From My Perspective Blog---Jeanne Adams, Writing That Nurtures

In the Moment...

10/18/2020

So, Where Have You Been All My Life?

It’s okay. Really! It might be one of the healthiest things you can do. And you won’t disappear or be forgotten if you do it. Friends and family will still be there for you. They can be called at any time. And when you do make contact with them you will likely be a more stimulating, interesting person to be around. So, go ahead…spend some quality time by yourself. It’s simply one of those things you need to do at this stage in your life even though you might secretly be afraid. Here’s why and how:
It seems that many of you spend years complaining about not having any time to yourselves, not having a quality rest, and not being able to get away from the constant demands of motherhood, domestic engineering, career responsibilities, etc. So, what happens when you finally have a chance to slow down? Do you spend time languishing in the quiet, peaceful, no demand space? Do you listen to your heartbeat and hear your soft breathing as you settle into your slower pace? Do you take that time for yourself that you have been longing for since before the kids came or the career took center stage?

Why are they (and you) having so much trouble just relaxing? Don’t be afraid. You are a wonderful person to get to know.

Need some ideas on what to do with yourself ? Try these:

Write…your memoirs, or that dreamed of book, a list of the happiest things in your life, words to a song that has been coming in and out of your head, etc.
Read…a mystery novel, a cartoon or humor book, a spiritual book, or a puzzle book for mental stimulation.
Sit in front of a fireplace or campfire; open up your senses to the sound of nature.
Watch the birds…in late spring there is a special treat in observing baby birds and their mothers interacting. Relish the fact that you are not responsible for their upbringing!
Go back to a hobby that gave you pleasure earlier in life, and get completely absorbed in relearning it. Become an expert at it.
Learn a new hobby or craft. Get a video or how-to book from the library
Go out to lunch alone at a gourmet restaurant and actually taste the food.Treat yourself to a special dessert.
Take a ride in the country and stop at a vegetable/fruit stand or farmers market in summer.
Sit back in your favorite chair and listen to beautiful music. It’s even all right to fall asleep.
Plan the perfect day on paper. Ask yourself what elements would make it so special.
Plant something. Even a miniature flower or vegetable container garden can be a wonderful experience. Check the Internet for gardening how-to ideas.
Tell yourself there is absolutely nothing that you have to do today or for at least the next hour. Simply live without any demands placed on yourself.

Get up early in the morning and relax with your preferred cup of coffee or tea outside. Watch and listen to nature waking up.

Take a hike…no, not a real hike, or even a power walk. Instead, try an awareness walk. Become aware of as much as possible during your stroll; notice anything new in the neighborhood; identify sounds and their

sources; notice the wide variety of colors and especially the various hues of a single color such as green.
· Stop by an empty place of worship and quietly count your blessings in peace.

I hope now that you have taken the time to know yourself a little better, you realize what a wonderful, unique, and interesting person you are. Maybe you’ll want to relax with this person regularly. Think of how much more you will have to share with the other special people in your life.

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. Nobody Like You...

You might remember the following. It is one of the best reasons for good self-esteem
I have ever seen. We seem to need something upbeat and positive. Think about it...

In all the world there is no one like you!
Since the beginning of time there
has never been another person like you.
Nobody has your smile. Nobody has your eyes,
your nose, your hair, your hands, your voice.
You are incredibly unique.

No one can be found who has your handwriting
or your tastes in food, art, or music.
No one sees things just as you do.

In all the world there has been no one
who laughs like you, no one who cries like you.
and what makes you laugh and cry
will never provoke identical laughter and tears
from anybody else, ever.

You are the only one in all of creation who has
your set of abilities.
Oh, there will always be someone who is better
at one of the things you are good at,
but no one in the universe can reach the quality
of your combination of talents,
ideas, abilities, and feelings.

Like a room full of musical instruments,
some may excel alone, but none can match
the symphony sound
when all are played together.
You are a symphony!

Through all of eternity no one
will ever look, walk, talk, think, or do like you.
You are unique and rare.
And, as in all rarity, there is great value.
Because of your great value, you do not need to attempt to imitate others
You can accept, yet celebrate differences.

It's no accident that you are so special.
God must have a job for you that no one else
can do as well as you can.
Of all the billions of applicants, only one
is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes.
That one is you.
You are irreplaceable---handle with care.

-author unknown

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Just a Lift Up

Following is just a little light-hearted story about a recent experience of mine.

Something happened the other day that brought me down. It wasn’t expected or wanted. And of course, it happened at one of the worst times. I guess it’s something I should have been ready for, given the many effects of age and long term body disintegration. After all, I truthfully am no longer thirty-nine…
Well, I fell while trying to pick up the cat’s dish on the way to my breakfast. I spent the next three and a half hours on the laundry room floor dressed in my sparse nightclothes, with slippers that got loose and ran away. It was a new crisis for me because nobody would hear if I called out. So, what could I do? After all, very few options exist in a small laundry room, crammed in with a washer, a dryer, a sink, and a three-level cat playground. I looked for something to entertain myself, but the Tide canister was up too high to read the label.
So I decided to be serious and use my three brain cells to figure out how to get to a standing position. However, having fallen, certain complications can occur that hinder the desire to be up-right. I twisted and turned dozens of times, only to feel my strength seeping out of me with each effort. Several attempts included falling back and hitting my head on the wall. (There went two brain cells.)

So, I’m warning you. Please do everything in your power to stay standing because the horizontal position is not fun when you don’t choose it.

Jeanne
PS: Someone did come to check on me, and the firemen were very friendly…

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Adulthood--What your mother never taught you...

Why was I so anxious as a child to become an adult? Now that I am older I am finding this whole adult thing to be very difficult at times. You see, no one ever told this one time cocky adolescent, looking to own, achieve, and acquire the many aspects of adult life that someday I might lose them. No one warned me about the terrible losses that start to accelerate as I get older. No one ever said, “Hey wait a minute. Are you sure you want this relationship, pet, car, house, status, job, etc.? Because someday you might lose them and it is going to hurt!”
I have yet to see a course entitled, “Adulthood: How to Make Difficult Decisions and Cope with Unplanned Change.”We get a lot of information from our years in school, especially if we are lucky enough to attend college at different levels. We are usually still blindsided by many experiences as adults. And we are often left trying to figure out what to do in each situation. For example:

---How to handle real suffering in life. This can hit us in many ways, like a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a child, spouse, friend or pet, pain from medical situations, break-up of a relationship, chronic illness, misunderstanding, experiencing personal violence, etc.

---How to raise children in a constantly changing society. One element that appears to be important is consistency on our part. It seems that no matter how much change society throws at us, it is still important for children to have boundaries and to feel safe. There will always be a need for consistent values to be presented and lived.

---How to keep perspective when life seems overwhelming. One of the best ways to get perspective is to step back for a short time and look again at important values. Consider what is most important and what will matter in the long run. So much effort and energy are spent on much ado about nothing.

---How to see beyond counterfeit rhetoric. As adults, we often face things that are scams or untruths. And sometimes it takes the experience of being exploited to realize what is true or not. Being used can occur in business, politics, individual manipulation in a relationship, etc. It can feel awful to realize that our loyalties and energy have been used only to provide personal gains for another individual.

---How to be at peace with yourself. It is much easier to face the trials and tribulations of life when we are grounded and living our values. To be grounded is to feel confident in our ability to face negativity. To be at peace is to be grounded in our convictions, values, faith, beliefs, etc.

---How to be mindful. To be mindful is to live in the now without judgment. It is important to understand that the only time is now. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination or expectation. Mindfulness can bring awareness without stress when we know that now is the only time there is.

---How to know that love is a verb. We grow up being very much aware of romantic love and many people think that this is the only type of love---one that is based on feelings. But genuine love is experienced at a higher level. To authentically love is to recognize the dignity of each individual and take positive action for them. Love is something we can spend a lifetime learning but is the ultimate skill.

Couldn’t I somehow be warned that being an adult means I may someday: have great neighbors that will move away; lose the job status that I worked so hard to achieve; suffer the loss of a family member or friend to cancer; have a child forget to call, be ignored or patronized because of my age; deal with all sorts of emergencies and know who to call and when…?

I’m learning that these hard times can come close together, almost as if someone has set a spiral in motion. I wonder if there will be a time when everything falls into place and I can just relax for a while without having to respond to another mini-crisis. (And then I feel guilty because I know that many other people are experiencing real tragedy and suffering.) Somehow it seemed to be so much easier when I was young enough to demonstrate youthful ignorance.

Maybe the answer is simply to look once again at life through the eyes of a child---the eyes that experience life one moment at a time, see problems as adventures, and losses as lessons in hope, knowing that God is as close as a prayer.

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal.
Keep on learning and go in peace…

Jeanne
Teach only Love. The only time is now.
Dr. Jarold Jampolsky

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20 Ways to Take a 10 Minute Vacation

So many of us wait a year for our annual vacation, when we can slow the merry-go-round down to a semi hectic pace. We spend weeks counting the days until a sense of personal freedom is available. And many times the anticipation is the best part of the vacation. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It is possible to remove yourself from the usual daily chaos and frantic frequency. Try some of the following ideas for taking a ten minute vacation daily:

1. Lay down and tell yourself that there is absolutely nothing that you have to accomplish during the next ten minutes. This is what I call no demand time.
2. Sit in the backyard or a park and simply listen to all nature sounds. Eg.,. birds, water, the rustle of trees, squirrels playing, etc.
3. Turn off the TV and while looking at the blank screen, imagine the most peaceful scene you can remember.
4. Take a slow warm shower or bubble bath. Pretend that you are at a luxury hotel. Smell the soap and feel the clean.
5. Give yourself a miniature tea break with a plate of assorted homemade items on a china plate. Taste each item slowly and sensually. Sip the hot tea.
6. Take a leisurely walk in a park or woods. This time in nature has been proven to be an effective way to relax.
7. Put your feet up on your desk or sofa with hands behind your head, and close your eyes. Imagine you are walking barefoot along a warm sandy beach.
8. Have a play romp with your dog.
9. Meditate or simply pray.
10. Listen quietly to classical music that is designed for relaxation.
11. Spend a few minutes stroking a kitten or cat. Proven to reduce blood pressure.
12. Play one of the kids computer games. Go ahead, zap em!
13. Get absorbed in a short story in a magazine.
14. Expect nothing from anyone, including yourself, for the next 10 minutes.
15. Take a “coffee break” by yourself in a quiet place.
16. Turn on some upbeat music and do creative dance steps. Express yourself!
17. Spend just ten minutes on your favorite hobby or craft project. Try to get totally involved.
18. Turn on slow, easy music and imitate a cat stretching in the sun.
19. Plant. It can be an indoor plant or a garden.Dig; landscape or create a flower arrangement.
20. Read something motivational and/or inspirational. Better yet, write about something that has inspired or motivated you in the past.

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On the Way

Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to consistently live your faith in today’s world? A big part of it may be what seems like overwhelming evil and the fear that surrounds us daily. Sometimes it hits with pervasive anxiety. We worry that we might succumb to the negativity and apathy. And we are left feeling helpless to correct the fractured cultural demise. The distractions of our present conditions seem to always get in the way of genuine active faith.

It seems that Jesus spent most of his life going from one place to another, dealing with various unrest-full and health situations in a relaxed and focused manner. He lived life as a teacher of peace and shared lessons on the way. I feel that His most basic teaching was said by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:

Teach only love. The only time is now.
What God is still asking of us now: to live in the moment with genuine love and peace. But to live in the moment can be extremely difficult. We allow ourselves to get caught up in either an issue from the past or an imagined fear of the future. But time spent on trying to control the uncontrollable leaves little room for life in real-time--now.

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What control do you have?

The situations we have all experienced over the last few months and years have created increased anxiety and fear in most of us. And we wonder what we can do. It occurred to me that maybe a few thoughts and simple questions might help. Are you willing to try?

Question One: Over what do I have control in this situation?
We can spend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things we have no control over. It can have a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life positively. Ask yourself, am I responsible for anything in any of the situations? If yes, do your best to solve, help, vote, etc.

Question Two: Do I see it as a problem or a challenge?
The way we perceive things determines our reality. Seeing something as a challenge implies that there is the ability to take action—based on choice.

Question Three: How can I better handle fear?
When fear is out of perspective, it can overwhelm us, resulting in constricted living. But living life with common sense and love, it is easier to conquer fear one step at a time. It is surprising how much the Serenity Prayer can help to put things into perspective.

              God, grant me the serenity
                         to accept the things I cannot change,
                                the courage to change the things I can
                                       and the wisdom to know the difference.

Just some thoughts…
Jeanne
PS: Plan your VOTE.

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How to be a Magnet...

As human beings, we spend most of our lives moving through changing situations with varying energy levels, goals, and motivations. When we feel good about ourselves and in control of our world, we can move with direction and purpose. We are alive and open to new experiences. There is an awareness of genuine self-worth, and our decisions and actions are easy. Our thoughts and senses are positive, and our self-talk encouraging. We know who we are and live what we believe. We are in balance.

There is an old Chinese saying that states, “Only happy people can make a happy world.” There is much truth to this.

Have you ever noticed that the people you feel safest with and with whom you want to spend more time, are those who appear to be happiest and contented with themselves? They don’t feel the need to compare or put down others, they’re seldom cynical, and they tend to concentrate on the good things in life. They are in control of, and responsible for their happiness. They have integrity, warmth, compassion, and gentleness. You are impressed with their quiet strength and perspective on life. The hectic pace and tension of the day are diminished a little while in their presence.

These people are rare yet memorable. We are drawn to them because when we are with them, we feel better about ourselves. Ask yourself, are you that quiet magnet that attracts people to the good things in life? Are you that unique person who can help others feel better about themselves? No matter how many cookbook techniques you learn and use, or how many degrees behind your name, it is your sincere, open, genuine caring that can have the most impact on others.

--these thoughts are adapted from my first book;
Getting People Involved in Life and Activities.
Be at peace,
Jeanne

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Im-possible

There is a message that we human beings need to hear more than any other.

God has said to us, “I love you. Please respond.” And then Jesus showed us how. But instead of following his example of love, we continually spend time complicating that request, twisting it around, rationalizing our non-response, defining our positions, ignoring his directions. And we spend countless hours debating the wrong thing..

If small children ever fell into this pattern, they would never get around to playing. But they don’t. They simply play...and define the rules as they go along, only when needed. Most of their time is spent being and doing in a state of simplicity and spontaneity. (Maybe this is what Christ means when he says that we need to become as little children). God doesn’t ask us to discuss rules and regulations of Christianity and to issue rubrics and proclamations of judgment. He hasn’t told us to divide up into multiple groups of people who spend immeasurable hours and years on trivial things like how we are to conduct our meetings or church services, etc. He simply asks us to love others…

But in all of our relationships, we spin our wheels and take little or no consistent action in response to God’s love, being busy texting, tweeting, or lost in instagram and Facebook.

It seems that "consistent action" means consistent kindness, even a small amount of time spent with God each day, meaningful teaching about genuine love, and meeting life with gratitude. I have found that anyone of these are difficult on a regular basis, but like you, I keep trying.

Who do I think I am? Just another person trying to live life in the now--the only time that we have for answering God...

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HOPE is...

    Possibly one of the best ways to bring hope to the world is to be that hope for others. A person who is hurting can’t always ask for what is wanted despite desperately needing help. Frequently, when asked about how things are going, they will say, “Fine” or will express very little, feeling that most people are not interested or won’t be able to do what it might take to fix the situation. And often, there is no fix—there is just the pain.

Sometimes the quiet observation of “You look tired today” or “Something seems to be bothering you,” followed by an offer to help can create a healing connection capable of bringing hope and peace to another. Just the realization that someone has noticed you are facing a challenge can ease the burden.

There will always be times when we are not quite sure how to respond to a delicate situation without clear boundaries. And it is hard to know how far to step into someone else’s life without overwhelming or appearing nosy. But there is a way that can create a bridge. Next time, when you are wondering what to say in what might seem to be an awkward situation, you might try gently asking, “How can I help?” When asked with sincerity and sensitivity, the question can bring peace and comfort to a hurting human spirit.

   -taken from my ebook, Significant Caring, Brighton Publishing

May peace be with you.
Care always...

Jeanne

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  Try to Top This...


   Once when I had foot surgery and had to stay with my foot held up for four months, depression started to slowly seep into my body. Knowing that I am usually a positive person, I decided I had to do something radical to stop the progress. The idea I chose was to write as many things that I was grateful for or were awesome.. The list not only relieved my depression but ended up to be over one thousand items, all of them positive.
Many of these beautiful and positive things are now in one of my books, Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight. This book has numerous ideas and ways to increase happiness in your life merely through awareness, gratitude, and living in the now. It contains many partial lists of memorable elements and experiences as in the following partial list of sensory potpourri:
     ---thick milkshakes
     ---being able to taste again after a cold
     ---soft baby skin
     ---comfortable slippers
     ---angel food cake
     ---songs that touch the heart
     ---the aroma of a neighbor’s barbecue
     ---sinking your feet in a warm, wet, sandy beach
     ---snow sparkling in the sun
     ---a smooth golf swing
     ---a genuine hug
     ---discovering a rainbow
               etc., etc.
It seems that if we genuinely spend the time being grateful, we will find countless more entities than we ever dreamed possible. So, if you want to be happier, start dreaming…(I would love to see what you come up with)

Peace,
Jeanne

PS: My book, Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight, is available (for 10.00 + 3.00 shipping) by writing to me at:
Jeanne Adams
100 Venloe Drive
Youngstown, Ohio 44514

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Discover the Good...

Before the virus, most people were having a busy schedule doing something else, so they missed much of the hidden beauty in life. Now we don't seem to know what is beautiful, relaxing, and stress free.

So, here are some mostly free ideas..
Take your time to enjoy the attractiveness of a freshly manicured lawn. Take a drive in the country. Walk up a hill, visit a park or a city overlook. Just find and experience a sense of openness and space. Look for places around you that feel free.

Appreciate the work that you might do at home. For example, there is beauty in clean windows, polished furniture, and folded clothes straight from the dryer. Cutting the grass, woodwork,straightening the garage or shed, and cleaning up around the outside are also positive undertakings.

Surround yourself with softness. Put on something loose and silky or soft and warm. Fluff up your pillow and lay down slowly; feel your head sink into the fabric. Spend time with a sleeping infant, a kitten or puppy, or an older person who has fallen asleep in a chair. Discover the beauty in physical characteristics:
the softness of the skin and delicacy of the fingers of an infant, the tiny whiskers and eyebrows on a kitten or puppy, the struggles of life etched in the face of an older person.

Lastly, enjoy the beauty of gentleness, Slow down your speech and actions and try to be purposely kind to someone, especially a child. Don't worry about being appreciated. the value is in the kindness...

Be good to yourself... ideas taken from my book,
Happiness: hidden in plain sight
Jeanne

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    Got Youth?



A long time ago I came across a list of how to stay young, by Sigmond Miller, from his book,
Life Span Plus. I am sharing an adapted version for your reflection::

  1. Learn a new language
2. Learn to play music
3. Make a new friend
4. Improve at something
5. Memorize a poem and share it
6. Buy some new clothes that show the real you
7. Entertain a lustful thought
8. Fight for what you believe in (be an example of what you believe in)
9. Take a course in anything you've always wanted to learn
10. Wear running shoes
11. Move smoothly, like an athlete or a dancer
12. Watch a sunrise
13. Take a long hike in the country
14. Get a massage
15. Have a laugh at least once a day
16. Make someone else laugh
17. Change your routine
18. Stretch and stay loose
19. Walk with a spring in your step
20. Have more fun
21. Turn on music and dance--or at least feel the music
22. Write poetry
23. Do the unexpected
24. Breathe deeply (repeat frequently)
25. Continue to discover with a sense of wonder

Be at peace,
Jeanne

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Discovery

The view from my window behind my laptop is fascinating. When I look out, I see a cluster of bush leaves that have grown to reach the branches of the old tree behind it. I almost feel as if I’m living in a treehouse, something I’ve wanted since childhood.

Of course, I have lots of neighbors in the treehouse. There are chipmunks, squirrels, a variety of birds, and neighborhood cats, etc. And there are lots of movements from the floating bush. When the wind is strong, they almost try to come through the window. And when the breeze is soft, the branches do a slow dance.

I am surprised to see the magnitude of the foliage because, during winter, the branches of the bush looked so dead, I thought we would have to hire someone to take it down.

So many times, when we think we have lost something, God finds something better for us. And we realize that it was just a matter of time before we see the good again.

I finally have been given the treehouse that I wanted as a child--perhaps because now I can appreciate it.

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Freedom

I suppose many of us are not feeling the freedom that goes with this holiday. We have been confined by the time spent inside when it is beautiful outside.Some of us feel trapped by our masks and distance from one another. And we may feel that circumstances have left us with lives out of control and wondering what will happen next..

The above picture, in a sense, is one of genuine freedom. Perhaps it is part of a bucket list that the two people take seriously. Maybe they are nearing the end of a beautiful friendship and want one more of the good-times.Maybe,with great effort, they have finally made it to the beach. They seem to be seriously enjoying, despite any consequences.

Don't you wonder what each one is thinking?

Freedom is something that is felt within and is related to trust. So,who do you trust? Is it your own judgement and self-esteem that can handle whatever happens? Is it someone close to you? Is it God? The greater your trust,the greater your sense of freedom.Think about it...

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Procrastination

Do you ever feel stuck?
I’m referring to the kind of “stuckiness” that keeps you in place, not knowing where to move next. There may be dozens of things that supposedly need to be done for one reason or another. You may even have a full To-Do list that is just begging for cross offs. And your mind keeps urging you to stop procrastinating.

So, what's wrong? Fatigue? Depression? Laziness? Maybe even low blood sugar. Of course, nothing that a little treat and a nap wouldn't cure. Sure, it could be any one of these things and more. As a person who is a master at procrastination, I am well versed in the ways of one who is stuck. Sometimes I’ll take a break from some task and just sit down to watch a half-hour TV show before finishing. But crash, I'm asleep for two hours, and it’s too late to complete my task.

Now, you would think that someone who does this regularly would come up with a plan to avoid this situation. But no, not me. In fact, I have numerous excuses for my procrastination. I won’t go into the psychological reasons, but something is definitely causing my lack of task orientation.

I know that I am supposed to be more of a right-brain thinker (another excuse?) Right-brain thinkers are more creative, visual, daydreaming, intuitive, with emphasis on possibilities, etc. Left-brain thinkers are more detailed, logical, mathematical, with emphasis on strategies, etc.

So, I guess if you are a right-brain person, getting stuck could be an easy habit. If you are a left-brain person, you will probably get the tasks done with more ease.

Ok, now have you ever heard of rationalization?

Be peaceful in the now…
Jeanne

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Let it Be...

I was sitting in silence,wondering what the subject of this blog might be. For some reason, the above phrase from an old Beatles song jumped into my head. It occurred to me that the concept of "let it be" could refer to much more than in the original song lyrics.
   I wonder if the phrase “Let it Be” could appropriately be used in a positive way that would help simplify life. For example:

  Let it be kindness when I see another person
Let it be the absence of worry
Let it be beautiful things that I see
Let it be that I am gentle when dealing with a difficult situation
Let it be that my integrity continues to be
Let it be mindfulness I do on a day that is chaotic
Let it be love that I sincerely give
Let it be God who I seek in my life’s journey

I could go on with many more reminders designed to deepen perspective on positive living. And probably, if you go deep inside yourself, you will discover a silent place where stress is gone. Just let it be and peace will follow.

Jeanne

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Only One Thing…

    Do you remember being a child and having the ability to be spontaneous
and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation? I can only speculate why so many adults simply give up on life when it comes to happiness, sit back and wait for happiness to suddenly occur--someday.

Many individuals have an unhealthy negative attitude that says I cannot change the world alone because I’m not strong enough or powerful enough to make any change. (I can understand that negative outlook with the way the world is today.)

But that’s not really true. Being able to have an impact in the world happens all the time. Everything you do and say, every choice you make changes the world. And the choices you make are where much of your power is. Where do you make your choices? In your mind.

                 Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness
                 in our lives: where we focus our attention.
   ---Greg Anderson

So, if you choose to be honest, empathetic, respectful of everyone, choose positive possibilities, and choose to spend quiet time listening to the voice within, you could make wonderful changes in the world.
Choose well…

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6/5/2020

     Freedom from Stress

   I’ll never stop being in awe of nature. Not necessarily with its' beauty, but also the remarkable ability to organize itself according to the seasons. It seems like it was only two weeks ago when the branches outside my office window were empty, dry, and completely dead. And I sat here contemplating who I could get to remove this dead fifteen-foot bush that covers this end of the house.

Last year the bush gave me numerous peaceful moments of God’s artistry. Birds were always in competition, jumping among the thick green branches, canvassing the area for potential nesting possibilities.

And the bush is back with a wonderful sense of privacy and inclusion of whatever written drama I wish to proclaim, in my blog, my books, or elsewhere. There is something about being close to nature that brings me closer to myself. The natural world never ceases to bring out the positive that general humanity has difficulty retaining. It regularly takes turns showcasing beauty in an organized pattern of quiet expression. Each tree branch, flower, flowering bush, and petal is slowly shifted with grace when a slight breeze comes through the area.

Natural scenery is a large part of the good stuff in life--what we often miss when we spend time with the unimportant, superficial, or mundane. It has become well-known that being in nature has been proven to remove the stress of life. It allows us to be good in our thoughts—the beginning of goodness in our actions.

It seems to me that nature is another blessing that moves us to seek the higher ground, to attempt to come closer to the best that is within us. And that can make all the difference...

5/29/2020

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Ok, it’s a hot day—the kind that weighs you down with heavy humidity and makes you either jump in water or stay in air-conditioning all day. It’s the heat that so many people couldn’t wait for last winter. It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s oppressive. Do you still like it?
Well, what kind of hot can you tolerate?: to be sweaty and overheated from a good workout, the dry, intense heat of an Arizona desert, or the heat of passion for a person, project, or belief?
The heat of passion can be good if it is managed in a positive way. It can give energy, purpose, and direction. But of course, if focused negatively, it can be a terrible source of evil that can bring down a nation one incident at a time.
But how about building up our humanity one incident at a time?
You can do it and only you in your unique way. The heat of passion can:help you:
---notice those around you who are in need or pain
                   ---learn to be compassionate
                   ---insert peace into a developing argument
                   ---respect each individual, knowing that all lives matter
                   ---develop pervasive gratitude for all you have been given
                   ---grow in your singular creativity
                   ---promote and appreciate what is positive in life
                   ---spread integrity and kindness around with recklessness
                   ---pick up someone who has forgotten how to care

And if it gets too hot to handle, try just sitting alone quietly in the coolness of
God’s love.

********************************************************************************************

5/16/20

Who’s In Control Here?
            There she was, complaining to anyone who would listen, answering each question of sympathy with still another blast of indignation. She even interrupted other conversations with her soapbox oratory. I mean it was embarrassing. Each time I would ask her to be quiet she would announce another terrible abuse, making it clear that I was the real cause of all her troubles.
            The quivering canine in the corner sat in silence, playing a proper patient role. His Mom didn’t feel like she was at the center of chaos in this little corner of the world. She could look on with no responsibility at all and quietly be amused. And so smug…
            Well, at least we were taken to a patient room quickly. They must have finally gotten this office organized. But did the verbal assault stop there? No way! Despite the lack of audience, my little feline friend kept steadily reminding me that this type of visit would not be tolerated today or in the future. After all, the place looked scary, smelled scary, had bad memories, and—oh yes, it was frequented by dogs. No, this was definitely a big mistake on someone’s part. I sighed, as I knew, once again, who was at fault.
            “But it won’t be much longer and you like Dr. Tom.” (Isn’t it ridiculous what we say to try and soothe our furry “kids”?)
“Well, here’s the doctor now…”
SILENCE!
Complete and total quiet. Only a small head stuck under the crook of my arm. “She thinks she’s hiding, Doctor.”
            Up she comes with a look that says, “I’m gonna get you for this. Just so he doesn’t stick that thermometer up my bu…but he’s doing it! Now you’re going to see a pout lady, like you’ve never seen before. Wait until we get home. I’ll never sit on your lap again.” Still, all is communicated in absolute silence. Oh, the power of a man with a white coat and letters after his name.
            Finally, the ordeal is over and I hear Dr. nice guy pat her on the head and say,
“Well kitty, I think you deserve an A for good behavior.” (WHAT! Didn’t you hear her Doc? She screamed the whole way over here. I had to explain my way out of confrontations with a police cruiser, an animal shelter truck, and three male strays looking for some action. I couldn’t keep her quiet. She was driving me crazy…)
            “By the way, Doctor, what do you think has been causing this problem since you say she is physically okay?”
“Stress.”
“Stress?!?” Great. She lives with a therapist.
“Meow”

********************************************************************************************

5/8/2020
Since Mother's day is Sunday, I would like to share something
I wrote as a gift for Moms:
In honor of all Mothers I want to say thank you:

for not only taking care of our scraped knees, but also for:
-comforting our bruised ego
-cleaning up after us
-letting us choose when you knew there was a better way
-staying up until we got home safely
-reminding us of what is important in life
-being such a good role model
-listening to our dreams (and nightmares)
-being the best cook in all the world
-designing all those costumes
-comforting us when we were sick
-looking the other way when we made a simple mistake
-covering up our social bloopers
-assuming our intentions were better than they were
-driving friends to countless activities
-covering us with a blanket when we fell asleep in a chair
-knowing just what we wanted for Christmas without asking
-putting up with all of our complaining
-listening to us even when you were tired
-for all of the hugs
-teaching us to care about others in need
-showing us how to be kind
-being patient with us during our anxiety-driven teen years
-asking our opinion when we were too young to know much
-always reminding us that you loved us
-giving us part of your piece of cake or pie because you knew we liked it
-teaching us to forgive others
-being calm when we needed a safe place
-letting us learn the musical instrument we wanted to play
rather than your favorite one
-holding us accountable for our actions while supporting us at the same time
-praying for us…always.

and especially,
for knowing that we love you… even though we haven’t said it often enough.

*********

(The above is a picture of my mother who raised ten children. I was one of the lucky ones.)
Have a wonderful weekend
Jeanne

************************************************************************************

5/2/2020

Please Pause...
It is sunny out today, one of the few days with anything other than another cloudy day. Strange how much the weather can have an impact on how we feel. Sunshine always seems to make us feel better. It can wake us up to a better day and give us a brighter view of the world. Somehow, on sunny days we have the energy and attitude to do more, be more, and love more. When someone says, “Have a good day…” it almost seems possible. Chronic pain is a little less and hope a little brighter..

I can’t help but wonder why we wait for sunny days in order to live more. What would happen if we could bring peace home by being at peace? What if we gave ourselves a small chance each day to just be in a temporary silent world? What if, no matter what the weather is, we would, for a few minutes, be silent and listen to the soft sounds of God’s voice within?
I have always been an advocate of the importance of "no demand" time. This is that rare but chosen time to be free of any expectations from others. It is silence in the chaos of life and rest for the weary. It is time where you can be reminded of what is important in life to you…a time to be real, authentic, and calm. It is a pause in a whirl-wind of constant expectations and other assignments and appointments you might have agreed to and placed yourself in--a pause from the hectic schedule of constant have to dos.(And, yes, they will return.)

It is always amazing how refreshing daily life can become with only a few minutes each day of no demand time…of personal silence in the form of mindfulness, meditation, or listening to God. Are you willing to pause?

Be good to yourself...
Jeanne

************************************************************************


Strawberries were too delicate to be picked by machine. The perfectly ripe ones bruised at even too heavy a human touch. It hit her then that every strawberry she had ever eaten—every piece of fruit—had been picked by calloused human hands. Every piece of toast with jelly represented someone’s knees, someone’s aching back and hips, someone with a bandanna on her wrist to wipe away the sweat. Why had no one told (me) about this before?
Alison Luterman, What We Came For
   This brief passage from a book reminds me of the first thing necessary for genuine maturity and spiritual growth. Many of us lack compassion because we are not aware—or we may be aware of others but have put this awareness back in the "for reference" section of our minds. This is where it can easily be forgotten but can be brought to attention if some tragic experience occurs. We can feel the hurt or abuse of someone at that time. But that is usually temporary. Why does it take so long to learn compassion which goes beyond sympathy and empathy? Compassion has these also but includes some form of positive action.
A pastor once said that
                          Religion’s bottom line is loving action on
behalf of anyone in need of my presence.
                                                                                          Fr. Joseph Fata

There has been a lot of talk about heroes recently—those who have taken action
on behalf of society. Yes, they are heroes. And we can be also. I wonder what would happen if each one of us would live our lives with compassion on a daily basis. Wouldn’t that create many more heroes? It doesn’t take that much to do: a smile, a silent prayer, an acknowledgement of someone’s pain, a question that asks what you can do to help, etc. Mother Teresa has said we need to do small things with great love.

And that leads me to my favorite quote by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:

Teach only love. The only time is now.

Peace be with you...
Jeanne

********************************************************************************************************

Since it is Good Friday for Christian Faiths and Passover for the Jewish Faith, I'm going to share something I wrote that is a reminder of what we are here for. The prayer itself is in bold and the other writing is an attempt at explaining...

Heavenly Father, life is your gift to us…
Have you considered what special gifts God has given to your life? Have you shown your gratitude for them? Do you realize how gifted you are even though you might be struggling with obstacles in your life right now?

You call us to share our lives in service to others…
Service begins with awareness of others’ needs. Compassion follows when we see everyone as children of God, and can be aware without any form of judgment. It is taking positive action for the sake of someone in need. Is compassion one of your ongoing ways of interacting with others?

Guide us as we choose each day to show your presence to all those we meet…
To live our Christian faith daily, we really do need to make a constant choice. We may want to show love to others, but it is very hard to be consistent, especially with those who do not love us in return or are strangers who are unlike us. Realize that we can always make a better choice.

Give us the courage to do whatever we can with whatever we have…
Although we can’t rid the world of poverty, pain, and political greed, there often is something we can do that will be a light in the darkness. And if we look, there is invariably someone around us who is in need of our sharing…even just a smile. Do you feel that you are doing whatever you can?

to bring your love to our community and the world…
Even though sometimes it may seem like being alone with no responsibilities would be ideal, part of our humanity is communal. We bring God’s love to others by the way we act towards them. We do this with kindness, humility, understanding, and sincerity.
And the only time is now…

Wishing you a Blessed Easter...
Jeanne

*******************************************************************************************

Hi,
For many of us, being at home continuously can be boring, and the present situation frightening. The following essay is a way to try and put things into perspective...

Life Insights

As we get older, what causes us to seek something more meaningful than the accumulation of stuff? And by stuff, I mean that almost daily collection of material items, social recognitions, elements of control, judgments, fears, disappointments, awards, money, etc.

Sometimes it seems that we have wasted energy on things like what people will think, how right and successful we are, and how far we have come financially and socially. And now they seem like such useless entities. All the interpersonal slights, anger, frustrations, and failures etc., suddenly seem to be pointless time wasters. And we are left wondering why we worried and put ourselves under stress.

Is the wisdom that supposedly comes with age an automatic oozing of common sense that tells us enough is enough? When will it be time to feel at peace? But one of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego killing and getting rid of self-absorption. It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have control over our lives. Much of our time, we are in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, trying to justify our very existence.

If only we could know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely have and are playing the control game and are lacking in self-esteem.

It is always helpful to sit back and think of all the good things in your life with a sense of gratitude. We can leave all that negative stuff alone and decide to have a positive perspective on life now and know that it begins with kindness…

Be at peace,
Jeanne

PS: My latest e-book, Just Be...and Peace will Follow, is online and published by Brighton Publishing, LLC. It is a gift book for someone you may know or love. Check it out...

8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888


Hi,
Like you probably are, I am staying at home to keep from giving and getting the recent virus that has taken over our lives. At first it may have felt like a dream come true to not have to go to work. Instead you could sleep as long as you wanted and just relax, watch television or play with your laptop/phone. Time to do anything you wanted… Right?

But I realized that I have literally been inside the house for almost three weeks. I have had the time to complete several tasks that have been put off for a long time. I did more cooking than I ever thought possible, and watched more television than I ever should have. I listened to God in meditation, but all I heard at first was, “Where have you been?”

If you are in the same situation as I am and are starting to feel bored, here are a few suggestions:
                      --try making a puzzle,
                      --give your plants some tender loving care,
                      --watch a few Hallmark movies instead of the news,
                      --do a hobby that was a favorite when you had the time,
                      --do some family games together, like Scrabble, Monopoly, etc.
                      --give yourself some meditation time,
                      --casually spend the time to enjoy your food,
                      --try a new recipe or learn to cook,
                      --be grateful if you have food in the house,
                      --do word puzzles,
                      --read a book you have been wanting to read,
                      --call your mother,
                      --think about your purpose in life,
                      --play with the dog or cat—they are ecstatic that you are home,
                          well, at least the dog is…
                      --pray—but remember to be silent and let God talk…

********************************************************************************

Hi...
The picture of daises is a symbolic gift reminding you that Spring will not be cancelled. If you feel stuck with no place to go, this might be a good time to explore some quiet space. (It will help you deal with all the negative changes in our lives right now.)

Silent places allow us to breathe deeply, to take in
little messages of self-respect from our inner selves.
They give us the gentle space to feel the basic
spiritual themes that will put us back on the path
when we are lost.
Robert J. Wicks

Have you ever tried sitting in a quiet space with a lit candle and no
other distractions? If not, try doing that (with or without the candle) and simply enjoy the quiet. Many people will use the time listening to the soft voice of God in prayer. But even without that, being in the quiet with no demands on you can do wonders. It helps put things in perspective and allows you to make easier decisions afterwards. It can be a place for hope---something that is desperately needed at this time of the Pandemic. And it can help remove some of the stress and panic that many people feel.
Hope you try it...
Jeanne

**************************************************************************

March sixth and we are all hopeful for Spring. Maybe the birds outshine us in hopefulness. They seem to be scampering, a strange movement for most birds. I see them as floating, gliding, foraging, flying, etc. but I usually don’t see them as scampering.There is lightness in their movements—almost as if they are saying, “Let’s get on with it, isn’t Spring here yet?” Or maybe that’s what I am saying. Of course, birds are anxious to get their families started. Who wouldn’t look forward to infants in the house?
However, right now the birds outside my window and I are stuck in a cold, rainy weather pattern that has been with us all winter. And when it hasn’t been raining it has been cloudy. The weather seems to reflect the state of society--not a pretty picture…
But the birds are happy and maybe that is a better sign of faith. Unlike us, maybe they listen to God’s silent messages of hope. Maybe they are able to live in the present and look forward to the future knowing that God is always with them. After all, they do go about trusting that this or that will occur when needed, and there are always brothers and sisters to play with. But the birds are happy living in the now, always being aware of what is going on around them, careful not to miss the good things in life.
How about you and I? Do you think we could we do that?

*********************************************************************************

Following is a quote I came across a long time ago. Definitely something
to think about...

It can happen again.
To the Jews, the Blacks, the Hispanics, or any other identifiable group that an apathetic public is willing to let be abused.
All it takes is the coming together of even a small number of people who require a scapegoat
to explain away their own insecurities, lack of abilities,
or low self-esteem,
and you have the environment for creating another Hitler.

Simon P. Sloan An Isolated Incident

***********************************************************************

I wonder when it was that I ceased to walk and move with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago those who were wise in the way the world works didn’t yet take me seriously.
It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have the power to function at our best. But in reality, just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel relaxed with explaining old insecurities and we can start to smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike one department at a time. And so we go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.
Right between adulthood and old age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure--a time when, at least for part of a lifetime, we can sense that we are winning the struggle.

Just think about it...During that special extended period of ideal life we wouldn't have to worry about so many things that seem to throw us a curve at other times. We wouldn't worry, for example, about what other people think or about trying to impress anyone. We wouldn't be afraid to stand up for our rights as consumers, citizens, women, people with disabilities, people with racial, cultural or other differences.
If there were this extended time period in life when we felt in control, we could walk with our head held high and the rest of the body in perfect coordination. We could actually participate in all of the activities that the mind says are interesting and amusing.
And we wouldn’t have to live life on the defensive. There would be no need to blame others or try to change them. If we felt comfortable with ourselves for this extended period of time, we could allow others to be themselves…with no demands from us. Also, wouldn’t it be wonderful to not feel obligated to do something we really didn’t want to do? Just imagine feeling comfortable saying “No” at times when someone puts on the pressure instead of struggling to come up with an excuse.

Oh yes, there’s the fatigue aspect. We wouldn’t be nearly as tired because we wouldn’t be in that state of fight or flight all of the time. We would be happy simply being ourselves regardless of the behavior of others. If there were this period in life when we felt comfortable with ourselves, we could perform at our best, live our values and ideals, be good to ourselves and to others, and stop fighting a self-imposed system of constant disappointments.
But now that I think of it, whoever said we were supposed to fight our way through life? Perhaps maturity is really nothing more than learning how to flow…

*************************************************************************************

Probably the hardest transition to make is the change that is necessary to become a better you. It takes a lot of courage to keep striving to be the real you, the best you possible, your authentic self.
    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?

    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.

    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.

    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in silence, prayer, or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace.Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle lesson to learn.

*********************************************************************************************

Many people wonder how St.Teresa of Calcutta was able to consistently show so much love to each individual she met. In answer to this question she apparently said that she followed a "simple path". This is my adaptation of her answer written in the form of a prayer:

God, your path is really a simple journey...
help us to understand that:
it is in silence where we will discover prayer;
it is in prayer that we will find faith;
in faith we will know love;
and through love will come the willingness
to serve others...
and the result of service
is peace.

Jeanne Adams

********************************************************************

I am often fond of saying that life is one long lesson in humility.

Well, recently I was once again reminded of this truth when I made a somewhat disparaging comment about my slight annoyance with someone’s behavior.

It wasn’t even like me to notice, much less make a comment. I thought (too easily) that I was a person who didn’t judge others. I’ve always agreed with and felt, like Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?” And I tend to be a person who doesn’t talk very much. Also, compassion is extremely high on my bucket list of virtues I would like to aspire to on a consistent basis.

The humility part comes from being totally wrong about my assessment of the situation based on insufficient information and my jumping to conclusions. And so, I learned that I have a much longer way to go when it comes to actually growing in faith and maturity.

Peace,
Jeanne

********************************************************************************************************

Hello again…
Just returned to my usual schedule, so I thought I could start again on my blog.
Following is an exercise I used in several of my classes and this is a way of sharing:
It is an exercise on what it might feel like to experience loss.
(Author is unknown.) Here we go…

***First, write down 10 things that you most enjoy doing:

Now cross out anything that you couldn’t do IF:

You lost your best friend

Your salary was cut in half.

You became disabled.

You lost your spouse o significant other.

You had no transportation.

You were in a nursing home or extended care.

No one showed you any affection.

There are so many people who are experiencing many different
types of losses eg. parents who have lost their children, individuals
who have lost their health, those who have lost hope, safety, security,
purpose, courage, or something to look forward to. The point is that
feelings of loss occur much more and in many other ways than we realize.

Their experience can also be helped by us in many ways. For example,
just a smile to a stranger, simply acknowledging someone’s hurt, calling
to check on someone, a short note sent in the mail, including them in
an activity, remembering someone, or taking time to genuinely listen.
Never underestimate what you can do to serve others. Much is determined
by our ability to be aware and to care…

Have a wonderful week.
Jeanne

_______________________________________________________________________

Just a note: I will be busy for the next few weeks, so there will not be blogs.
I wish everyone a blessed Christmas and happy holiday...

***************************************************

Hi there...
I think you have probably heard this one but I'd like to share it just in case:

I want to thank you, Lord, for being close to me so far
this day. With your help, I haven't been impatient,
lost my temper, been grumpy, judgmental,
or envious of anyone.
But I will be getting out of bed in a minute
and I think I will really need your help then.
-author unknown

   I know this is meant to be humorous (and it is), but at this time of year, right before
the various holidays, eg. Christmas, it can be a serious plea for help because of the frantic activity we place ourselves in. What we seem to forget is that everything we do is a choice and although we want to be a part of something wonderful, often the commercial chaos overwhelms us and creates a great deal of pressure and stress.
Here are a few suggestions that research has found to be effective at reducing stress:

---spend a few minutes each day, or several times a day, and place yourself
  in quiet...with no demands on yourself---even if the bathroom is seemingly the only place
  to find quiet.
---walk outside in a city park or nature area and breathe slowly and deeply.
---concentrate on the reason for the season--where real peace can be found.
---try to fully experience togetherness, church services, special food treats,
presents---or at least the intention, decorations, etc.
---take time to be kind.
---pray for others who have less than you or are lonely, confused, hungry or in pain.

I could go on but I think you get the idea. Put your life into perspective,.. but know that you may
still need God's help...

**************************************************************************

The following interesting thoughts are from another unknown writer. I've adapted a few.
See if you agree:

    I've learned...
that the best classroom
in the world is at the feet of an
elderly person.

I've learned...
that having an infant fall asleep in your arms
is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

    I've learned...
that being kind is more important
than being right.

I've learned...
that no matter how serious your life
requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.

I've learned...
that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned...
that life is like a roll of toilet paper.The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...
that sometimes all a person needs
is a hand to hold and a listening heart to understand.

author unknown
and I've personally learned...
that everything other than love
is just clutter and fluff.

Peace,
Jeanne

*************************************************************************************************

11/18/19

“But if I choose life, what would I do with it?”

The above question was asked of me by a very lonely and depressed woman on a hospital psychiatric unit.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way about living.
I wonder what became of the happiness skills we had as children---the ability to be spontaneous and free, to experience a sense of wonder and appreciation, a sense of discovery and awe. Why do so many adults simply give up on life, sit back and wait for happiness to happen someday?
How much happiness do you, in a sense, give up? Have you lost contact with the joys of living?

Try a simple exercise:

IMAGINE AN IDEAL DAY… If you could do anything you wanted all day, how would you spend your time? Write down 10 favorite activities that you see yourself doing on this ideal day, and then ask yourself: How many of these activities do I do in an average week? How much time do I spend on each activity?
Am I selecting happy times for me? Am I doing what is really important to me?
And if you choose life do you know what to do with it?

*********************************************************************

11/9/19
Ok, being an honest person, I have to admit that this is not something written in the moment. I actually wrote it awhile back. However, with the present drowning of "holiday" commercialism, it seems to fit with today's growing chaos...

Tell Me Again...

The world with its complexities appears to be escalating at too rapid a rate to maintain understanding. As soon as I think I understand one change, another inexplicable one takes place and I am left to simply scratch my head and wonder why. It seems that in the frantic race to be the latest, simplicity, common sense, goodness and quality have all taken a back seat, replaced by things that just don’t feel right. So, for the sake of those of us who haven’t kept up with the reasoning behind all that has changed in society, could you please try and explain?
            For example, tell me again:

---Why natural beauty goes unnoticed or ignored, while garish and bizarre images
    permeate our media.
---How all those insurance companies got their medical degrees.
---Why manufacturers continue to insult consumers by sneakily reducing the
volume of a product until the original size is called “double” with double the
                price.
---How the economy can be doing so well when so many people have to hold two
    minimum wage jobs in order to survive.

Please explain…

---Why we spray our lawns with toxic chemicals that harm children, pets, and
nature; or
---Why we completely destroy acres of trees in order to build a group of high priced houses on barren land, and then call the development “Woodland”  Estates.

---Why, even with all the latest technology, the weather report still
                seems to be wrong half the time.

And while you are at it, could you also tell me again:

---Why we seem to have lost our awareness of what is good and decent,
                respectful and genuine.
---Why people do not listen the first time, why bureaucracies breed
    incompetence, or why there are those who think that to love someone is to
                control that person.
---When did shooting someone became the answer to everyday problems and greed replace integrity?

          Try to explain…

---Why millions are spent on lighting up the sky for 10-minute spectaculars while
    some of America’s children still go hungry.
---Why, when you finally become aware of what is really important in life, time
    passes so quickly.
---How people can teach intolerance and hate, and then wonder why there is so
    much violence, or what happened to getting to know your neighbor and being
    there for each other.

And, remind me, once again, about the importance of:

---Having dreams...
---Believing that I am loveable and capable...
...And, learning how to be kind…

Please, tell me again

******************************************************************

11/2/19
In the moment I'm thinking about all those who may have lost perspective on life..).

I wonder now when it was that I ceased to walk with the fluid motions of one who is young. It seems like only a few months ago that I wasn't taken seriously by those who were wise in the way the world works.

It's almost as if we are deceived into thinking that there really is an optimal time in life when we have it all together. But in reality, it seems that just when our minds and hearts finally begin to feel comfortable with explaining old insecurities and we can smile at ourselves lovingly, the body decides to go on strike--one department at a time.

And so we unfairly go from not having control because of our youth to not having control because of our failing body parts.

Right between young adulthood and middle age someone needs to invent a longer, more recognizable time period during which we can feel both healthy and secure....a time when, at least for the moment, we can feel up to the struggle.

Peace,
Jeanne

You can reach me at jpwriters@aol.com

******************************************************

I Want to Get Off...
10/25/19

Have you ever watched an animal (e.g., dog or cat), sitting and just looking at the world around them? Have you noticed a bird simply sitting on a branch just observing life? Do you ever wonder what they are thinking? Even animals seem to take time to rest and reflect.

    Sometimes we find ourselves lost in an almost constant state of distraction. We go from being distracted by noise to distraction from over stimulation, or agitation from pain and fatigue. Demands on our time and multiple social expectations can lead to a robot-like existence.

When this continues on a daily basis without relief, we can be left with feelings of being overwhelmed, embattled, and confused about life in general. Have you ever felt this way? Well, it seems like this might be a good time to stop the thrill ride and begin to treat the dizziness and confusion. This might be the time to look at life from a new perspective—a perspective of personal peace and simplicity.

Mindfulness really does work. The short but regular time spent in silence and alone can help you look at life from a new viewpoint. It can simplify what seems overwhelmingly difficult and create a new you--someone who can answer daily demands with calmness and confidence. Just remember that now is the only real time. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination.

Peace,
Jeanne

Questions, comments, suggestions? I'd love to hear from you, especially if you have any blog subjects that you might like.

You can e-mail me at JPwriters@aol.com.



***********************************************************************************

10/20/19
  Recently a lot has been said about clutter and its effect on those who are unable to control it.
Sitting here (in the moment), I am aware of how easy it is to produce clutter without seeing it until it begins to overwhelm. As I look around my office, there are piles (neat piles) but so many that I don’t know what specifically is in them. In fact, it almost looks like a wanna-be professional hoarder. (I wonder what happened to my seeking simplicity and mindfulness).

Yes, my piles seem to have purpose. But do my many projects and pending works justify this? It looks like an office of someone who may live in the moment, but is terribly disorganized in the moment. It is an affront to my integrity.
   So, what can I do to fix the situation? Well, I could diminish the piles by putting them all into one pile and create a pretend organized environment. Or I could stuff them all into bulging office files and never find them again. I could do mini fixes like stop paying bills, stop writing and submitting manuscripts, and take the time to finally put my recipe book together. Not gonna happen…all
   There are two days free, today and tomorrow, that have no commitments other than college football. Should I spend my time on Facebook and Pinterest or become the organized person I wish I were by clearing off some of the noncritical piles?

  Ok, help me, what do you think?…

************************************************************************

What are you looking for?

In the moment I am thinking about the concept of happiness, peace of mind, and what really works to achieve them.

Awhile back there was some research on what is absolutely necessary for peace of mind (happiness). Following is my adaptation of the factors that had the greatest number:

1. Shun suspicion and resentment. Keeping a grudge has been found to pull down happiness levels an average of 50 percent.

2. Live in the present. Most unhappiness comes from an unwholesome preoccupation with the mistakes and failures of the past. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. It is as vital to your happiness as forgiving others.

3. Don't waste time and energy fighting conditions you can't change
There is little you can do to heal the incurable disease of a loved one, or change the personality of those with whom you live. So stop hitting your head against the wall.

4. When you find yourself in a state of emotional stress, reach out to others instead of retreating within and building a prison of loneliness.

5. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues of love, humor, thrift and church attendance, etc.

6. Stop expecting too much of yourself. When there is too wide a gap between the standards you set for yourself and actual achievement, Unhappiness is inevitable. If you can't improve the performance, try lowering the demands instead.

7. Self-centered materialistic people score lowest on the Duke University tests for measuring happiness. While those are are high in altruism and wholesome religious attitudes generally come out with the top happiness ratings.
Author unknown
(There is much more about happiness in my book, HAPPINESS--Hidden in Plain Sight. It can be purchased through my website here.)

As always, I wish you peace...
Jeanne

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Don’t you wish you could slow down
the pace of life?

It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation, but it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace..

Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up.

Whatever the reason, it is worth it to try—in a simple way. Give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace with no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life, and living will have more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…

Now is the Time

I’ve often thought that most of us live life backwards. It seems that we tend to place all the important things on the back burner and to spend copious amounts of time on non-essentials, especially early in life. We allow negative things from the past and fearful imaginations of our future to control the time we have now—the only real time there is.
I wonder what would happen if we turned things around and spent our energy, thoughts, and awareness on the important things now.
Someday soon I would like to be able to slow down enough to experience all and only the good things that happen in the moment. I will take time to be aware of what is going on around me---to finally realize that this time and only this time is life.
Now is really the time to be grateful, to listen, to try to understand, and to love. Now is the time to be aware, to look at beauty, to learn, to be kind. Right now someone needs you. Right now there is pain in someone’s eyes. Right now someone needs to hear that they are loved.
What would happen if instead of continuing to live lives of quiet desperation, we listened in silence to the soft voice of God within us? Would we possibly then be able to see the God within each other?
Choice…what a wonderful gift.

*********************************************************************************

A Quick Perspective on Life

In the span of a lifetime, we learn many useful
insights that can help create a perspective on life.

For example, Life is always and only right here, right now, this moment... Think about it. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination. However, if that promotion brings your 15 minutes of fame, you may discover that it is superficial. And we know that Publishers Clearing House will probably never visit... but God is always with us.

It can take awhile for some people to realize that a great amount of happiness comes from the ability to be positive and aware of goodness.
Beauty is all around us, but some people spend their lives fixated on trash. Few are aware that negative thinking only makes pain worse.

One of the hardest thoughts to assimilate for some is that we are all children of God --- and the family needs you. As the world seems to decay around us, and at times the skies are an endless gray with only patches of blue, we try to look for good news. But the overwhelming negative conditions seem to be blocking our search. So, we are stuck with basically two choices. We can sink to new levels of low morality, lack of integrity, greed, disrespect of others, and negativity, or we can seek out what is good, kind, trustworthy,and naturally beautiful---and become the good person we are hoping to meet.

It's your choice...do you see that patch of blue?

One last insight: Genuine love is the immediate and final answer to everything...

*****************************************

How to give yourself a hug…

---put your “To Do” list on hold temporarily and simply “be”
---spend time around those you love without any
   electronic devices
---make a steaming cup of hot tea or cocoa
---wrap up in a throw blanket and engage in a good book
            ---sink into in a warm bubble bath
            ---allow yourself time for a nap
            ---buy fresh flowers just for you
            ---enjoy a special ice cream treat
            ---relax with your favorite CD
            ---buy an impulsive inexpensive gift
            ---snuggle with a pet
---put on comfortable, loose fitting clothes
            ---if available, relax in a hot tub
            ---feel the freshness of clean sheets and a warm blanket
            ---take time to make a special breakfast and enjoy
            ---sit back in a recliner chair and browse through a favorite magazine
            ---give yourself do not disturb time
            ---put your right hand on your left shoulder,
                your left hand on your right shoulder,
                and remind yourself that you are worth it…

*******************************************************

It’s nice outside. Sunny and warm. The trees are quivering in the breeze and the birds are racing across my view. I finally have quiet and my own time. I find that this is essential to having a spiritual life that is meaningful to me. There is so much to see when looking out a window into nature, and I am grateful to have a view like this. Focusing on nature has been shown to almost automatically create a relaxed feeling and frame of mind.

Of course, focusing, in our chaotic and unsure world, is difficult for all of us. It seems that we can’t get over the rushed schedule that we have made for ourselves. Always adding another activity appointment, agreeing to another request, learning the rules and language of yet another sport, preparing for a too soon family invitation, etc. We seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to catch up with ourselves.

I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if all of us took just ten minutes every day to listen to silence through meditation and mindfulness. Would we eventually slow down the rest of the day? Would we more likely keep what is really important to us on our minds? Would we find it easier to be kind?

There is so much that silence can teach us. Try listening to the quiet and if you hear God whispering, listen to the message. It is probably in the quote by Dr. Jarold Jampolsky, Teach only love. The only time is now…

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. Life is full of minute-by-minute choices. Every choice that we make determines not only how we are changed, but also how the world around us is changed.

We can choose to reach out to our environment with a sense of curiosity, wonder, respect and appreciation. As a result, our lives can be filled with enjoyment, playfulness, and peace of mind. It's largely a question of attitude and personal actions.

It has to do with who we are. If we see a world of possibilities, it is because we look around us with a positive outlook on life. If we see a world that is dangerous and threatening, we can become someone who is fearful. Every thing we do, every choice we make, changes the world. By choosing to be happy with determination and conviction, we start a process of positive thinking that allows love to come in to our lives--and into the world.
Be at peace within...

*******************************************

It seems that wisdom is actually hard to discover or obtain. Books will help, but only to a point. Wisdom seems to come with steady observance without prejudice and much reflection on your own and others' behavior.

The more time I spend in the chaotic world of human interactions, the more I realize how often we simply get it all wrong. Some of the things I have come to know are so opposite what we generally see as truth. For example, along with others I have discovered.....
                   ---that the more we hurt, the more self-absorbed we become.

---that the ability to put things into perspective is critical to dealing with stress, pressure, chaos, disappointments, twists and turns in relationships, and general upsetting occurrences in life.....and that the person with the most personal power is the one who has this ability—to put things into perspective.

---that people who choose to consistently function at the user relationship level are left with families and friendships that are dysfunctional, superficial, and lacking in trust and love.

---that the strongest person is the one who refuses to be pulled down to the level of behavior that includes manipulation, gossip, criticism, and put downs of others.

---that the most mature person has no need to be aligned with whoever is perceived to have the most power, the most popularity, or the most attention at the moment.

          ---that cleverness is not nearly as attractive as compassion or kindness.

---and I now know that the more we can quiet our minds, the more we are able to let peace come into our lives.

**************************************************************************

Although there are many more Life Enrichment Skills like humor & playfulness, spontaneity, enthusiasm, etc.,I am going to end this monologue with the skill of Compassion.

This is one of the most important yet difficult skills to master because it takes awareness, caring, respect for an individual, and empathy to even start. Compassion not only has sympathetic feelings for another hurting person, but takes a major step forward that brings humanity to a new level. Compassion makes an attempt to help a suffering situation. And it is the action of reaching out to another that sets it apart from just feeling sorry for another in pain or discomfort.

Probably the best known story that demonstrates compassion is the story of the good Samaritan. It can be found in the New Testament and is the story about the Samaritan who stops to help a stranger who was beaten by robbers. He took the man to a place where he could be cared for and paid for the man's care, leaving extra money for further needs.This occurred after several people had gone by, saw the victim of the robbery on the ground but walked on, doing nothing to help.

It is difficult to reach out to someone in need. It can make us vulnerable to unknown circumstances and reactions. But no matter what religion we follow, reaching out to anyone suffering is usually one of the basic behaviors expected of all who are sincerely living our faith...even just a smile or statement of caring.

Compassion includes elements of gentleness and respect for all who are in need. So, if you see someone who has mastered the skill of Compassion, it will be one of the most beautiful scenes you will ever remember.

Peace...

Jeanne

************************************************************

Ok, just a couple more Life Enrichment Skills. This one is Curiosity.
Do you remember as a child, being curious about everything? You would pick up a leaf or find a toad, lay down on the grass and wonder about the clouds.You might have wondered about the stars and where you came from.Children have a delightful sense of curiosity. They are awed by the world around them and search for explanations. In a recent book, I have over 500 ideas of positive things that seem to be lost as we grow up.I feel that they are hidden in plain sight, but we don't see many of them.Curiosity as an adult allows you search for the beauty in life.

I suggest that the best place to start to become curious again is in nature.There are endless opportunities to help you have wonderful experiences. And it has been proven that being in nature enhances relaxation. I hope you will try to develop a sense of curiosity. It is a way of becoming alive again as most of us are living by rote.

Have you wondered about any clouds recently?

*****************************************************************

One of the great Life Enrichment Skills is Creativity. (I can hear you say, "but I'm not creative.") You can be and it will open up a freedom
that you may never knew existed.
The difficulty with creativity is the need at the start to be relaxed and not feel you have to be in control. It is also necessary to not worry about being judged. You see, creativity involves use of the right side of the brain--the non-controlling side.To be creative, you need to simply let go of having to control everything, be open to new things, and see possibilities, etc.

Do you remember having a hobby or a favorite activity as a child? I'll bet that might have given you a sense of freedom. Do you ever get so lost in an enjoyable interest that you lose track of time? This is called "flow" and is in the realm of creativity.It is healthy, and has the potential for a creative experience.There was an art therapist I knew who answered the statement, "I can't draw" by saying, "just make a mark." This would usually help to start the creative juices flowing.

With a daily life that is so regimented yet chaotic, it is definitely worth it to do something creative as part of your life..There are so many possibilities to be creative.
Just make a mark...

Jeanne

****************************************************

One Life Enrichment Skill that you might not imagine is simple Awareness. This is the ability to notice things outside of yourself. Ironically we have become a society that has made it much more difficult to be aware. The almost constant absorption in digital communication has left us with crooked posture, sore necks, and still another addiction.

Awareness isn't always a skill that we think of as wonderful to possess. Although it opens us up to some of the beauty and goodness in life, it also allows an openness to things like the needs of others and the pain and poverty of life. And once awareness of negativity and suffering becomes known, there is the problem of deciding how to respond. This can include the response to a friend who is sick and would benefit from a note or card, deciding to volunteer where there is a real need, actively trying to change laws that are insufficient or wrong, offering random acts of kindness, etc.

Awareness puts us in the position of being open to learning new things. It helps to take us above the level of user relationships. Of course it is much easier to keep our heads in the sand (or in our phones), but awareness can be the first step to a genuine spiritual and caring life, and in the end this is what matters...

Jeanne

*******************************************************

Another Life Enrichment Skill is the ability to enjoy yourself. But wait, when was the last time you really enjoyed yourself? For some people it has been a very long time...

I think very few people know how to enjoy the goodness that life has to offer. Enjoyment can come from many different avenues.You can enjoy food, art, sports, nature experiences, recognition at work, finishing a difficult task, playing with pets,driving a new car for the first time, receiving a present, watching something beautiful, listening to meaningful music, etc. These are just a few examples.

I'm sure you have observed that most people ( especially while on vacation or at an event) try to take something home with them by repeatedly using whatever camera is
available to remember the experience. The problem is that they miss the experience. So, many of the good feelings that might have gone with actually experiencing the situation are lost. And many times enjoyment is lost.

This is where mindfulness might help.because to live in the moment and silence the noise in you head, opens yourself up to what you are experiencing. After all, now is life; now is the only time we have to live. The past is just memories and the future is expectations.

I hope you will allow yourself to be aware of each moment and to feel good about something. Now is the only real time that you have.Enjoy yourself...

Jeanne

**********************************************************

Ok, The next Life Enrichment Skill is Appreciation. This is what allows us to to be moved by beauty or to become enthusiastic about another persons' competence, (ie. usually a sports figure, etc.).Other examples are our appreciation of Grandmas' apple pie, the best coffee we have ever tasted, or the bigger than normal tip we received.

In many ways appreciation precedes gratitude. After all, it is hard to be grateful for something we don't appreciate. Appreciation opens the door to all the good things in life. Look at the above picture. It can be seen as just a picture of water or as a waterfall that gently flows in a peaceful way. It's obvious that to appreciate the details of a nature scene is to have more enjoyment. Often when someone really appreciates a particular thing, they become expert hobbyists in the field. For example, someones' appreciation of wine can lead to them becoming a wine connoisseur.

It seems that without the ability to appreciate life we are left with a life of rote and boredom. So, can you slow down and take the time to develop the art and skill of appreciation? There is so much beauty out there...

Wishing you a peaceful week.

Jeanne

*******************************************************************

Life Enrichment Skills ---what really add quality to our lives. The second one in my series is a sense of Wonder.

Do you remember when you were young and the whole day was filled with amazing surprises that sparked your curiosity more? A sense of wonder is the ability to say "Oh, Wow!" at life, to be actively aware of beauty, talent, goodness, etc. It fills us with positive energy and makes the world brighter. And it increases our ability to appreciate the gifts that we have been given.

We can wonder at something or about something. For example, we can wonder at the presence of a newborn infant or wonder about how decorative cakes are made. But when we talk about a sense of wonder we usually mean to wonder at something wonderful.

This is one of those skills that children have naturally, but as we grow up we seem to lose. One time I was with a client sitting by a stream when three Canada geese came down and did a simultaneous perfect landing on the water. My spontaneous response was, "Oh wow! did you see that?" But from her perspective, it was just another mundane situation. Lack of a sense of wonder can occur because of many things like depression, grief, self-absorption, loss, etc. But it can be renewed.

Suggestions for renewing a sense of wonder: Spend more time in nature; be aware of sights and sounds; allow yourself to be silent; consider the importance of living in the now as much as possible since now is the only time we really have; begin to be aware and appreciate small experiences that have been taken for granted.

Go in peace...

*********************************************

6/29/19

Okay, I don't have anything material to pass out, but I have "something much more valuable"...
Life Enrichment skills and gifts are the real things that help make us happier individuals. There is no cost, no price--they are free. However, we seem to have lost many of them along the way. We tend to have been sidetracked by society.
What I would like to do is to increase awareness of what some of the Life Enrichment Skills are so you can practice (maybe again).There are approximately 15 to 20 of them. The next several blogs will be my meager thoughts--in the moment, on a variety of Life Enrichment skills that add genuine value to our lives.

The first life enrichment skill is Gratitude. This is the ability, no matter what our situation is, to be grateful for what we have been given. Some of the happiest people in the world have very few material items. In reality, material goods are not necessary for happiness. Many of us have been given the wrong message that the more we have the more successful we are, and if we can only acquire more we will obtain peace of mind. With this wrong message can come a sense of entitlement, and a belief that others do not deserve what we should be entitled to.
Gratitude helps us realize that all though all that we have may be more or less than what others have, we are gifted with numerous things to be grateful for. Gratitude can change our attitude and give us satisfaction and acceptance.It takes us off our podium and places us firmly on the ground with all of our other brothers and sisters.

So, what are you grateful for?
When was the last time you said "thank you" and sincerely meant it?

Peace be with you...
Jeanne

************************** 6/22/19 Hi there... You may be aware that there are four basic ethical principles that we as human beings need to follow or at least hold true.They are the ethical principles that are taught in all healthcare professions.
(Too bad they are not consistently taught in other professions such as business and politics.)

I can't help but wonder what would happen if each of us chose our behavior with these in mind...

First--Do no harm
Make things better
Respect others
Be fair
Be honest

Ok, who's the smart one that noticed there are five listed?
And there is even one more ethical principle that Jesus gives us: Be loving to all.

When I wrote this last sentence I was so tempted to put it in the past tense, eg..Jesus gave us...But I think we tend to then use his teaching as just something in the past rather than today, and today is the only time we have to love others...

Be at peace...
Jeanne

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It’s one of those days that is almost summer but not quite. It’s even better. The sky is blue and the trees become a sparkle field when I look up through them. The temperature is between 60/70. This is my favorite kind of day—the type where the weather allows no reason for negative thinking. Here and now I feel good, positive, and kind. It is a day—like any other day really, where the environment does its’ best to help with happiness.
It is interesting how once I am in a positive mood it leads to awareness of other positives. I am more aware and appreciative of the bluebird I saw on the fence yesterday or the catbird meowing outside my office window. I am glad to get a magazine in the mail. It will be added to my reading list tonight (one of my favorite parts of the day.) With my senses on alert for some of the good things in life I feel like I can be my best in whatever situation occurs. Relaxation causes this but mindfulness and meditation also can. They all have the ability to put me in the now--
the true reality.
I wonder why I need things outside myself to be prompts for being my best. Couldn’t I just be reminded that learning to be my best, along with learning to love are the two main goals in life. Sounds easy but is very difficult. If only it could go on regularly, consistently, without over thinking. If only it would always be easy to feel positive. If only I would spend more time with the silence that is peace…

************************************************************

My new senior bucket list...

Being of the age where I am bombarded with wisdom, I’ve discovered that I need to adjust my lifetime bucket list because my body is not being cooperative. So, the following are what I hope to do before I die.

--Finish my racy novel and send it to Harlequin.
--Watch the Cleveland Browns play in the Super Bowl.
--Review my vacation pictures of the top of Mt. Everest.
--Re-gift my husband.
--Stay up once a week after 9:00 pm.
--Get my scooter detailed.
--Go on a zip line ride through virtual reality.
--Finally earn the medical degree I have been seeking--one body part at a time.
--Use my lifetime collection of fruit cakes for Christmas gifts.
--Get rid of all Christmas wrapped boxes from 1960.
--Definitely finish the wine left over from my sister’s wedding in 1954.
--For the first time, treat my family to dinner on my good china.

Wish me luck…

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The Present of Your Life

Present is a rich word in two senses. It means gift and it means now.
That describes your life too. It is a gift, and it is happening now.
As you read these words, you are living your life. Your life isn’t something that’s going to happen once you’ve rehearsed the right lines or saved up enough money or found the right spouse or landed the perfect job or moved to the perfect place, etc. Your life is happening every moment and you can’t escape or postpone it. What you’re doing now is spending a small portion of your life reading this. You are using part of that gift that is your life. And you need to use that gift as well and as wisely as you know how with a sense of responsibility, truthfulness, wisdom,and compassion.

The following truths or facts of life are starting points from which new growth and
happiness can occur:

----- No one can bring your life to you
----- No matter what you do in life, someone important to you isn’t going
to like it at times.
-----   Though it’s painful, rejection won’t kill you--- and it may even
  lead to growth.
-----   Every choice means giving up something else.
----- Some people are not capable of giving you what you want from them.
----- The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
----- Life is a continuous range of possibilities, not an on/off switch.
-----    Some problems cannot be solved, but you can make peace with them.
  adapted from On a Clear Day You
                                                                                     Can See Yourself   by
                                                                                     Dr. Sonya Friedman

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5/11/19

Many of us are aware of the Serenity Prayer, but most have only heard the first half of the prayer. I feel the second half is equally as useful so I want to share the the whole version with you:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Grant me patience with the changes that take time,
an appreciation for all that I have,
a tolerance of those with
different struggles, and the strength to get up
and try again one day at a time.

************************************************

5/3/19


  Necessary “How To” skills you never learned in school…

   A while back I had written a blog on critical “how to” skills you never learned in school. By request, I have added some additional necessary skills that go with the challenges of adulthood.

See if you agree…

            ---How to handle suffering in your life
            ---How to keep perspective when things seem overwhelming
            ---seeing beyond political rhetoric and commercial manipulation
            ---learn to be at peace with yourself
            ---How to prioritize your needs so that effort is spent on the
  most important
---listening to advice from an older person (who may know what is really
               important)
            ---How to raise children in a constantly changing society
---going beyond tolerance to seeing the dignity of each individual
---learning to focus on all that is good and let go of what drags you down
---How to live in the now with awareness and without judgment
---How to gradually reduce your ego and get out of yourself
---realizing that love is a verb…

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal.
Take time to go in peace…

**********************************************************

Happy Easter to all Christians out there. Easter and Holy Week are the basis of our religious and life beliefs.
But because of my own difficulty in living the life of a Christian I wonder, sometimes, if we really know what we should be doing in order to genuinely call ourselves Christians.
So, here are some things that I believe illustrate what are important if we want to actually claim the title:

It seems to me that you'll know you're a Christian when---

---You see everyone as your neighbor.
---You take your faith to work (and wherever you are)
---"Oh my God" is more than an exclamation of surprise.
---Prayer becomes a daily conversation with God.
---The light shinning in the darkness is you reflecting God's love.
---Lifting up others becomes a daily exercise.
---Your preaching is "wordless"
---"Come follow me" takes you in a different direction than the crowd.
---Compassion is actively lived.
---Your car knows the way to Church as much as to Walmart.
---Choosing forgiveness is more important than being righteous.
---Learning to love is your main goal in life.
---Jesus Christ is by far the biggest hero you know.
---Someone' s need is more important than your want.
---You accept people where they are.
---You take loving action toward anyone in need.
---etc.

Now the hard part is being consistent (ie. faithful)...

******************************
4/12/19

Jumping Over Quicksand

Seldom do we know when life is about to throw us yet another challenge. It creeps up and strikes so quickly that we only have time for the usual defensive rote reaction to a stressful situation. This is the reaction that slams the door on any pretense of gaining understanding or perspective on the situation.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself on a daily basis, and especially when we find ourselves in one of these situations. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego eliminating, like letting go of control and getting rid of self-absorption.
It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have power over our lives. Much of our time is spent in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, i.e., protection of our self-esteem, the need for control, trying to justify our very existence. If only we could instantly know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely are playing the control/power game.
But no matter what condition we find ourselves in, God’s call is always to learn to love...

++++++++++++++++++++++++

3/19

It’s snowing again, a gentle but steady snow. It’s the kind that makes you want to go into hibernation and slow down the pace of life.
It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation. When I say this it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace..
Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up.
Whatever the reason, it probably is worth it to try—in a simple way. Aim to give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace. Give no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life and living has more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…

In the Moment...

2/10/19

Hello again...
I'm one of those people who rarely get frustrated and feel irritable about something negative in my life such as breaking something or making a mess and having to clean it up. I usually just go ahead and fix the situation. But today, when I came on line to copy a blog that I had just written yesterday, I found it gone, floating somewhere in space, and I was left frustrated by what happened. But being the practical human that I am, I finally realized that what must have happened is that I forgot to post it. Arrrgh!!!...
So, what am I supposed to learn from this?
Well, I guess my words are not as important as they might seem, and the world will certainly continue on without them. Maybe losing something is a way of taking the ego down a notch by pointing
out what is not really important. So life goes on one moment at a time and living in the moment gives a chance to decide how to respond to frustrating situations, such as loss of our work. Every minute we have a choice...

1 Comment

In the Moment...

1/3/2019

1 Comment

Hello again...
Well, with a new year usually goes the encouragement to make a brand new you--a better, lighter, freer, resolved you. Much easier said than done.

A cute cartoon on facebook showed two characters sitting side by side. The one asks the other what a resolution is. The other one says, "It is a promise you make to yourself for the first week of January." Of course, grabbing on to life with the intention of a complete makeover is admirable, but it is probably going to be a failure.The point I'm making, (because I am familiar with failures), is that real change takes place in smaller increments. Change is more likely to be a success if little changes are made into habits. For example, if you want want to drastically turn your stress level down and feel more in control of your life, you are more likely to be successful if you simply work on spending five minutes a day in meditation and "in the moment" awareness while putting your life in perspective with what is really important to you.
Stress is less overwhelming when you can step back and put things into perspective. Try the smaller approach and see if it works for you...

12/20/18

Something a little bit different to remind us in the middle of all the commercial hype why there was a special baby born on Christmas day, who is still teaching us to care...

To the One-Legged Homeless Woman
in the Pouring Rain

Teddy Macker

When I passed you on my way home
I didn't think about you
nor feel a hairs breath of sympathy.

I was talking about someone at work,
how sh'd pissed me off in an e-mail.
"She's so curt," I think I said.

It wasn't untill hours later
while looking at the sky,
a sky whose size unsteadied me,
that I started thinking of you,
you and others like you,
all the human beings on this planet
suffering simultaneously,
the hundreds, thousands, millions...
How incomprehensible, I thought,
standing there on my covered porch

while you stood on one leg
on a traffic median,
hungry and homeless
in a ruined side of Baltimore
in the pouring rain.

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The 10th Fact of Life that can make you a happier person is:

Help is only a prayer away...

Even if you are not religious, you can find comfort and perspective in the above statement. Research has shown that people who attend church on a regular basis are to a certain extent happier then those who do not. Although God already knows what is happening in you life, there can be an increase in personal peace through prayer. Try it...

I hope these areas of life that I have presented over the weeks have helped in some way.
May peace be with you...Jeanne

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Ok., the ninth fact of life that can make you a better and happy
person is:

Knowing that love is an action

It is very easy to tell someone we love them. People do it all the time in a superficial and offhand way when the phrase is used as a Goodbye or as a lighthearted remark such as "Love you guys..." But real, genuine love is a verb in that there is always a way of showing love in addition to simply saying the phrase, "I love you..." To love someone is to wish and to do good for the person. It is a choice that is made to help someone grow as an individual. When love involves mostly or only feelings it is probably an infatuation.

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Number 8 on the list of Facts of life that can make you a happier person:
Every minute can begin a new life.

Sounds too simple doesn't it? But in many ways it is true. By just sorting out priorities and putting things into perspective, a different way of seeing the world can occur.

Also, by just changing your attitude you can experience a whole new way of living. New and better choices can always be made--minute by minute...

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The 7th fact of life that can make you a happier person is this:

Having things in perspective will keep you from going crazy...

To maintain perspective know what is really important to you.Ask yourself what your reason for being alive is; what is your main goal in life, what do you value most, and what kind of person do you want to be...? If you can keep things like this in mind then everything else will fall into place in terms of priority. Situations that might overwhelm can be put into perspective, e.g., "will it really matter tomorrow, next week?" Stress can be radically reduced by putting things into perspective...think about it.

The 6th fact of life that will make you a happier person is,

Realizing that forgiveness means letting go of pain.

We are all hurt at sometime in our lives, usually by someone we think we love or by a situation that involves unfairness of some kind. Often, if we dwell on it, we can become stuck in a very unhappy life. To forgive is to help remove the pain and begin to live again. It may take some time, but forgiving is
almost always the best choice.

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Ok, the 5th fact of life that can make you a happier person is this:

Realizing that you cannot change someone else.

So many people make the mistake thinking that they have some control over another person such as a spouse or a grown adult child. It can be very frustrating when the person doesn't make the changes that you think necessary. And you end up thinking "if only I could love him more," etc. Choices always belong to the individual.

You will feel freer if you can give up the notion of thinking that if only you love enough, you can change the behavior of another. Love them, yes..pray for them, yes...teach them, yes...but realize that any change has to come from choices made by the individual...

The fourth fact of life that can make you a happier person is this:

Enjoyment doesn't cost very much.

You see, how we feel to a large extent follows what we think about. If our thoughts are positive, then we will generally have positive feelings. And if we choose to dwell on the negative...well, you've been there.

There are so many happy elements all around us that we miss every day. And none of them cost anything.We just need a positive attitude and awareness,and maybe a little gratitude.
How do you feel when you imagine things like a cool breeze on a hot summer day, or discovering a rainbow, or watching kindness in others? These are examples of experiences that can lift you up.
So, try opening your eyes and look for positive possibillties...it will be worth it.

(These are examples from my book, Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight, I have included over 500 instancies of positive experiences, most of which cost nothing or very little.)

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Ok, the next fact of life is one that some people seem to never feel comfortable with. They constantly spend their lives looking for someone who will make them happy. Of course this never works if dependence is on the other person.

The fact is: You are responsible for your own happiness.

All the answers for finding happiness are within you, and they can be found if you begin with self-respect, a sense of personal responsibility, trust in God and self, etc.I once had a stuffed bear that gave messages when the line in his back was pulled out. He would say things like, "You can do it, Teddy-o." That simple sentence that was humorous earlier became a helpful motivator when I was in serious physical therapy recently.So, don't be afraid to become the power source for your own happiness..."You can do it..."
Be good to yourself...
---Jeanne

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Ok, the second fact of life that can make you a happier person is one of the hardest for many people to acknowledge, so take note and think about it. There is freedom behind the following statement:

You are not responsible for anyone else's thoughts,
feelings, or behaviors.

So many people hang on to unnecessary guilt because they feel responsible for a loved one's poor choices. They think, "If only I had..." or "If I were good enough this wouldn't have happened..." You cannot change another person.You can only support and be an example for them. When you are able to understand and accept this fact, you will be free to care at a higher level.
---Jeanne

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Would you go with me on another series that looks at life from a different angle?

It is from 10 facts of life that can make you a happier person. I'll try to explain a little about each one, but what they mean to you is more important....

Ok, this is the first one: You really are unique in all the world. There will never be a person exactly like you again. No one will ever have the same physical features that you have. No one will ever look at life in the same way that you do. No one will ever have the exact same values that you do.
No one will ever have the potential for seeing, doing, and being the best you.

Never underestimate what you can do to make the world a better place.
author unknown

Think about it...

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Don't know if I shared this with you, but you might enjoy seeing it...

The Symptoms of Inner Peace:

---an unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
---a loss of interest in judging self or others ---frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
---losing the ability to worry
---contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
---increased mindfulness and ability to live in the now
---loss of interest in conflict
---increased ability and desire to be kind and loving

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Last question: Please think about this seriously because it refers to the amount of personal control available to you whether you realize it or not.

---How do I create most of my own unhappiness and disappointments in life?

Often, we self sabotage our happiness by placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves or on others. We are then disappointed when things do not work out the way we expected.

Possible action: Consider what might happen if you stopped expecting others to read your mind, to know what you might want, to fulfill needs that you can do for yourself, etc. Consider what it would take for you to be responsible for your own happiness because you really are responsible.

Hope these 10 questions have helped create some insights for you. Please remember that the only time is now. Don't miss it...

week 9

Second last "therapy" question:

---Is it “No demand time”?

We all need regular time periods when we can allow ourselves to just be; where there are no demands, expectations, or obligations; where we can become absorbed in meditation,
quiet or prayer.

Possible action: Beginning today allow yourself at least 5 minutes each day with no demands on yourself. Tell yourself that there is absolutely nothing you have to do during this time. Maybe you could simply listen to the quiet voice of God.

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Week 8

Only a few more insight questions to go. I hope at least one or two has given you a better understanding of part of life. Of course, in a real counseling session there can be many more depending on what is going on with each of us.

So, here is question 8:

Over what do I really have control in a particular situation that is bothering me?

We can expend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things when, in reality, we have no control over them. This has a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life in a positive way.
Possible action: Ask yourself, “Am I responsible for anything in this situation?” If yes, do your best to solve, to help, etc. If no, let go and trust in God’s providence.

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Week 7

---What do I most need to learn in my life right now?

We all have learning needs at various points in life. New learning can help keep us alive and growing. However, we need to trust in God’s love in order to be open to making positive changes based on what insights we might gain.

What particular situation might be teaching you that can be useful down the road. What positive insights can I gain from an otherwise difficult experience?

*********************************************************************************************8

Week 6

How is it going so far? Are you starting to get a better perspective on life?

Have you ever given yourself “peace time,” filled with no demands? Have you ever carefully eliminated all the things you should have done or had to do and replaced them only with what you wanted to do? It’s amazing how much can be accomplished by trying not to accomplish anything. It can feel a little like a grazing horse in a pasture as you smoothly flow from one experience to another, gently chomping off small shoots of fresh living.
Once all of the pressure of striving to finish something is removed, it is much easier to take things one-step at a time. Instead of procrastinating and consequently getting little accomplished, you can be able to simply flow smoothly from one adventure to another. And looking at the day this way can allow you to live in the present, moment by moment. Somehow awareness of good things is amplified when you do this, and you may discover that you have been tripping over happiness in your rush to find the perfect life.

Week 6 Question:---Where in my daily life do I find the greatest sense of peace?
Possible action: Go there…more often!

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Week # 5
---#5 For which of God’s gifts am I most grateful?

So many things in daily life seem important but are not. In one of my books I refer to them as the 'urgent unnecessary'. For example, we might think that attending a particular party or meeting or social event is vital to our life at the moment, but what is really needed might be time spent with another individual or alone.

By asking this question we are forced to look at what is most important in our lives. This is essential for putting things into perspective and out of this order peace will come. Also, gratitude is vital for true inner peace.

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Week #4
How are you doing so far? If you are seriously considering the questions, then they may be helping you to grow in your relationships and personal understanding. Following is the fourth question:

#4--What is my hidden expectation in a particular situation or relationship?
Many times we allow others to unintentionally hurt us by having unexpressed or unrealistic expectations of them that they are unaware of or unable to fulfill.

Possible action: Next time let someone know what you want or need directly. Realize that as much as someone may love you, no one can read you mind or your heart.

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OK, this week we have question #3 of our free "therapy" questions. I hope you are seriously considering these...

---#3 Of what am I really afraid?

Many times when we are angry, upset, or indecisive, it is because of some hidden fear: e.g. the fear of losing something or someone.

Possible actions: Next time you are experiencing negative feelings, look at what is happening in the situation or relationship. Remind yourself that the phrase “Be not afraid” is expressed 365 times in the Bible.

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Below is question #2 in my series of how to feel better and find the happiness that is hidden in plain sight in your life. Together these are the "therapy" questions designed to help put your life in perspective:

---#2 When was the last time I really enjoyed myself?

When we haven’t been taking care of ourselves we can begin to lose touch with positive feelings. It is important to know what we find enjoyable and fun.
Possible action: Picture the last time you were totally absorbed in an enjoyable activity. What did it feel like? Promise to do something good for yourself today.

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Ok. I’m finally back and will be offering FREE “Therapy” in a series of weekly blogs designed to put things in perspective in your life. This is not the type of psychological help that takes you into the past. Instead It will help you look at the present, (the only real time there is), and allow you to make simple changes that can greatly improve your life. I hope you will join me on this easy quest….

(And thank you so much for all of your prayers during my extended physical challenges over the past year. I genuinely appreciate it and know that they helped.)

So, here is the first “How to really feel better” session in the form of a question:

#1 What do I wish would happen in my life right now?

ACTION: Picture in your mind what
you would have if a major problem/obstacle
was eliminated. What positive actions can you
make toward that goal?

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FYI...

6/30/2017

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Due to a medical emergency and subsequent surgeries, I have been unable to update my website and blog.

Hopefully, I am on the mend but it is going to take awhile to find "me" again. I never dreamed that I would be out of commission for this length of time. Please keep me in your prayers and check back. Thanks for your patience...Jeanne

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December 04th, 2016

12/4/2016

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   Many children remember being sent to the corner or to their room to experience quiet time in order to, hopefully, make different choices about their erratic and unacceptable behavior.
   As adults, sometimes we desperately need a timeout from life in order to make better choices. We need to get in the habit of stepping aside, standing back, slowing down, and listening within. That is how we can discover if we are living with integrity.
   I wonder what would result if each of us could have a quiet room in our homes for spending time alone at least once a day in order to diffuse our stressed filled lives. Sitting in silence for awhile can be one of the best ways to find peace within ourselves.

   They say that God speaks to us in the quiet of our hearts and the finest prayer is one where we simply listen without asking for anything.

   How about taking time out each day to just be? You might discover peace…

                                                                                                                  ©Jeanne Adams

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November 12th, 2016

11/12/2016

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    I know that our lives may feel scrambled right now… And the real problem is that life and todays’ frightening situation isn’t a game.

   Sometimes life throws us a curve filled with anxiety, anger, and angst…leaving us lost and fearful of what is to be. It is as if our entire state of security has been placed in upheaval. Even our imagination can go wild when it isn’t grounded in trust.

   This is the time when we wish we didn’t have the insight, the knowledge, the awareness to see potential negative changes. It would be so much easier to look at our situation through the eyes of a child who knows all will be made well, the situation will be fixed—by someone else.

   It seems to me that life will always throw us curve balls, even major ones.
But when that happens, I want to pray, “Ok, God…we really need you this time. It feels like we have stepped into quicksand and need to be grounded again. Please help us to not lose our way.”

   Who or what grounds you with goodness when all seems to be out of focus? We need to hang on to that…but be vigilant.

                                                                                                                            ©Jeanne Adams

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November 01st, 2016

11/1/2016

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The leaves outside my window look tired. They have given up fighting with the
wind, heat, sudden cold, and other types of over stimulation.

I am tired also...I am so tired of the chaos and degrading insults to the American public that have been hoisted upon us in the name of politics. No, it really hasn't been politics as usual, but that doesn't make it a good thing.

And when I listen to the media, I wonder, once again why they persist in promoting and in many cases glorifying negativity and hate. Much of what is presented is just wrong and some is "much ado about nothing." Meanwhile, politics and the creative use of consistent lies and projection onto the other candidate become the new norm. And other serious issues that should be dealt with, (e.g, the rights of Native Americans vs. corporate power), are ignored.

   I can see how those seeking power can win...because we, the real silent majority, remain silent.
I think we are tired--just like those leaves outside my window. But I hope you are not too tired to VOTE, even if you feel it is the lesser of two evils.
         "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to remain silent."

May you be at peace in your heart...
Jeanne

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In the Moment...

10/19/2016

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     Recently I’ve been wondering how so many people connected with a seemingly high level of spiritual development can be blind to things and to people who are so obviously the opposite.
    I scroll through places like Facebook and feel as if we are losing all that is positive. Everyone seems to be looking for and expecting signs of disrespect. The political environment has become a serious version of “I’m okay because I declare that you’re not.” We are not stupid people, but we act like it when we function at and accept such low levels of moral development as if this is the way to be now.
    Why are many of us so insecure? Why is the media fixated on glorifying negativity? And why are we letting any type of evil transpire?
    It is so frightening and frustrating to realize that there is immeasurable beauty and goodness in the world, but many people are choosing to accept destructive, degrading, and demoralizing messages, behavior, etc.

  I hope that someday soon we will base our choices on things like equality of human rights, respect for others, justice for all, etc., because that is the higher level of moral development that will bring us gratitude and happiness. And that is the only way to
true personal power.

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In the Moment...

9/23/2016

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  I’m sitting here looking at one of my favorite gifts. It is a pewter statue of a mare and colt. The mare seems to be saying to the newborn colt, “Ok, it’s time for you to get up and try to walk. But remember, when you do, you are committed for life.”

    The mare seems to be giving this wisdom in a gentle way and the colt is listening intently. The title in the front of the statue is “Love is gentle.”

    I sometimes wonder if we are ever committed for life. Oh sure, we think that we have made life commitments, maybe in relationships, religious beliefs, or life goals, etc. But how many stay the course? How many actually develop even better relationships or actually grow closer to God’s message of love, or continue to work on those life goals?

    In reality we are almost constantly distracted by so much overload that there is no time to step back and put priorities in order. It seems there is little time for finding a sense of personal peace. And this is what is needed most for developing the really good things in life like compassion, understanding, simplicity, gratitude, love, and gentleness.

    Most people make the mistake of thinking that if only they had enough of something or were in the right situation, then they could be at peace. But it appears to be the other way around—it is when we are personally at peace that we are most capable of being our best or truest self. It is when we are at peace that we are most likely to have our priorities in order and are able to more easily follow our commitments to quality living.

    And a quality life journey has nothing to do with accumulating things or being overly busy with urgent unimportant things that distract, and overwhelm us. The real priorities may lie with spending time (perhaps in prayer or meditation, etc.), in order to find the simplicity and direction of personal peace. Then everything else falls into place and we can get up and successfully continue to walk on our committed life journey, remembering that love is gentle.

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Putter Plan...

8/27/2016

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    Have you ever noticed how much can be accomplished in your head before getting up in the morning? It seems to be an easy time when I can create and cross off a myriad of items on a mental “To Do” list.
    I feel like someone with boundless energy and rock hard resolve as I imagine myself doing leaps and bounds of positive productivity during the upcoming day.
    It can be a time of hope and promise… Or it can be the last thing I complete.
    I guess there can be many reasons for this. Maybe hope is somehow connected with energy level and as energy fades during the day so does hope. Maybe the element of procrastination sets in and little is actually accomplished.

    But wait…Maybe I could turn it into one of my putter days. One of the best ways I know to really accomplish more than I think I can is to putter or graze like a horse.
    When I putter, I gradually go from one minor thing to another and complete a small organizational task that has been delayed and frequently forgotten and then remembered time and again. These somehow serve as little mini-stresses that are left in the back of my mind.
    The freedom of a putter day is wonderful because there are no explicit demands. And after grazing through my day, it seems that all of the mini-bonfires of stress have been doused with cool, refreshing water and I am free to breathe.
    Problems are seen as challenges; beauty is recognized along the way; tension is reduced; it’s time to relax…

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August 21st, 2016

8/21/2016

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Necessary“How To”skills you never learned
in school…
A while back I had written a blog on critical “how to” skills never learned in school. By request, I have added some additional necessary skills that go with the challenges of adulthood.
See if you agree…

            ---How to handle suffering in your life
            ---keep perspective when things seem overwhelming
            ---seeing beyond political rhetoric and commercial manipulation
            ---learn to be at peace with yourself
---prioritize your needs so that effort is spent on the most important
---listening to advice from an older person (who may know what
is really important)
            ---raise children in a constantly changing society
---go beyond tolerance to seeing the dignity of each individual
---learn to focus on all that is good and let go of what drags
you down
---How to live in the now with awareness and without judgment
---How to gradually reduce your ego and get out of yourself
---realizing that love is a verb…

Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal. So, take time to go in peace…

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In the Moment...

7/6/2016

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     Looking out the window I am reminded how much trees can look like us when breezes suddenly attack. They either all move the same way or each leaf tries to escape the force of air by twisting in different directions, causing a chaotic pattern. I want to say, “Hey guys, it’s just a breeze. Calm down.”

    Maybe that’s what we need to do when we find ourselves twisting in different directions—maybe we need to stop and calm down. After all, it’s just a breeze…or thunderstorm…or some other type of experience that tries to knock us off our feet. But we’ve been through worse before and handled it. And usually “this too shall pass” even if it seems like it is one mountain to climb after another.

    So, in the process of calming down, try these:

*giving yourself some alone time—quiet time when you can get your
priorities straight.

*Consider what the right thing to do in the situation is and do it.

*Remind yourself what is important in life.

*Make peace with yourself and there will be no one left to fight.

*Ask advice from an older person you respect. Learn from experience.

*Be willing to compromise the unimportant things in life.

*Pray for the strength to be up to the challenge.

*Be good to yourself.

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Dad's lesson plan...

6/17/2016

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Although I certainly appreciate all that the experts have done and taught me, it has finally occurred to me that my greatest learning experiences in life have actually come from other, more taken-for granted sources.
One of those sources was my Dad.

I remember him taking me along on Saturday mornings during his rounds to the meat market, bakery and grocery store. Some valuable lessons came during these weekly trips. I learned how to choose different cuts of meat and how to pick out the best. I learned what the word “fresh” means when applied to various types of food.

But my Dad also taught me the value of honesty whenever he discovered and returned extra change that had been mistakenly given to him by a salesperson. He taught me how to easily share small talk with strangers and other social courtesies one learns from example. Most of my Dad’s lessons were ones of practical goodness and patience. He was a natural teacher who added quality and character to a child’s life without the structure of a lesson plan.

We actually do learn from example, even in our adult years—which is why it is so important to be mature enough to live our values and not follow the crowd like we might have done in high school.

What are you passing on to your children? Make it something worthwhile...

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Be here now...

6/12/2016

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    “Many of us approach each day by starting a car engine that keeps going at a considerable speed throughout the day. We usually have no real reason for the speed. The important thing seems to be to keep the car going and not necessarily in any particular direction as long as we keep moving. To slow down or stop might be dangerous, possibly exposing us to the meaninglessness of all this multitasking activity that we use to justify our existence.
    But what if we gave ourselves permission to slow down…? Some very happy experiences can come from times when it is okay to just want to be here.”    -excerpt from book:   Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight

    I have a bird feeder attached to the window facing my writing desk. The window is hidden behind 12 foot bushes that give the impression of being in a forest.

Two chickadees have found my feeder and have decided it is their favorite restaurant. Although the feeder with its two sections has signs labeled “eat in” and “take out,” the birds seem to ignore these directions and just eat at will and with one purpose. They must like the simple life.

    But what about you? Do you ever live without the engine running continuously? Do you long for the simple life? Do you ever live in the now—wanting to just be here with one purpose?

    And what if that one purpose were love?

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Quality Change...

5/18/2016

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How to be a better and happier person: Many times it is the little things and little changes that can make the biggest positive difference in a life. Try a few of the following and see if you feel more comfortable with yourself and more at peace:

            *Several times each day ask yourself, “What is the most loving
              action I could do right now?”

            *Gossip only about the good you see in others.

            *Give only sincere compliments.

            *Smile at people you haven’t met as you pass them by.

            *When under stress, stop and put things into perspective.

            *Consciously look for beauty around you this week.

            *Point out something of wonder to a child. (or adult)

            *Consciously forgive the ignorance and thoughtlessness
              of others.

            *Do an act of kindness that no one else sees.

            *Allow yourself to experience silence.

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Yes, it bothers me...

4/29/2016

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Real success comes from doing less
and becoming more.

Somehow I feel that this is another one of those entities in life
that we tend to get backwards. We spend countless years attempting to do and accomplish an extensive variety of tasks that in the end
   are not really important.
I call these the urgent unnecessary.

This covers things like effort spent on activity born out of group or mass stupidity, or life time wasted watching ignorance, cruelty or hate because it is popular. It seems that we spend much of our short lives forcing ourselves to do more and more while becoming less and less--simply because everyone is doing it, or acting a certain way, or buying a particular item, or….you know what I mean.

We used to do this in high school, but now immaturity seems to have spread nation-wide. And along the way we have screwed up our priorities, lost our love of natural beauty, and our respect for character and each other.

Yes, it bothers me that:
        --some people in Congress want more money for seemingly doing nothing positive.
        --the disparity between rich and poor is so extreme, it’s disgusting.
        --respect for all of life and each individual is missing.
        --real, serious issues in daily living are ignored by those who are sent to represent us.
        --our heroes are only seen in the sports or entertainment fields.
        --individuals and the media promote negativity and violence rather than positive goodness.
        --we tend to use and manipulate people and love the latest digital thing.
        --we are destroying our environment because of greed.
Etc.
My heroes will always be my Mother and Father who did their best to teach ten children the importance of integrity, compassion, faith, and love. Now there’s something that would make America great again…

                     What do you think?

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