Ok, The next Life Enrichment Skill is Appreciation. This is what allows us to to be moved by beauty or to become enthusiastic about another persons' competence, (ie. usually a sports figure, etc.).Other examples are our appreciation of Grandmas' apple pie, the best coffee we have ever tasted, or the bigger than normal tip we received.

In many ways appreciation precedes gratitude. After all, it is hard to be grateful for something we don't appreciate. Appreciation opens the door to all the good things in life. Look at the above picture. It can be seen as just a picture of water or as a waterfall that gently flows in a peaceful way. It's obvious that to appreciate the details of a nature scene is to have more enjoyment. Often when someone really appreciates a particular thing, they become expert hobbyists in the field. For example, someones' appreciation of wine can lead to them becoming a wine connoisseur.

It seems that without the ability to appreciate life we are left with a life of rote and boredom. So, can you slow down and take the time to develop the art and skill of appreciation? There is so much beauty out there...

Wishing you a peaceful week.

Jeanne

*******************************************************************

Life Enrichment Skills ---what really add quality to our lives. The second one in my series is a sense of Wonder.

Do you remember when you were young and the whole day was filled with amazing surprises that sparked your curiosity more? A sense of wonder is the ability to say "Oh, Wow!" at life, to be actively aware of beauty, talent, goodness, etc. It fills us with positive energy and makes the world brighter. And it increases our ability to appreciate the gifts that we have been given.

We can wonder at something or about something. For example, we can wonder at the presence of a newborn infant or wonder about how decorative cakes are made. But when we talk about a sense of wonder we usually mean to wonder at something wonderful.

This is one of those skills that children have naturally, but as we grow up we seem to lose. One time I was with a client sitting by a stream when three Canada geese came down and did a simultaneous perfect landing on the water. My spontaneous response was, "Oh wow! did you see that?" But from her perspective, it was just another mundane situation. Lack of a sense of wonder can occur because of many things like depression, grief, self-absorption, loss, etc. But it can be renewed.

Suggestions for renewing a sense of wonder: Spend more time in nature; be aware of sights and sounds; allow yourself to be silent; consider the importance of living in the now as much as possible since now is the only time we really have; begin to be aware and appreciate small experiences that have been taken for granted.

Go in peace...

*********************************************

6/29/19

Okay, I don't have anything material to pass out, but I have "something much more valuable"...
Life Enrichment skills and gifts are the real things that help make us happier individuals. There is no cost, no price--they are free. However, we seem to have lost many of them along the way. We tend to have been sidetracked by society.
What I would like to do is to increase awareness of what some of the Life Enrichment Skills are so you can practice (maybe again).There are approximately 15 to 20 of them. The next several blogs will be my meager thoughts--in the moment, on a variety of Life Enrichment skills that add genuine value to our lives.

The first life enrichment skill is Gratitude. This is the ability, no matter what our situation is, to be grateful for what we have been given. Some of the happiest people in the world have very few material items. In reality, material goods are not necessary for happiness. Many of us have been given the wrong message that the more we have the more successful we are, and if we can only acquire more we will obtain peace of mind. With this wrong message can come a sense of entitlement, and a belief that others do not deserve what we should be entitled to.
Gratitude helps us realize that all though all that we have may be more or less than what others have, we are gifted with numerous things to be grateful for. Gratitude can change our attitude and give us satisfaction and acceptance.It takes us off our podium and places us firmly on the ground with all of our other brothers and sisters.

So, what are you grateful for?
When was the last time you said "thank you" and sincerely meant it?

Peace be with you...
Jeanne

************************** 6/22/19 Hi there... You may be aware that there are four basic ethical principles that we as human beings need to follow or at least hold true.They are the ethical principles that are taught in all healthcare professions.
(Too bad they are not consistently taught in other professions such as business and politics.)

I can't help but wonder what would happen if each of us chose our behavior with these in mind...

First--Do no harm
Make things better
Respect others
Be fair
Be honest

Ok, who's the smart one that noticed there are five listed?
And there is even one more ethical principle that Jesus gives us: Be loving to all.

When I wrote this last sentence I was so tempted to put it in the past tense, eg..Jesus gave us...But I think we tend to then use his teaching as just something in the past rather than today, and today is the only time we have to love others...

Be at peace...
Jeanne

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It’s one of those days that is almost summer but not quite. It’s even better. The sky is blue and the trees become a sparkle field when I look up through them. The temperature is between 60/70. This is my favorite kind of day—the type where the weather allows no reason for negative thinking. Here and now I feel good, positive, and kind. It is a day—like any other day really, where the environment does its’ best to help with happiness.
It is interesting how once I am in a positive mood it leads to awareness of other positives. I am more aware and appreciative of the bluebird I saw on the fence yesterday or the catbird meowing outside my office window. I am glad to get a magazine in the mail. It will be added to my reading list tonight (one of my favorite parts of the day.) With my senses on alert for some of the good things in life I feel like I can be my best in whatever situation occurs. Relaxation causes this but mindfulness and meditation also can. They all have the ability to put me in the now--
the true reality.
I wonder why I need things outside myself to be prompts for being my best. Couldn’t I just be reminded that learning to be my best, along with learning to love are the two main goals in life. Sounds easy but is very difficult. If only it could go on regularly, consistently, without over thinking. If only it would always be easy to feel positive. If only I would spend more time with the silence that is peace…

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My new senior bucket list...

Being of the age where I am bombarded with wisdom, I’ve discovered that I need to adjust my lifetime bucket list because my body is not being cooperative. So, the following are what I hope to do before I die.

--Finish my racy novel and send it to Harlequin.
--Watch the Cleveland Browns play in the Super Bowl.
--Review my vacation pictures of the top of Mt. Everest.
--Re-gift my husband.
--Stay up once a week after 9:00 pm.
--Get my scooter detailed.
--Go on a zip line ride through virtual reality.
--Finally earn the medical degree I have been seeking--one body part at a time.
--Use my lifetime collection of fruit cakes for Christmas gifts.
--Get rid of all Christmas wrapped boxes from 1960.
--Definitely finish the wine left over from my sister’s wedding in 1954.
--For the first time, treat my family to dinner on my good china.

Wish me luck…

**********************************************

The Present of Your Life

Present is a rich word in two senses. It means gift and it means now.
That describes your life too. It is a gift, and it is happening now.
As you read these words, you are living your life. Your life isn’t something that’s going to happen once you’ve rehearsed the right lines or saved up enough money or found the right spouse or landed the perfect job or moved to the perfect place, etc. Your life is happening every moment and you can’t escape or postpone it. What you’re doing now is spending a small portion of your life reading this. You are using part of that gift that is your life. And you need to use that gift as well and as wisely as you know how with a sense of responsibility, truthfulness, wisdom,and compassion.

The following truths or facts of life are starting points from which new growth and
happiness can occur:

----- No one can bring your life to you
----- No matter what you do in life, someone important to you isn’t going
to like it at times.
-----   Though it’s painful, rejection won’t kill you--- and it may even
  lead to growth.
-----   Every choice means giving up something else.
----- Some people are not capable of giving you what you want from them.
----- The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
----- Life is a continuous range of possibilities, not an on/off switch.
-----    Some problems cannot be solved, but you can make peace with them.
  adapted from On a Clear Day You
                                                                                     Can See Yourself   by
                                                                                     Dr. Sonya Friedman

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5/11/19

Many of us are aware of the Serenity Prayer, but most have only heard the first half of the prayer. I feel the second half is equally as useful so I want to share the the whole version with you:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Grant me patience with the changes that take time,
an appreciation for all that I have,
a tolerance of those with
different struggles, and the strength to get up
and try again one day at a time.

************************************************

5/3/19


  Necessary “How To” skills you never learned in school…

   A while back I had written a blog on critical “how to” skills you never learned in school. By request, I have added some additional necessary skills that go with the challenges of adulthood.

See if you agree…

            ---How to handle suffering in your life
            ---How to keep perspective when things seem overwhelming
            ---seeing beyond political rhetoric and commercial manipulation
            ---learn to be at peace with yourself
            ---How to prioritize your needs so that effort is spent on the
  most important
---listening to advice from an older person (who may know what is really
               important)
            ---How to raise children in a constantly changing society
---going beyond tolerance to seeing the dignity of each individual
---learning to focus on all that is good and let go of what drags you down
---How to live in the now with awareness and without judgment
---How to gradually reduce your ego and get out of yourself
---realizing that love is a verb…

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal.
Take time to go in peace…

**********************************************************

Happy Easter to all Christians out there. Easter and Holy Week are the basis of our religious and life beliefs.
But because of my own difficulty in living the life of a Christian I wonder, sometimes, if we really know what we should be doing in order to genuinely call ourselves Christians.
So, here are some things that I believe illustrate what are important if we want to actually claim the title:

It seems to me that you'll know you're a Christian when---

---You see everyone as your neighbor.
---You take your faith to work (and wherever you are)
---"Oh my God" is more than an exclamation of surprise.
---Prayer becomes a daily conversation with God.
---The light shinning in the darkness is you reflecting God's love.
---Lifting up others becomes a daily exercise.
---Your preaching is "wordless"
---"Come follow me" takes you in a different direction than the crowd.
---Compassion is actively lived.
---Your car knows the way to Church as much as to Walmart.
---Choosing forgiveness is more important than being righteous.
---Learning to love is your main goal in life.
---Jesus Christ is by far the biggest hero you know.
---Someone' s need is more important than your want.
---You accept people where they are.
---You take loving action toward anyone in need.
---etc.

Now the hard part is being consistent (ie. faithful)...

******************************
4/12/19

Jumping Over Quicksand

Seldom do we know when life is about to throw us yet another challenge. It creeps up and strikes so quickly that we only have time for the usual defensive rote reaction to a stressful situation. This is the reaction that slams the door on any pretense of gaining understanding or perspective on the situation.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself on a daily basis, and especially when we find ourselves in one of these situations. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego eliminating, like letting go of control and getting rid of self-absorption.
It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have power over our lives. Much of our time is spent in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, i.e., protection of our self-esteem, the need for control, trying to justify our very existence. If only we could instantly know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely are playing the control/power game.
But no matter what condition we find ourselves in, God’s call is always to learn to love...

++++++++++++++++++++++++

3/19

It’s snowing again, a gentle but steady snow. It’s the kind that makes you want to go into hibernation and slow down the pace of life.
It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation. When I say this it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace..
Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up.
Whatever the reason, it probably is worth it to try—in a simple way. Aim to give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace. Give no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life and living has more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…

In the Moment...

2/10/19

Hello again...
I'm one of those people who rarely get frustrated and feel irritable about something negative in my life such as breaking something or making a mess and having to clean it up. I usually just go ahead and fix the situation. But today, when I came on line to copy a blog that I had just written yesterday, I found it gone, floating somewhere in space, and I was left frustrated by what happened. But being the practical human that I am, I finally realized that what must have happened is that I forgot to post it. Arrrgh!!!...
So, what am I supposed to learn from this?
Well, I guess my words are not as important as they might seem, and the world will certainly continue on without them. Maybe losing something is a way of taking the ego down a notch by pointing
out what is not really important. So life goes on one moment at a time and living in the moment gives a chance to decide how to respond to frustrating situations, such as loss of our work. Every minute we have a choice...

2 Comments

Barb

5/6/2019 11:07:20 am

Agree!!! Well stated, Jeanne...!

Donna Kaufman

8/21/2021 01:38:37 pm

Love you writings and insight in the makeup of a human being/mind.

From My Perspective

In the Moment...

In the Moment...

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