I wonder when it was that I ceased to walk and move with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago those who were wise in the way the world works didn’t yet take me seriously. 
It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have the power to function at our best. But in reality, just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel relaxed with explaining old insecurities and we can start to smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike one department at a time. And so we go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.            
Right between adulthood and old age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure--a time when, at least for part of a lifetime, we can sense that we are winning the struggle.

​ Just think about it...During that special extended period of ideal life we wouldn't have to worry about so many things that seem to throw us a curve at other times. We wouldn't worry, for example, about what other people think or about trying to impress anyone. We wouldn't be afraid to stand up for our rights as consumers, citizens, women, people with disabilities, people with racial, cultural or other differences.
If there were this extended time period in life when we felt in control, we could walk with our head held high and the rest of the body in perfect coordination. We could actually participate in all of the activities that the mind says are interesting and amusing.
And we wouldn’t have to live life on the defensive. There would be no need to blame others or try to change them. If we felt comfortable with ourselves for this extended period of time, we could allow others to be themselves…with no demands from us. Also, wouldn’t it be wonderful to not feel obligated to do something we really didn’t want to do? Just imagine feeling comfortable saying “No” at times when someone puts on the pressure instead of struggling to come up with an excuse.

Oh yes, there’s the fatigue aspect. We wouldn’t be nearly as tired because we wouldn’t be in that state of fight or flight all of the time. We would be happy simply being ourselves regardless of the behavior of others. If there were this period in life when we felt comfortable with ourselves, we could perform at our best, live our values and ideals, be good to ourselves and to others, and stop fighting a self-imposed system of constant disappointments.
But now that I think of it, whoever said we were supposed to fight our way through life? Perhaps maturity is really nothing more than learning how to flow…
 

                                 *************************************************************************************



​  Probably the hardest transition to make is the change that is necessary to become a better you. It takes a lot of courage to keep striving to be the real you, the best you possible, your authentic self.
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?
 
    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.
 
    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.
 
    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in silence, prayer, or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace.Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle lesson to learn.
 
 

​

*********************************************************************************************


Many people wonder how St.Teresa of Calcutta was able to consistently show so much love to each individual she met. In answer to this question she apparently said that she followed a "simple path". This is my adaptation of her answer written in the form of a prayer:

    God, your path is really a simple journey...
help us to understand that:
it is in silence where we will discover prayer;
it is in prayer that we will find faith;
 in faith we will know love;
and through love will come the willingness
to serve others...
and the result of service
is peace.

                                                                       Jeanne Adams

​
        
                         

   ********************************************************************




​I am often fond of saying that life is one long lesson in humility.

Well, recently I was once again reminded of this truth when I made a somewhat disparaging comment about my slight annoyance with someone’s behavior.

It wasn’t even like me to notice, much less make a comment. I thought (too easily) that I was a person who didn’t judge others. I’ve always agreed with and felt, like Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?” And I tend to be a person who doesn’t talk very much. Also, compassion is extremely high on my bucket list of virtues I would like to aspire to on a consistent basis.

The humility part comes from being totally wrong about my assessment of the situation based on insufficient information and my jumping to conclusions. And so, I learned that I have a much longer way to go when it comes to actually growing in faith and maturity.

​Peace,
Jeanne
 





                ********************************************************************************************************


​

 

​  Hi there...
I think you have probably heard this one but I'd like to share it just in case:

       I want to thank you, Lord, for being close to me so far
         this day. With your help, I haven't been impatient, 
                                                 lost my temper, been grumpy,  judgmental,
                                                                or envious of anyone.
                                                   But I will be getting out of bed in a minute
                                            and I think I will really need your help then.
                                                                                                                           -author unknown
          
                   I know this is meant to be humorous (and it is), but at this time of year, right before
   the various holidays, eg. Christmas, it can be a serious plea for help because of the frantic activity we place ourselves in. What we seem to forget is that everything we do is a choice and although we want to be a part of something wonderful, often the commercial chaos overwhelms us and creates a great deal of pressure and stress.
 Here are a few suggestions that research has found to be effective at reducing stress:

                  ---spend a few minutes each day, or several times a day, and place yourself
  in quiet...with no demands on yourself---even if the bathroom is seemingly the only place
    to find  quiet. 
                  ---walk outside in a city park or nature area and breathe slowly and deeply.
                  ---concentrate on the reason for the season--where real peace can be found. 
                  ---try to fully experience togetherness, church services, special food treats,
  presents---or at least the intention, decorations, etc.
                  ---take time to be kind.
                  ---pray for others who have less than you or are lonely, confused, hungry or in pain.

    I could go on but I think you get the idea. Put your life into perspective,.. but know that you may
still need God's help...
                  
                         

                                            

                                           **************************************************************************

​
  The following interesting thoughts are from another unknown writer. I've adapted a few.
     See if you agree:
                     
                      I've learned...
             that the best classroom 
           in the world is at the feet of an
            elderly person.

                   I've learned...
     that having an infant fall asleep in your arms
  is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

                                                        I've learned...
                                       that being kind is more important
                                                       than being right.

                                I've learned...
       that no matter how serious your life 
  requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
      to act goofy with.

                                              I've learned...
​                     that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

                                                              I've learned...
                that life is like a roll of toilet paper.The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

                                         I've learned...
     that sometimes all a person needs
        is a hand to hold and a listening heart to understand.

                                                                                       author unknown
    and I've personally learned...
       that everything other than love
                    is just clutter and fluff.

    Peace,
 Jeanne  

                    *************************************************************************************************





​11/18/19
​
             “But if I choose life, what would I do with it?”
 
The above question was asked of me by a very lonely and depressed woman on a hospital psychiatric unit.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way about living.
I wonder what became of the happiness skills we had as children---the ability to be spontaneous and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation, a sense of discovery and awe. Why do so many adults simply give up on life, sit back and wait for happiness to happen someday?
How much happiness do you, in a sense, give up? Have you lost contact with the joys of living?

Try a simple exercise:

IMAGINE AN IDEAL DAY… If you could do anything you wanted all day, how would you spend your time? Write down  10 favorite activities that you see yourself doing on this ideal day, and then ask yourself:  How many of these activities do I do in an average week? How much time do I spend on each activity?
Am I selecting happy times for me? Am I doing what is really important to me?
 And if you choose life do you know what to do with it?
 

                                          *********************************************************************

 12/20/18 
​

Something a little bit different to remind us in the middle of all the commercial hype why there was a special baby born on Christmas day, who is still teaching us to care...

 To the One-Legged Homeless Woman
             in the Pouring Rain

                                                                                                                                        Teddy Macker

                                                             When I passed you on my way home
                                                       I didn't think about you
                                                       nor feel a hairs breath of sympathy.

                                                      I was talking about someone at work,
                                                      how sh'd pissed me off in an e-mail.
                                                      "She's so curt," I think I said.

                                                      It wasn't untill hours later
                                                      while looking at the sky,
                                                      a sky whose size unsteadied me,
                                                      that I started thinking of you,
                                                     you and others like you,
                                                     all the human beings on this planet
                                                     suffering simultaneously,
                                                     the hundreds, thousands, millions...
                                                     How incomprehensible, I thought,
                                                     standing there on my covered porch

                                                     while you stood on one leg
                                                     on a traffic median,
                                                     hungry and homeless
                                                     in a ruined side of Baltimore
                                                     in the pouring rain.


​                 *******************************************************************************************

​
The 10th Fact of Life that can make you a happier person is:

                   Help is only a prayer away...

Even if you are not religious, you can find comfort and perspective in the above statement. Research has shown that people who attend church on a regular basis are to a certain extent happier then those who do not. Although God already knows what is happening in you life, there can be an increase in personal peace through prayer. Try it...

I hope these areas of life that I have presented over the weeks have helped in some way.
May peace be with you...Jeanne

                                                  ***************************************************




​ Ok., the ninth fact of life that can make you a better and happy
  person is:

                 Knowing that love is an action

It is very easy to tell someone we love them. People do it all the time in a superficial and offhand way when the phrase is used as a Goodbye or as a lighthearted remark such as "Love you guys..." But real, genuine love is a verb in that there is always a way of showing love in addition to simply saying the phrase, "I love you..." To love someone is to wish and to do good for the person. It is a choice that is made to help someone grow as an individual. When love involves mostly or only feelings it is probably an infatuation.



                                                                       ***************************

​The 6th fact of life that will make you a happier person is,

       Realizing that forgiveness means letting go of pain.

We are all hurt at sometime in our lives, usually by someone we think we love or by a situation that involves unfairness of some kind. Often, if we dwell on it, we can become stuck in a very unhappy life. To forgive is to help remove the pain and begin to live again. It may take some time, but forgiving is
 almost always the best choice.


​                                                                     **********************************************

              **********************************************************


​
 Ok, the second fact of life that can make you a happier person is one of the hardest for many people to acknowledge, so take note and think about it. There is freedom behind the following statement: 

             You are not responsible for anyone else's thoughts,
                              feelings, or behaviors.

  So many people hang on to unnecessary guilt because they feel responsible for a loved one's poor choices. They think, "If only I had..." or "If I were good enough this wouldn't have happened..." You cannot change another person.You can only support and be an example for them. When you are able to understand and accept this fact, you will be free to care at a higher level.
 ---Jeanne




                                                                 *******************************************************

​
Would you go with me on another series that looks at life from a different angle?

It is from 10 facts of life that can make you a happier person. I'll try to explain a little about each one, but what they mean to you is more important....

Ok, this is the first one:  You really are unique in all the world. There will never be a person exactly like you again. No one will ever have the same physical features that you have. No one will ever look at life in the same way that you do. No one will ever have the exact same values that you do.
No one will ever have the potential for seeing, doing, and being the best you.

           Never underestimate what you can do to make the world a better place.
                                                                                                            author unknown

        Think about it...


                    *******************











​Don't know if I shared this with you, but you might enjoy seeing it...

The Symptoms of Inner Peace:

---an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
---a loss of interest in judging self or others ---frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
---losing the ability to worry
​ ---contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
              ---increased mindfulness and ability to live in the now
                                                     ---loss of interest in conflict
           ---increased ability and desire to be kind and loving



*******************************************************​

​Last question:  Please think about this seriously because it refers to the amount of personal control available to you whether you realize it or not. 

---How do I create most of my own unhappiness and disappointments in life?

Often, we self sabotage our happiness by placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves or on others. We are then disappointed when things do not work out the way we expected.

Possible action:  Consider what might happen if you stopped expecting others to read your mind, to know what you might want, to fulfill needs that you can do for yourself, etc. Consider what it would take for you to be responsible for your own happiness because you really are responsible.

Hope these 10 questions have helped create some insights for you. Please remember that the only time is now. Don't miss it...

​*********************************************************************

Week 8

​Only a few more insight questions to go. I hope at least one or two has given you a better understanding of part of life. Of course, in a real counseling session there can be many more depending on what is going on with each of us. 

So, here is question 8:

    Over what do I really have control in a particular situation that is bothering me?
   
     We can expend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things when, in reality, we have no control over them. This has a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life in a positive way.
Possible action:  Ask yourself, “Am I responsible for anything in this situation?” If yes, do your best to solve, to help, etc. If no, let go and trust in God’s providence.




                                                        ************************************************************

​​
Week 7

---What do I most need to learn in my life right now?

We all have learning needs at various points in life. New learning can help keep us alive and growing. However, we need to trust in God’s love in order to be open to making positive changes based on what insights we might gain.

 What particular situation might be teaching you that can be useful down the road. What positive insights can I gain from an otherwise difficult experience?


           *********************************************************************************************8

Week 6

​How is it going so far? Are you starting to get a better perspective on life? 

​Have you ever given yourself “peace time,” filled with no demands?  Have you ever carefully eliminated all the things you should have done or had to do and replaced them only with what you wanted to do?  It’s amazing how much can be accomplished by trying not to accomplish anything.  It can feel a little like a grazing horse in a pasture as you smoothly flow from one experience to another, gently chomping off small shoots of fresh living. 
 Once all of the pressure of striving to finish something is removed, it is much easier to take things one-step at a time. Instead of procrastinating and consequently getting little accomplished, you can be able to simply flow smoothly from one adventure to another. And looking at the day this way can allow you to live in the present, moment by moment. Somehow awareness of good things is amplified when you do this, and you may discover that you have been tripping over happiness in your rush to find the perfect life.

Week 6 Question:---Where in my daily life do I find the greatest sense of peace?
Possible action:  Go there…more often! 




***************************************************************************************



Week # 5
---#5   For which of God’s gifts am I most grateful?

   So many things in daily life seem important but are not. In one of my books I refer to them as the 'urgent unnecessary'. For example, we might think that attending a particular party or meeting or social event is vital to our life at the moment, but what is really needed might be time spent with another individual or alone.

By asking this question we are forced to look at what is most important in our lives. This is essential for putting things into perspective and out of this order peace will come. Also, gratitude is vital for true inner peace.

​                                                          ***********************************************************

Week #4
How are you doing so far? If you are seriously considering the questions, then they may be helping you to grow in your relationships and personal understanding. Following is the fourth question:

#4--What is my hidden expectation in a particular situation or relationship?
Many times we allow others to unintentionally hurt us by having unexpressed or unrealistic expectations of them that they are unaware of or unable to fulfill.

Possible action:  Next time let someone know what you want or need directly. Realize that as much as someone may love you, no one can read you mind or your heart. 
                                                                             

                                                        *****************************************************
                                                                                   

                     OK, this week we have question #3 of our free "therapy" questions. I hope you are seriously       considering these...

---#3  Of what am I really afraid?

Many times when we are angry, upset, or indecisive, it is because of some hidden fear:  e.g. the fear of losing something or someone.

Possible actions:  Next time you are experiencing negative feelings, look at what is happening in the situation or relationship. Remind yourself that the phrase “Be not afraid” is expressed 365 times in the Bible.

                                                                        *************************

Below is question #2 in my series of how to feel better and find the happiness that is hidden in plain sight in your life. Together these are the "therapy" questions designed to help put your life in perspective:

---#2  When was the last time I really enjoyed myself?
​
When we haven’t been taking care of ourselves we can begin to lose touch with positive feelings. It is important to know what we find enjoyable and fun.
Possible action:  Picture the last time you were totally absorbed in an enjoyable activity.  What did it feel like? Promise to do something good for yourself today. 


                                                                                ************************************************

​

     Due to a medical emergency and subsequent surgeries, I have been unable to update my website and blog.

​    Hopefully, I am on the mend but it is going to take awhile to find "me" again. I never dreamed that I would be out of commission for this length of time. Please keep me in your prayers and check back. Thanks for your patience...Jeanne

 
   Many children remember being sent to the corner or to their room to experience quiet time in order to, hopefully, make different choices about their erratic and unacceptable behavior.
   As adults, sometimes we desperately need a timeout from life in order to make better choices. We need to get in the habit of stepping aside, standing back, slowing down, and listening within. That is how we can discover if we are living with integrity.
   I wonder what would result if each of us could have a quiet room in our homes for spending time alone at least once a day in order to diffuse our stressed filled lives. Sitting in silence for awhile can be one of the best ways to find peace within ourselves.

   They say that God speaks to us in the quiet of our hearts and the finest prayer is one where we simply listen without asking for anything.

   How about taking time out each day to just be? You might discover peace…

                                                                                                                  ©Jeanne Adams

  The leaves outside my window look tired. They have given up fighting with the
wind, heat, sudden cold, and other types of over stimulation.

  I am tired also...I am so tired of the chaos and degrading insults to the American public that have been hoisted upon us in the name of politics. No, it really hasn't been politics as usual, but that doesn't make it a good thing.

  And when I listen to the media, I wonder, once again why they persist in promoting and in many cases glorifying negativity and hate. Much of what is presented is just wrong and some is "much ado about nothing." Meanwhile, politics and the creative use of consistent lies and projection onto the other candidate become the new norm. And other serious issues that should be dealt with, (e.g, the rights of Native Americans vs. corporate power), are ignored.

   I can see how those seeking power can win...because we, the real silent majority, remain silent.
I think we are tired--just like those leaves outside my window. But I hope you are not too tired to VOTE, even if you feel it is the lesser of two evils.
         "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to remain silent."

 ​May you be at peace in your heart...
Jeanne
                                                                                                                

​     Recently I’ve been wondering how so many people connected with a seemingly high level of spiritual development can be blind to things and to people who are so obviously the opposite.
     I scroll through places like Facebook and feel as if we are losing all that is positive. Everyone seems to be looking for and expecting signs of disrespect. The political environment has become a serious version of “I’m okay because I declare that you’re not.” We are not stupid people, but we act like it when we function at and accept such low levels of moral development as if this is the way to be now.
    Why are many of us so insecure? Why is the media fixated on glorifying negativity? And why are we letting any type of evil transpire?
    It is so frightening and frustrating to realize that there is immeasurable beauty and goodness in the world, but many people are choosing to accept destructive, degrading, and demoralizing messages, behavior, etc.
 
    I hope that someday soon we will base our choices on things like equality of human rights, respect for others, justice for all, etc., because that is the higher level of moral development that will bring us gratitude and happiness. And that is the only way to
true personal power.
 
   

 
    I’m sitting here looking at one of my favorite gifts. It is a pewter statue of a mare and colt. The mare seems to be saying to the newborn colt, “Ok, it’s time for you to get up and try to walk. But remember, when you do, you are committed for life.”
 
    The mare seems to be giving this wisdom in a gentle way and the colt is listening intently. The title in the front of the statue is “Love is gentle.”
 
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?
 
    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.
 
    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.
 
    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in prayer or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace. Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle.
    

  
    Have you ever noticed how much can be accomplished in your head before getting up in the morning? It seems to be an easy time when I can create and cross off a myriad of items on a mental “To Do” list.
    I feel like someone with boundless energy and rock hard resolve as I imagine myself doing leaps and bounds of positive productivity during the upcoming day.
    It can be a time of hope and promise… Or it can be the last thing I complete.
     I guess there can be many reasons for this. Maybe hope is somehow connected with energy level and as energy fades during the day so does hope. Maybe the element of procrastination sets in and little is actually accomplished.
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    But wait…Maybe I could turn it into one of my putter days. One of the best ways I know to really accomplish more than I think I can is to putter or graze like a horse.
    When I putter, I gradually go from one minor thing to another and complete a small organizational task that has been delayed and frequently forgotten and then remembered time and again. These somehow serve as little mini-stresses that are left in the back of my mind.
    The freedom of a putter day is wonderful because there are no explicit demands. And after grazing through my day, it seems that all of the mini-bonfires of stress have been doused with cool, refreshing water and I am free to breathe.
    Problems are seen as challenges; beauty is recognized along the way; tension is reduced; it’s time to relax…