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From My Perspective

"We always have the choice of bringing light or darkness to another person."
                                                            ---Jeanne

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Adulthood:  what you were never told...

6/1/2015

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     Why was I so anxious as a child to become an adult? 
Now that I am older I am finding this whole adult thing to be very difficult at times. You see, no one ever told this one time cocky adolescent, looking to own, achieve, and acquire the many aspects of adult life that someday I might actually lose them. No one warned me about how these terrible losses start to accelerate as I get older. No one ever said, “Hey wait a minute. Are you sure you really want this relationship, pet, car, house, status, job, etc.? Because someday you might lose them and it is going to hurt!”

            Sure, there are lots of courses and seminars out there on things like “How to Retire Rich” or “Parenting Skills 101” or “How to Acquire the House of Your Dreams,” and “Choosing the Right Pet,” etc. But I have yet to see a course entitled, “Adulthood: How to Make Difficult Decisions and Cope with Unplanned Change.”

 I mean, why can’t we learn ahead of time:
·       how to deal with the breakup of a long-term relationship, 
·       who to go to when the house starts to come apart, or when to do certain maintenance tasks
     on a car or home
·       how to handle downsizing or just office politics on the job,
·       the best way to help a friend or parent who is dying, or
·       how to make medical decisions for a very ill child or pet.

Couldn’t we somehow be warned that being an adult means:

·       you may someday: have great neighbors that will move away,
·       lose the job status that you worked so hard to achieve,
·       suffer the loss of a friend or family member to cancer,
·       have a child forget to call,
·       be ignored or patronized because of your age,
·       deal with all sorts of emergencies and know who to call and when?

I’m learning that these hard times can come awfully close together, almost as if someone has set a spiral in motion. I wonder if there will be a time when everything falls into place and I can just relax for a while without having to respond to another mini-crisis. (And then I feel guilty because I know that many other people are experiencing much greater tragedy and suffering.) Somehow it seemed to be so much easier when I was young enough to demonstrate youthful ignorance and have my lack of knowledge be expected.

But maybe the answer is simply to look once again at life through the eyes of a child---the eyes that experience life one moment at a time, see problems as adventures, and losses as lessons in hope, knowing that God is as close as a prayer. 


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