Only One Thing…
 

    Do you remember being a child and having the ability to be spontaneous
and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation? I can only speculate why so many adults simply give up on life when it comes to happiness, sit back and wait for happiness to suddenly occur--someday.
 
  Many individuals have an unhealthy negative attitude that says I cannot change the world alone because I’m not strong enough or powerful enough to make any change.  (I can understand that negative outlook with the way the world is today.)
 
But that’s not really true. Being able to have an impact in the world happens all the time. Everything you do and say, every choice you make changes the world. And the choices you make are where much of your power is. Where do you make your choices? In your mind.
 
                 Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness
                 in our lives:  where we focus our attention.
                                                                                                   ---Greg Anderson
 
 
So, if you choose to be honest, empathetic, respectful of everyone, choose positive possibilities, and choose to spend quiet time listening to the voice within, you could make wonderful changes in the world.
Choose well…
 
 
 
 
​
         
                             

                                               *************************************************************************************************************
 6/5/2020
​
                                                                         Freedom from Stress

         I’ll never stop being in awe of nature. Not necessarily with its' beauty, but also the remarkable ability to organize itself according to the seasons. It seems like it was only two weeks ago when the branches outside my office window were empty, dry, and completely dead. And I sat here contemplating who I could get to remove this dead fifteen-foot bush that covers this end of the house.

Last year the bush gave me numerous peaceful moments of God’s artistry. Birds were always in competition, jumping among the thick green branches, canvassing the area for potential nesting possibilities.

And the bush is back with a wonderful sense of privacy and inclusion of whatever written drama I wish to proclaim, in my blog, my books, or elsewhere. There is something about being close to nature that brings me closer to myself. The natural world never ceases to bring out the positive that general humanity has difficulty retaining. It regularly takes turns showcasing beauty in an organized pattern of quiet expression. Each tree branch, flower, flowering bush, and petal is slowly shifted with grace when a slight breeze comes through the area.

​Natural scenery is a large part of the good stuff in life--what we often miss when we spend time with the unimportant, superficial, or mundane. It has become well-known that being in nature has been proven to remove the stress of life. It allows us to be good in our thoughts—the beginning of goodness in our actions.

It seems to me that nature is another blessing that moves us to seek the higher ground, to attempt to come closer to the best that is within us. And that can make all the difference...

                                       



                                 ********************************************************************************************



5/16/20

                                         Who’s In Control Here?
            There she was, complaining to anyone who would listen, answering each question of sympathy with still another blast of indignation. She even interrupted other conversations with her soapbox oratory. I mean it was embarrassing. Each time I would ask her to be quiet she would announce another terrible abuse, making it clear that I was the real cause of all her troubles.
            The quivering canine in the corner sat in silence, playing a proper patient role. His Mom didn’t feel like she was at the center of chaos in this little corner of the world. She could look on with no responsibility at all and quietly be amused. And so smug…
            Well, at least we were taken to a patient room quickly. They must have finally gotten this office organized. But did the verbal assault stop there? No way! Despite the lack of audience, my little feline friend kept steadily reminding me that this type of visit would not be tolerated today or in the future. After all, the place looked scary, smelled scary, had bad memories, and—oh yes, it was frequented by dogs. No, this was definitely a big mistake on someone’s part. I sighed, as I knew, once again, who was at fault.
            “But it won’t be much longer and you like Dr. Tom.”  (Isn’t it ridiculous what we say to try and soothe our furry “kids”?)
“Well, here’s the doctor now…”
SILENCE!
Complete and total quiet. Only a small head stuck under the crook of my arm. “She thinks she’s hiding, Doctor.”
            Up she comes with a look that says, “I’m gonna get you for this. Just so he doesn’t stick that thermometer up my bu…but he’s doing it! Now you’re going to see a pout lady, like you’ve never seen before. Wait until we get home. I’ll never sit on your lap again.” Still, all is communicated in absolute silence. Oh, the power of a man with a white coat and letters after his name.
            Finally, the ordeal is over and I hear Dr. nice guy pat her on the head and say,
“Well kitty, I think you deserve an A for good behavior.” (WHAT! Didn’t you hear her Doc? She screamed the whole way over here. I had to explain my way out of confrontations with a police cruiser, an animal shelter truck, and three male strays looking for some action. I couldn’t keep her quiet. She was driving me crazy…)
            “By the way, Doctor, what do you think has been causing this problem since you say she is physically okay?”
“Stress.”
“Stress?!?”  Great. She lives with a therapist.
“Meow”

********************************************************************************************




5/8/2020
 Since Mother's day is Sunday, I would like to share something
I wrote as a gift for Moms:​ 
 In honor of all Mothers I want to say thank you:
  
 for not only taking care of our scraped knees, but also for:
-comforting our bruised ego
-cleaning up after us
-letting us choose when you knew there was a better way
-staying up until we got home safely
-reminding us of what is important in life
-being such a good role model
-listening to our dreams (and nightmares)
-being the best cook in all the world
-designing all those costumes
-comforting us when we were sick
-looking the other way when we made a simple mistake 
-covering up our social bloopers
-assuming our intentions were better than they were
-driving friends to countless activities
-covering us with a blanket when we fell asleep in a chair
-knowing just what we wanted for Christmas without asking
-putting up with all of our complaining
-listening to us even when you were tired
-for all of the hugs
-teaching us to care about others in need
-showing us how to be kind
-being patient with us during our anxiety-driven teen years
-asking our opinion when we were too young to know much
-always reminding us that you loved us
-giving us part of your piece of cake or pie because you knew we liked it
-teaching us to forgive others
-being calm when we needed a safe place
-letting us learn the musical instrument we wanted to play
rather than your favorite one
-holding us accountable for our actions while supporting us at the same time
-praying for us…always.

and especially,
for knowing that we love you… even though we haven’t said it often enough.

*********

(The above is a picture of my mother who raised ten children. I was one of the lucky ones.)
Have a wonderful weekend
Jeanne

************************************************************************************

5/2/2020
​
 Please Pause...
It is sunny out today, one of the few days with anything other than another cloudy day. Strange how much the weather can have an impact on how we feel. Sunshine always seems to make us feel better. It can wake us up to a better day and give us a brighter view of the world. Somehow, on sunny days we have the energy and attitude to do more, be more, and love more. When someone says, “Have a good day…” it almost seems possible. Chronic pain is a little less and hope a little brighter..

   I can’t help but wonder why we wait for sunny days in order to live more. What would happen if we could bring peace home by being at peace? What if we gave ourselves a small chance each day to just be in a temporary silent world? What if, no matter what the weather is, we would, for a few minutes, be silent and listen to the soft sounds of God’s voice within?
I have always been an advocate of the importance of "no demand" time. This is that rare but chosen time to be free of any expectations from others. It is silence in the chaos of life and rest for the weary. It is time where you can be reminded of what is important in life to you…a time to be real, authentic, and calm. It is a pause in a whirl-wind of constant expectations and other assignments and appointments you might have agreed to and placed yourself in--a pause from the hectic schedule of constant have to dos.(And, yes, they will return.)  

It is always amazing how refreshing daily life can become with only a few minutes each day of no demand time…of personal silence in the form of mindfulness, meditation, or listening to God. Are you willing to pause?

Be good to yourself...
​Jeanne

************************************************************************


​  
 Strawberries were too delicate to be picked by machine. The perfectly ripe ones bruised at even too heavy a human touch. It hit her then that every strawberry she had ever eaten—every piece of fruit—had been picked by calloused human hands. Every piece of toast with jelly represented someone’s knees, someone’s aching back and hips, someone with a bandanna on her wrist to wipe away the sweat. Why had no one told (me) about this before?
                                                                         Alison Luterman, What We Came For
   This brief passage from a book reminds me of the first thing necessary for genuine maturity and spiritual growth. Many of us lack compassion because we are not aware—or we may be aware of others but have put this awareness back in the "for reference" section of our minds. This is where it can easily be forgotten but can be brought to attention if some tragic experience occurs. We can feel the hurt or abuse of someone at that time. But that is usually temporary. Why does it take so long to learn compassion which goes beyond sympathy and empathy? Compassion has these also but includes some form of positive action.
A pastor once said that
                          Religion’s bottom line is loving action on
                               behalf of anyone in need of my presence. 
                                                                                          Fr. Joseph Fata
 
There has been a lot of talk about heroes recently—those who have taken action
on behalf of society. Yes, they are heroes. And we can be also. I wonder what would happen if each one of us would live our lives with compassion on a daily basis. Wouldn’t that create many more heroes? It doesn’t take that much to do: a smile, a silent prayer, an acknowledgement of someone’s pain, a question that asks what you can do to help, etc. Mother Teresa has said we need to do small things with great love.
 
And that leads me to my favorite quote by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:

                                     Teach only love. The only time is now.


Peace be with you...
​Jeanne

                  ********************************************************************************************************

​ ​
Since it is Good Friday for Christian Faiths and Passover for the Jewish Faith, I'm going to share something I wrote that is a reminder of what we are here for. The prayer itself is in bold and the other writing is an attempt at explaining...

​

                          Heavenly Father, life is your gift to us…
Have you considered what special gifts God has given to your life? Have you shown your gratitude for them? Do you realize how gifted you are even though you might be struggling with obstacles in your life right now?

                       You call us to share our lives in service to others…
Service begins with awareness of others’ needs. Compassion follows when we see everyone as children of God, and can be aware without any form of judgment. It is taking positive action for the sake of someone in need. Is compassion one of your ongoing ways of interacting with others?
   
 Guide us as we choose each day to show your presence to all those we meet…
To live our Christian faith daily, we really do need to make a constant choice. We may want to show love to others, but it is very hard to be consistent, especially with those who do not love us in return or are strangers who are unlike us. Realize that we can always make a better choice.

                Give us the courage to do whatever we can with whatever we have…
Although we can’t rid the world of poverty, pain, and political greed, there often is something we can do that will be a light in the darkness. And if we look, there is invariably someone around us who is in need of our sharing…even just a smile. Do you feel that you are doing whatever you can?
             
                      to bring your love to our community and the world…
Even though sometimes it may seem like being alone with no responsibilities would be ideal, part of our humanity is communal. We bring God’s love to others by the way we act towards them. We do this with kindness, humility, understanding, and sincerity.
             And the only time is now…

Wishing you a Blessed Easter...
​Jeanne

              *******************************************************************************************

​
​
Hi, 
For many of us, being at home continuously can be boring, and the present situation frightening. The following essay is a way to try and put things into perspective...
                         

                                    Life Insights
​
As we get older, what causes us to seek something more meaningful than the accumulation of stuff? And by stuff, I mean that almost daily collection of material items, social recognitions, elements of control, judgments, fears, disappointments, awards, money, etc.

Sometimes it seems that we have wasted energy on things like what people will think, how right and successful we are, and how far we have come financially and socially. And now they seem like such useless entities. All the interpersonal slights, anger, frustrations, and failures etc., suddenly seem to be pointless time wasters. And we are left wondering why we worried and put ourselves under stress.

Is the wisdom that supposedly comes with age an automatic oozing of common sense that tells us enough is enough? When will it be time to feel at peace? But one of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego killing and getting rid of self-absorption. It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have control over our lives. Much of our time, we are in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, trying to justify our very existence.
 
If only we could know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely have and are playing the control game and are lacking in self-esteem.

It is always helpful to sit back and think of all the good things in your life with a sense of gratitude. We can leave all that negative stuff alone and decide to have a positive perspective on life now and know that it begins with kindness…

Be at peace,
Jeanne

​
PS:  My latest e-book, Just Be...and Peace will Follow, is online and published by Brighton Publishing, LLC.  It is a gift book for someone you may know or love. Check it out...

​                                                       


 

  





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​Hi...
The picture of daises is a symbolic gift reminding you that Spring will not be cancelled. If you feel stuck with no place to go, this might be a good time to explore some quiet space. (It will help you deal with all the negative changes in our lives right now.)

                              Silent places allow us to breathe deeply, to take in
                         little messages of self-respect from our inner selves.
                              They give us the gentle space to feel the basic
                              spiritual themes that will put us back on the path
                                        when we are lost.
                                                                                                   Robert J. Wicks

                          Have you ever tried sitting in a quiet space with a lit candle and no 
          other distractions? If not, try doing that (with or without the candle) and simply enjoy the quiet. Many people will use the time listening to the soft voice of God in prayer. But even without that, being in the quiet with no demands on you can do wonders. It helps put things in perspective and allows you to make easier decisions afterwards. It can be a place for hope---something that is desperately needed at this time of the Pandemic. And it can help remove some of the stress and panic that many people feel. 
Hope you try it...
Jeanne

 
 

                             **************************************************************************


​March sixth and we are all hopeful for Spring. Maybe the birds outshine us in hopefulness. They seem to be scampering, a strange movement for most birds. I see them as floating, gliding, foraging, flying, etc. but I usually don’t see them as scampering.There is lightness in their movements—almost as if they are saying, “Let’s get on with it, isn’t Spring here yet?” Or maybe that’s what I am saying. Of course, birds are anxious to get their families started. Who wouldn’t look forward to infants in the house?
However, right now the birds outside my window and I are stuck in a cold, rainy weather pattern that has been with us all winter. And when it hasn’t been raining it has been cloudy. The weather seems to reflect the state of society--not a pretty picture…
But the birds are happy and maybe that is a better sign of faith. Unlike us, maybe they listen to God’s silent messages of hope. Maybe they are able to live in the present and look forward to the future knowing that God is always with them. After all, they do go about trusting that this or that will occur when needed, and there are always brothers and sisters to play with. But the birds are happy living in the now, always being aware of what is going on around them, careful not to miss the good things in life.
How about you and I? Do you think we could we do that?

*********************************************************************************


​
  Following is a quote I came across a long time ago. Definitely something
to think about... 

              It can happen again.
To the Jews, the Blacks, the Hispanics, or any other identifiable group that an apathetic public is willing to let be abused.
All it takes is the coming together of even a small number of people who require a scapegoat
to explain away their own insecurities, lack of abilities,
                                    or low self-esteem,
                                        and you have the environment for creating another Hitler.
                                   
                                                                                                                                               Simon P. Sloan                                                                                                                                                 An Isolated Incident     



​
                                               ***********************************************************************

 I wonder when it was that I ceased to walk and move with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago those who were wise in the way the world works didn’t yet take me seriously. 
It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have the power to function at our best. But in reality, just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel relaxed with explaining old insecurities and we can start to smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike one department at a time. And so we go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.            
Right between adulthood and old age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure--a time when, at least for part of a lifetime, we can sense that we are winning the struggle.

​ Just think about it...During that special extended period of ideal life we wouldn't have to worry about so many things that seem to throw us a curve at other times. We wouldn't worry, for example, about what other people think or about trying to impress anyone. We wouldn't be afraid to stand up for our rights as consumers, citizens, women, people with disabilities, people with racial, cultural or other differences.
If there were this extended time period in life when we felt in control, we could walk with our head held high and the rest of the body in perfect coordination. We could actually participate in all of the activities that the mind says are interesting and amusing.
And we wouldn’t have to live life on the defensive. There would be no need to blame others or try to change them. If we felt comfortable with ourselves for this extended period of time, we could allow others to be themselves…with no demands from us. Also, wouldn’t it be wonderful to not feel obligated to do something we really didn’t want to do? Just imagine feeling comfortable saying “No” at times when someone puts on the pressure instead of struggling to come up with an excuse.

Oh yes, there’s the fatigue aspect. We wouldn’t be nearly as tired because we wouldn’t be in that state of fight or flight all of the time. We would be happy simply being ourselves regardless of the behavior of others. If there were this period in life when we felt comfortable with ourselves, we could perform at our best, live our values and ideals, be good to ourselves and to others, and stop fighting a self-imposed system of constant disappointments.
But now that I think of it, whoever said we were supposed to fight our way through life? Perhaps maturity is really nothing more than learning how to flow…
 

                                 *************************************************************************************



​  Probably the hardest transition to make is the change that is necessary to become a better you. It takes a lot of courage to keep striving to be the real you, the best you possible, your authentic self.
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?
 
    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.
 
    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.
 
    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in silence, prayer, or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace.Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle lesson to learn.
 
 

​

*********************************************************************************************


Many people wonder how St.Teresa of Calcutta was able to consistently show so much love to each individual she met. In answer to this question she apparently said that she followed a "simple path". This is my adaptation of her answer written in the form of a prayer:

    God, your path is really a simple journey...
help us to understand that:
it is in silence where we will discover prayer;
it is in prayer that we will find faith;
 in faith we will know love;
and through love will come the willingness
to serve others...
and the result of service
is peace.

                                                                       Jeanne Adams

​
        
                         

   ********************************************************************




​I am often fond of saying that life is one long lesson in humility.

Well, recently I was once again reminded of this truth when I made a somewhat disparaging comment about my slight annoyance with someone’s behavior.

It wasn’t even like me to notice, much less make a comment. I thought (too easily) that I was a person who didn’t judge others. I’ve always agreed with and felt, like Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?” And I tend to be a person who doesn’t talk very much. Also, compassion is extremely high on my bucket list of virtues I would like to aspire to on a consistent basis.

The humility part comes from being totally wrong about my assessment of the situation based on insufficient information and my jumping to conclusions. And so, I learned that I have a much longer way to go when it comes to actually growing in faith and maturity.

​Peace,
Jeanne
 





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​

 

​  Hi there...
I think you have probably heard this one but I'd like to share it just in case:

       I want to thank you, Lord, for being close to me so far
         this day. With your help, I haven't been impatient, 
                                                 lost my temper, been grumpy,  judgmental,
                                                                or envious of anyone.
                                                   But I will be getting out of bed in a minute
                                            and I think I will really need your help then.
                                                                                                                           -author unknown
          
                   I know this is meant to be humorous (and it is), but at this time of year, right before
   the various holidays, eg. Christmas, it can be a serious plea for help because of the frantic activity we place ourselves in. What we seem to forget is that everything we do is a choice and although we want to be a part of something wonderful, often the commercial chaos overwhelms us and creates a great deal of pressure and stress.
 Here are a few suggestions that research has found to be effective at reducing stress:

                  ---spend a few minutes each day, or several times a day, and place yourself
  in quiet...with no demands on yourself---even if the bathroom is seemingly the only place
    to find  quiet. 
                  ---walk outside in a city park or nature area and breathe slowly and deeply.
                  ---concentrate on the reason for the season--where real peace can be found. 
                  ---try to fully experience togetherness, church services, special food treats,
  presents---or at least the intention, decorations, etc.
                  ---take time to be kind.
                  ---pray for others who have less than you or are lonely, confused, hungry or in pain.

    I could go on but I think you get the idea. Put your life into perspective,.. but know that you may
still need God's help...
                  
                         

                                            

                                           **************************************************************************

​
  The following interesting thoughts are from another unknown writer. I've adapted a few.
     See if you agree:
                     
                      I've learned...
             that the best classroom 
           in the world is at the feet of an
            elderly person.

                   I've learned...
     that having an infant fall asleep in your arms
  is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

                                                        I've learned...
                                       that being kind is more important
                                                       than being right.

                                I've learned...
       that no matter how serious your life 
  requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
      to act goofy with.

                                              I've learned...
​                     that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

                                                              I've learned...
                that life is like a roll of toilet paper.The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

                                         I've learned...
     that sometimes all a person needs
        is a hand to hold and a listening heart to understand.

                                                                                       author unknown
    and I've personally learned...
       that everything other than love
                    is just clutter and fluff.

    Peace,
 Jeanne  

                    *************************************************************************************************





​11/18/19
​
             “But if I choose life, what would I do with it?”
 
The above question was asked of me by a very lonely and depressed woman on a hospital psychiatric unit.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way about living.
I wonder what became of the happiness skills we had as children---the ability to be spontaneous and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation, a sense of discovery and awe. Why do so many adults simply give up on life, sit back and wait for happiness to happen someday?
How much happiness do you, in a sense, give up? Have you lost contact with the joys of living?

Try a simple exercise:

IMAGINE AN IDEAL DAY… If you could do anything you wanted all day, how would you spend your time? Write down  10 favorite activities that you see yourself doing on this ideal day, and then ask yourself:  How many of these activities do I do in an average week? How much time do I spend on each activity?
Am I selecting happy times for me? Am I doing what is really important to me?
 And if you choose life do you know what to do with it?
 

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 12/20/18 
​

Something a little bit different to remind us in the middle of all the commercial hype why there was a special baby born on Christmas day, who is still teaching us to care...

 To the One-Legged Homeless Woman
             in the Pouring Rain

                                                                                                                                        Teddy Macker

                                                             When I passed you on my way home
                                                       I didn't think about you
                                                       nor feel a hairs breath of sympathy.

                                                      I was talking about someone at work,
                                                      how sh'd pissed me off in an e-mail.
                                                      "She's so curt," I think I said.

                                                      It wasn't untill hours later
                                                      while looking at the sky,
                                                      a sky whose size unsteadied me,
                                                      that I started thinking of you,
                                                     you and others like you,
                                                     all the human beings on this planet
                                                     suffering simultaneously,
                                                     the hundreds, thousands, millions...
                                                     How incomprehensible, I thought,
                                                     standing there on my covered porch

                                                     while you stood on one leg
                                                     on a traffic median,
                                                     hungry and homeless
                                                     in a ruined side of Baltimore
                                                     in the pouring rain.


​                 *******************************************************************************************

​
The 10th Fact of Life that can make you a happier person is:

                   Help is only a prayer away...

Even if you are not religious, you can find comfort and perspective in the above statement. Research has shown that people who attend church on a regular basis are to a certain extent happier then those who do not. Although God already knows what is happening in you life, there can be an increase in personal peace through prayer. Try it...

I hope these areas of life that I have presented over the weeks have helped in some way.
May peace be with you...Jeanne

                                                  ***************************************************




​ Ok., the ninth fact of life that can make you a better and happy
  person is:

                 Knowing that love is an action

It is very easy to tell someone we love them. People do it all the time in a superficial and offhand way when the phrase is used as a Goodbye or as a lighthearted remark such as "Love you guys..." But real, genuine love is a verb in that there is always a way of showing love in addition to simply saying the phrase, "I love you..." To love someone is to wish and to do good for the person. It is a choice that is made to help someone grow as an individual. When love involves mostly or only feelings it is probably an infatuation.



                                                                       ***************************

​The 6th fact of life that will make you a happier person is,

       Realizing that forgiveness means letting go of pain.

We are all hurt at sometime in our lives, usually by someone we think we love or by a situation that involves unfairness of some kind. Often, if we dwell on it, we can become stuck in a very unhappy life. To forgive is to help remove the pain and begin to live again. It may take some time, but forgiving is
 almost always the best choice.


​                                                                     **********************************************

              **********************************************************


​
 Ok, the second fact of life that can make you a happier person is one of the hardest for many people to acknowledge, so take note and think about it. There is freedom behind the following statement: 

             You are not responsible for anyone else's thoughts,
                              feelings, or behaviors.

  So many people hang on to unnecessary guilt because they feel responsible for a loved one's poor choices. They think, "If only I had..." or "If I were good enough this wouldn't have happened..." You cannot change another person.You can only support and be an example for them. When you are able to understand and accept this fact, you will be free to care at a higher level.
 ---Jeanne




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​
Would you go with me on another series that looks at life from a different angle?

It is from 10 facts of life that can make you a happier person. I'll try to explain a little about each one, but what they mean to you is more important....

Ok, this is the first one:  You really are unique in all the world. There will never be a person exactly like you again. No one will ever have the same physical features that you have. No one will ever look at life in the same way that you do. No one will ever have the exact same values that you do.
No one will ever have the potential for seeing, doing, and being the best you.

           Never underestimate what you can do to make the world a better place.
                                                                                                            author unknown

        Think about it...


                    *******************











​Don't know if I shared this with you, but you might enjoy seeing it...

The Symptoms of Inner Peace:

---an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
---a loss of interest in judging self or others ---frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
---losing the ability to worry
​ ---contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
              ---increased mindfulness and ability to live in the now
                                                     ---loss of interest in conflict
           ---increased ability and desire to be kind and loving



*******************************************************​

​Last question:  Please think about this seriously because it refers to the amount of personal control available to you whether you realize it or not. 

---How do I create most of my own unhappiness and disappointments in life?

Often, we self sabotage our happiness by placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves or on others. We are then disappointed when things do not work out the way we expected.

Possible action:  Consider what might happen if you stopped expecting others to read your mind, to know what you might want, to fulfill needs that you can do for yourself, etc. Consider what it would take for you to be responsible for your own happiness because you really are responsible.

Hope these 10 questions have helped create some insights for you. Please remember that the only time is now. Don't miss it...

​*********************************************************************

Week 8

​Only a few more insight questions to go. I hope at least one or two has given you a better understanding of part of life. Of course, in a real counseling session there can be many more depending on what is going on with each of us. 

So, here is question 8:

    Over what do I really have control in a particular situation that is bothering me?
   
     We can expend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things when, in reality, we have no control over them. This has a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life in a positive way.
Possible action:  Ask yourself, “Am I responsible for anything in this situation?” If yes, do your best to solve, to help, etc. If no, let go and trust in God’s providence.




                                                        ************************************************************

​​
Week 7

---What do I most need to learn in my life right now?

We all have learning needs at various points in life. New learning can help keep us alive and growing. However, we need to trust in God’s love in order to be open to making positive changes based on what insights we might gain.

 What particular situation might be teaching you that can be useful down the road. What positive insights can I gain from an otherwise difficult experience?


           *********************************************************************************************8

Week 6

​How is it going so far? Are you starting to get a better perspective on life? 

​Have you ever given yourself “peace time,” filled with no demands?  Have you ever carefully eliminated all the things you should have done or had to do and replaced them only with what you wanted to do?  It’s amazing how much can be accomplished by trying not to accomplish anything.  It can feel a little like a grazing horse in a pasture as you smoothly flow from one experience to another, gently chomping off small shoots of fresh living. 
 Once all of the pressure of striving to finish something is removed, it is much easier to take things one-step at a time. Instead of procrastinating and consequently getting little accomplished, you can be able to simply flow smoothly from one adventure to another. And looking at the day this way can allow you to live in the present, moment by moment. Somehow awareness of good things is amplified when you do this, and you may discover that you have been tripping over happiness in your rush to find the perfect life.

Week 6 Question:---Where in my daily life do I find the greatest sense of peace?
Possible action:  Go there…more often! 




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Week # 5
---#5   For which of God’s gifts am I most grateful?

   So many things in daily life seem important but are not. In one of my books I refer to them as the 'urgent unnecessary'. For example, we might think that attending a particular party or meeting or social event is vital to our life at the moment, but what is really needed might be time spent with another individual or alone.

By asking this question we are forced to look at what is most important in our lives. This is essential for putting things into perspective and out of this order peace will come. Also, gratitude is vital for true inner peace.

​                                                          ***********************************************************

Week #4
How are you doing so far? If you are seriously considering the questions, then they may be helping you to grow in your relationships and personal understanding. Following is the fourth question:

#4--What is my hidden expectation in a particular situation or relationship?
Many times we allow others to unintentionally hurt us by having unexpressed or unrealistic expectations of them that they are unaware of or unable to fulfill.

Possible action:  Next time let someone know what you want or need directly. Realize that as much as someone may love you, no one can read you mind or your heart. 
                                                                             

                                                        *****************************************************
                                                                                   

                     OK, this week we have question #3 of our free "therapy" questions. I hope you are seriously       considering these...

---#3  Of what am I really afraid?

Many times when we are angry, upset, or indecisive, it is because of some hidden fear:  e.g. the fear of losing something or someone.

Possible actions:  Next time you are experiencing negative feelings, look at what is happening in the situation or relationship. Remind yourself that the phrase “Be not afraid” is expressed 365 times in the Bible.

                                                                        *************************

Below is question #2 in my series of how to feel better and find the happiness that is hidden in plain sight in your life. Together these are the "therapy" questions designed to help put your life in perspective:

---#2  When was the last time I really enjoyed myself?
​
When we haven’t been taking care of ourselves we can begin to lose touch with positive feelings. It is important to know what we find enjoyable and fun.
Possible action:  Picture the last time you were totally absorbed in an enjoyable activity.  What did it feel like? Promise to do something good for yourself today. 


                                                                                ************************************************

​

     Due to a medical emergency and subsequent surgeries, I have been unable to update my website and blog.

​    Hopefully, I am on the mend but it is going to take awhile to find "me" again. I never dreamed that I would be out of commission for this length of time. Please keep me in your prayers and check back. Thanks for your patience...Jeanne

 
   Many children remember being sent to the corner or to their room to experience quiet time in order to, hopefully, make different choices about their erratic and unacceptable behavior.
   As adults, sometimes we desperately need a timeout from life in order to make better choices. We need to get in the habit of stepping aside, standing back, slowing down, and listening within. That is how we can discover if we are living with integrity.
   I wonder what would result if each of us could have a quiet room in our homes for spending time alone at least once a day in order to diffuse our stressed filled lives. Sitting in silence for awhile can be one of the best ways to find peace within ourselves.

   They say that God speaks to us in the quiet of our hearts and the finest prayer is one where we simply listen without asking for anything.

   How about taking time out each day to just be? You might discover peace…

                                                                                                                  ©Jeanne Adams

  The leaves outside my window look tired. They have given up fighting with the
wind, heat, sudden cold, and other types of over stimulation.

  I am tired also...I am so tired of the chaos and degrading insults to the American public that have been hoisted upon us in the name of politics. No, it really hasn't been politics as usual, but that doesn't make it a good thing.

  And when I listen to the media, I wonder, once again why they persist in promoting and in many cases glorifying negativity and hate. Much of what is presented is just wrong and some is "much ado about nothing." Meanwhile, politics and the creative use of consistent lies and projection onto the other candidate become the new norm. And other serious issues that should be dealt with, (e.g, the rights of Native Americans vs. corporate power), are ignored.

   I can see how those seeking power can win...because we, the real silent majority, remain silent.
I think we are tired--just like those leaves outside my window. But I hope you are not too tired to VOTE, even if you feel it is the lesser of two evils.
         "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to remain silent."

 ​May you be at peace in your heart...
Jeanne
                                                                                                                

​     Recently I’ve been wondering how so many people connected with a seemingly high level of spiritual development can be blind to things and to people who are so obviously the opposite.
     I scroll through places like Facebook and feel as if we are losing all that is positive. Everyone seems to be looking for and expecting signs of disrespect. The political environment has become a serious version of “I’m okay because I declare that you’re not.” We are not stupid people, but we act like it when we function at and accept such low levels of moral development as if this is the way to be now.
    Why are many of us so insecure? Why is the media fixated on glorifying negativity? And why are we letting any type of evil transpire?
    It is so frightening and frustrating to realize that there is immeasurable beauty and goodness in the world, but many people are choosing to accept destructive, degrading, and demoralizing messages, behavior, etc.
 
    I hope that someday soon we will base our choices on things like equality of human rights, respect for others, justice for all, etc., because that is the higher level of moral development that will bring us gratitude and happiness. And that is the only way to
true personal power.
 
   

 
    I’m sitting here looking at one of my favorite gifts. It is a pewter statue of a mare and colt. The mare seems to be saying to the newborn colt, “Ok, it’s time for you to get up and try to walk. But remember, when you do, you are committed for life.”
 
    The mare seems to be giving this wisdom in a gentle way and the colt is listening intently. The title in the front of the statue is “Love is gentle.”
 
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?
 
    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.
 
    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.
 
    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in prayer or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace. Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle.
    

  
    Have you ever noticed how much can be accomplished in your head before getting up in the morning? It seems to be an easy time when I can create and cross off a myriad of items on a mental “To Do” list.
    I feel like someone with boundless energy and rock hard resolve as I imagine myself doing leaps and bounds of positive productivity during the upcoming day.
    It can be a time of hope and promise… Or it can be the last thing I complete.
     I guess there can be many reasons for this. Maybe hope is somehow connected with energy level and as energy fades during the day so does hope. Maybe the element of procrastination sets in and little is actually accomplished.
​
    But wait…Maybe I could turn it into one of my putter days. One of the best ways I know to really accomplish more than I think I can is to putter or graze like a horse.
    When I putter, I gradually go from one minor thing to another and complete a small organizational task that has been delayed and frequently forgotten and then remembered time and again. These somehow serve as little mini-stresses that are left in the back of my mind.
    The freedom of a putter day is wonderful because there are no explicit demands. And after grazing through my day, it seems that all of the mini-bonfires of stress have been doused with cool, refreshing water and I am free to breathe.
    Problems are seen as challenges; beauty is recognized along the way; tension is reduced; it’s time to relax…

         Looking out the window I am reminded how much trees can look like us when breezes suddenly attack. They either all move the same way or each leaf tries to escape the force of air by twisting in different directions, causing a chaotic pattern. I want to say, “Hey guys, it’s just a breeze. Calm down.”
​
    Maybe that’s what we need to do when we find ourselves twisting in different directions—maybe we need to stop and calm down. After all, it’s just a breeze…or thunderstorm…or some other type of experience that tries to knock us off our feet. But we’ve been through worse before and handled it. And usually “this too shall pass” even if it seems like it is one mountain to climb after another.

    So, in the process of calming down, try these:

                             *giving yourself some alone time—quiet time when you can get your
                               priorities straight.
 
                             *Consider what the right thing to do in the situation is and do it.
 
                             *Remind yourself what is important in life.
 
                             *Make peace with yourself and there will be no one left to fight.
 
                             *Ask advice from an older person you respect. Learn from experience.
 
                             *Be willing to compromise the unimportant things in life.
 
                             *Pray for the strength to be up to the challenge.
 
                             *Be good to yourself.
 

      Although I certainly appreciate all that the experts      have done and taught me, it has finally occurred to me that my greatest learning experiences in life have actually come from other, more taken-for granted sources.
One of those sources was my Dad.

       I remember him taking me along on Saturday mornings during his rounds to the meat market, bakery and grocery store. Some valuable lessons came during these weekly trips. I learned how to choose different cuts of meat and how to pick out the best. I learned what the word “fresh” means when applied to various types of food.

     But my Dad also taught me the value of honesty whenever he discovered and returned extra change that had been mistakenly given to him by a salesperson. He taught me how to easily share small talk with strangers and other social courtesies one learns from example. Most of my Dad’s lessons were ones of practical goodness and patience. He was a natural teacher who added quality and character to a child’s life without the structure of a lesson plan.

We actually do learn from example, even in our adult years—which is why it is so important to be mature enough to live our values and not follow the crowd like we might have done in high school.

What are you passing on to your children? Make it something worthwhile...
 

  
    “Many of us approach each day by starting a car engine that keeps going at a considerable speed throughout the day. We usually have no real reason for the speed. The important thing seems to be to keep the car going and not necessarily in any particular direction as long as we keep moving. To slow down or stop might be dangerous, possibly exposing us to the meaninglessness of all this multitasking activity that we use to justify our existence.
    But what if we gave ourselves permission to slow down…? Some very happy experiences can come from times when it is okay to just want to be here.”                                                 -excerpt from book:   Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight

    I have a bird feeder attached to the window facing my writing desk. The window is hidden behind 12 foot bushes that give the impression of being in a forest.

Two chickadees have found my feeder and have decided it is their favorite restaurant. Although the feeder with its two sections has signs labeled “eat in” and “take out,” the birds seem to ignore these directions and just eat at will and with one purpose. They must like the simple life.

    But what about you? Do you ever live without the engine running continuously? Do you long for the simple life? Do you ever live in the now—wanting to just be here with one purpose?
​
    And what if that one purpose were love?

How to be a better and happier person:  Many times it is the little things and little changes that can make the biggest positive difference in a life. Try a few of the following and see if you feel more comfortable with yourself and more at peace:

            *Several times each day ask yourself, “What is the most loving
              action I could do right now?”
 
            *Gossip only about the good you see in others.
 
            *Give only sincere compliments.
 
            *Smile at people you haven’t met as you pass them by.
 
            *When under stress, stop and put things into perspective.
 
            *Consciously look for beauty around you this week.
 
            *Point out something of wonder to a child. (or adult)
 
            *Consciously forgive the ignorance and thoughtlessness
              of others.
 
            *Do an act of kindness that no one else sees.
 
            *Allow yourself to experience silence.