
She runs to me with the excitement of a newly discovered experience, a first time moment that will someday be mundane. Her giggling laughter says, “I want to share this fun with you,” as she calls my name to ensure my full attention. At four years old, she views the world with a super sponge, openly soaking up gigabytes of sensory information. And her wonder at life’s beauty is obvious as she plays with ease in its
presence.
Sometimes it’s comfortable to wish that the innocence of early childhood could be suspended in the same way we might want a kitten to always stay 7 weeks old. In some ways a small child is like a shiny new quarter that hasn’t yet been worn down and handled roughly by dirty hands. There is hope for the human race in this little citizen who runs around so enthusiastically.
I only wish the delight in the eyes of a 4 year old could be turned on for life. I wish she would never cease to be amazed at good things
and simple pleasures. What if genuineness and playfulness could always be part of her character? Wouldn’t it be great if she could always
look at life with enthusiasm and an eagerness to learn; if she could see problems as adventures, and obstacles as sand hills waiting to be climbed? I wonder what it would be like if she could see every new person as a potential friend while keeping an astute awareness of human frailties. What if she never grew up to waste her breath on insincerity, superficiality, and lies? And what if she kept some of the simplicity and charm of a 4 year old? (And maybe, even the silliness)
Somehow it seems to take so long as adults to rediscover what is important in life. And usually by then the body can no longer run and jump and skip with glee at the sight of a floating butterfly or a blinking lightning bug.
I hope that the pain of life doesn’t turn her inward and that she will keep her eyes on good people. It’s one of the best ways I know to find love and happiness in life. For now, while she continues to play in peace, I’ll keep on praying for peace.
© Jeanne Adams
From my book Happiness: Hidden in Plain Sight
which can be purchased for 13.00, including S+H,
from: Jeanne Adams
100 Venloe
Youngstown, Ohio 44514)
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For all Mothers...
”We are all hit with surprises in life that can suddenly confront both our reason for being and our faith in ourselves and God. But isn’t this nothing more than life playing itself out and allowing us to respond with trust and hope? And isn’t this something that mothers seem to instinctively know? They certainly are hit with enough surprises and the thought of not being there for us seems to never enter their heads.
A mother just continues to care…no matter what.
So on behalf of children of all ages everywhere, thank you to all Mothers for not only taking care of our scraped knees, but also for:
-comforting our bruised ego
-cleaning up after us
-staying up until we got home safely
-reminding us of what is important in life
-listening to our dreams (and nightmares)
-being the best cook in the whole world
-comforting us when we were sick
-letting us choose when you knew there was a better way
-covering up our social blunders
-looking the other way when we made a simple mistake
-assuming our intentions were better than they were
-driving us to countless activities
-covering us with a blanket when we fell asleep in a chair
-knowing just what we wanted for Christmas without asking
-putting up with all of our complaining
-listening to us even when you were tired
-for all of the hugs
-teaching us to care about others in need
-showing us how to be kind
-being patient with us during our anxiety-driven teen years
-asking our opinion when we were too young to know much
-always reminding us that you loved us
-giving us part of your piece of cake or pie because you knew we liked it
-teaching us to forgive others
-being calm when we needed a safe place
-letting us learn the musical instrument we wanted to play
-holding us accountable for our actions while supporting us
-praying for us…always
and for knowing that we loved you…
even though we didn’t say it often enough.
©Jeanne Adams

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Security…Where Did It Go?
Some of our safest moments come with predictability. We feel safe when we know what is expected of us and when we are with people who we trust will behave consistently according to theirvalue system. We want to be with those who will do what they say or promise and will live what they believe is important. We feel safe when we are treated with respect, kindness, and compassion. And at times, we almost desperately seek out those rare individuals who can show us these elements of love. Maybe we even dream of being this kind of person to others. What happens that causes us to lose focus on what is good and important in life? What is it that turns us into apparent hypocrites who say one thing and do another?
And if there is no fear in love, why are we all afraid?
In recent years, (the pandemic, war, threats of loss of democracy, etc.) we have become a nation steeped in fear. We fear not only the potentially disastrous real life situations such as a terrorist attack or a tragedy in our homes, but also mundane fears.
We fear speaking in public, new situations, new relationships, and new demands and expectations. We fear people who are not like us, may not think like us, may hold different values, have a different nationality or race, those who see God differently, eat differently, dress differently, etc. And we even seem to fear seeking understanding that might eliminate the ignorance that leads to our fears.
We basically fear change in a world of constant change. Although we continually attempt to communicate with each other through the fastest and most convenient technology available, our communication seems to be nothing but prattle...a way of talking at each other in order to maintain distance. In our daily world, walls are constantly being built up, separating people and increasing discrimination in the process. People do not reach out to one another, and without exposure to diversity, there is decreased opportunity for understanding.
In a world of relentless fear, change, and multitasking, we have lost that sense of inner peace that gives us an anchor against over stimulation and chaos. We have lost the trust and especially the love that is the opposite of fear.
We know that genuine love includes things like compassion, kindness, awareness of others needs, gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance, gratefulness, taking action for the good of yourself and others, etc. It can bring hope and personal peace.
So, what if we could eliminate the tremendous fear coming from the complications of contemporary life? Gratitude and living in every now can help; silence, time in nature, being good to yourself, etc.
But what would happen if, on a moment-to-moment basis, we actually chose genuine love over fear? It seems that the simplicity of Christ’s message and the promise of God’s eternal and constant love can give us the security to put it all into perspective
“Of whom should I be afraid?”
©Jeanne Adams
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Question Everything???
We are just getting into the season of increased political information via TV ads, news broadcasts, extra mail, discussions, etc. And I am already hearing much information that seems contradictory to my view and experience of the real world. It has become so pervasive that I find myself automatically turning on mute when some of these ads come on.
It seems that we, as a nation, have become so used to being lied to that we are now entrenched in an overwhelming fear of scams, identity theft, being used and manipulated, and not knowing who is telling the truth. Lying has become so normal, at times, it is no longer seen as wrong. It is almost expected--taken for granted as part of normal socialization.
Whatever happened to truth?
Maybe you have all experienced the phenomenon of smell and taste fading as time goes by. (eg., the first two bites are the best in a food dish, or the smell of something fading.) Well, repeated lies can have the same fading effect and be accepted as fact. Of course, this puts us in a position of not knowing who to trust. That makes us easy targets (aka victims) of manipulation. The process started several years ago and is still prevalent.
Whatever happened to trust?
To a great extent, trust is based on experiencing truth, genuine love, dependability, consistently good behavior, etc. To trust is to believe what is right. So, how do we avoid becoming victims of lies?
Maybe we simply need to remind ourselves that:
=== Lies will never be truthful.
=== Manipulation is rarely ever good.
=== Evil can take on the appearance of a false truth and goodness.
=== Never give up control of your life.
=== Supposedly good intentions can become the promotion of evil.
=== A vote against democracy can be a vote for dictatorship.
=== Fear is the opposite of love.
Copyright: Jeanne Adams

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(The following is from my e-book, Significant Caring, by Brighton Publishing) Hopefully it may help extend the holiness of Holy Week to a holier life.
Being a Christian is Always Being on Call
We have all heard about the idea of living in a house by the side of the road and being a friend to all who happen to pass by. It may seem like a lazy and relaxed way of being a Christian. All we would have to do is sit around and wait for the damsel in distress or the person seeking directions to the closest discount store, or perhaps assist a lost child to find their way home. Sounds somewhat like a modern day “couch” Samaritan, doesn’t it?
But is it really so far removed from what we are called to do? As Christians we are called by God to do justice, act kindly, and walk humbly in His steps. In many ways, it is that simple: we just tend to complicate things to the point of becoming overwhelmed and helplessly ineffective. In fact, the Christian life is a simple one…very difficult, yet very simple. If we really put God first in our lives everything else would fall into place. There wouldn’t be all of those difficult decisions and struggles with what to do or say in a given situation. We wouldn’t have to differentiate between what is expedient and what is right. The agony of defeat while playing power games would become a thing of the past; and we would only have to worry about what God thinks.
Being a Christian “on call” means that we are ready to provide loving action, or at
least a loving response, whenever we make contact, wherever we find ourselves, and with whatever need comes to our attention. It can be in response to a disgruntled store clerk, a rude driver, a lonely neighbor, or a friend who is hurting. Being a Christian on call means that we are available at all times to choose kindness over confrontation, listening over spouting off, and being present to someone in need over self-absorption.
Someone once said, “We are not here to change the world but to touch the hands within our reach.” There is no need to look far to find opportunities for living our Christian faith; no need to wait for Sunday to pray or be aware of needs other than our own. We not only have the poor always with us but also the tired spouse, the confused and contrary teenager, the annoying or inept co-worker, and the demanding fellow committee member.
Being a Christian on call means that we are available at all times to make the world a better place with our thoughts, choices, and behavior. There is no call to arms or music that signals us to put on a cape before flying off to rescue a situation. And there will most likely be no pedestal on which our efforts are proclaimed and praised. In many cases we will not even be acknowledged or thanked, and our attempts at kindness may be taken for granted or not even received by another. Also, in today’s society, the strength of gentleness is often interpreted as being weak or unsuccessful.
But God doesn’t necessarily ask us to be successful in the eyes of others---He simply asks us to be significant to the lives of others.
And you’re “on call” today.
©Jeanne Adams
JPwriters@aol.com
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,
Is Time Running Out?
I’m sure you have heard that time goes too slow when you are young and goes too fast when old. It’s all perspective. However, an add-on to that seems to be the experience of increased procrastination as we get older—at least for me. As the weeks fly by, I am aware that I am not keeping up with what is genuinely important to me. Here’s what I mean:
You know how, often, when people disappear in your life for a variety of reasons, they eventually disappear in your mind. But we all know individuals who are suffering, alone, grieving, etc. I would like to call and check on them. But there the short list rests in my mind waiting for action. (Of course, I am praying, but works of mercy and caring require more.)
And I know you can remember certain unique individuals who added value to your life. I can too. And in gratitude for sharing their qualities I would like to thank them and let them know that I haven’t forgotten them. I have been wanting to do this for a while now but can’t seem to start. Still deciding whether to write a note, text, call, etc. Still making a small list. Still procrastinating.
The excuses are many: “Oh, they may not want to talk, or they might be resting, or the cost of postage is ridiculously high, or simply, I could start tomorrow.” But shouldn’t gratitude be shared? And shouldn’t someone know how much they have added goodness to life? (Of course, maybe this blog is just a way of delaying…)
Positive action seems harder the older I get, even though the intent is still there. Procrastination becomes an easier way of living. And not answering God’s call for compassion and love is a delaying tactic, because routines are honestly more comfortable.
Now, I know that being aware of a problem can be the first step to change-- giving hope.
So, if someday you get a call, card, text, from me, please know that I genuinely care and/or it may be a sincere thank you for the gift of you.
©Jeanne Adams
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How to Make a Difference…
With a few weeks left in Lent, here are several ideas for growing in faith that you might want to try. It is possible to still make any one a habit.
---Refuse to put yourself or anyone else down
---Listen—genuinely listen to what someone is saying
---See problems as learning adventures
---Smile at strangers when you pass them
---Say thank you to those who serve you this week: eg., waitress, bank
teller, grocery cashiers, etc.
---Speak out when you encounter a situation that is truly wrong or unjust
---Give a sincere compliment to someone who doesn’t expect it
---Do a household task for someone without being asked
---Help a disabled or elderly person with a home task
---Take time to reflect on what God is calling you to do with your life
---Stop judging people and you’ll never be wrong
---Offer to pick up something from the store for someone who is
home bound
---Return a neighbor’s empty recycling or trash can back to their door
---Drop off a single flower or small plant to a recently ill person
---Ask how a person is feeling and listen to the answer
---Send an encouraging text message, card, or email to someone who has been
feeling down
---Share something homemade with a neighbor
---Offer to give a ride to Church
---Put “I love you” notes under a child’s pillow
---Give a caretaker a break by offering to visit with a disabled/sick
person for an hour
---Give extra hugs to your kids
---Ask advice from an older person
---Share your faith by living what you believe
---Consider the right thing to do in each situation. Then act
---Pray to be a peaceful person
---Teach gentleness to children
---Surprise someone with one of their favorite things
---Share something beautiful
---Offer help without being asked
---Vote for leaders who care about all people
---Allow yourself to experience silence
---Get involved. Don’t wait for other to take care of everything
---Pray each day for all who are suffering in any way
©Jeanne Adams

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Collections…
…a tongue in cheek approach
Among the many items that we tend to collect in our lives are certain collections of things that make us happy to look at and display. Collections were a more popular hobby years ago but can still be interesting when you discover someone who has an extensive collection of unusual objects like bobble heads. It creates a special sense of what makes them fascinating.
Most people have collections containing ordinary items like horse statues, bells, plates, or other art forms. And as others get to know someone’s favorite item, it can be easy to come up with a gift for them.
However, some collections are not necessarily gifts but are challenges. Having been “gifted” with many challenges (eg., diagnoses), I have often tried to explain my multiple medical conditions by saying I was merely working on my medical degree—one body part at a time. But recently, a longtime friend began to add up the more serious medical conditions that have affected my life and limbs and came up with over sixteen. Whew. No wonder I’m tired. It can be a distressful collection and my body seems to be running out of room. (And No, despite what you may think, I am not a hypochondriac.) As I get older each hour I am discovering what the phrase means that says old age is not for Sissies.
But of course, some individuals are going through much more serious distress and challenges that I wouldn’t begin to have the courage to face. Chronic and sudden medical distress can be an awful way to form a collection. So, to those who are experiencing more serious medical situations, I am with you and pray that you can more easily face the challenges. I honor and respect your courage.
©Jeanne Adams

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But What Can I Do?
The extreme misery and loss experienced by the people of Ukraine that we see on TV can lead to ‘compassion fatigue’ and thoughts of ‘I can’t watch that anymore.’ It can eventually dim our sense of empathy and increase self-involvement. In reaction, we often turn to the usual distraction, driven busyness, and focus on the trivial to try and alleviate our pain, fear, and helplessness.
But maybe this attempt to bring things back to 'normal' simply hides the discomfort of similar experiences in everyday living. How often have you heard that someone who you wanted to thank and was once a regular part of your life is now suddenly experiencing a very serious illness? Or, the family member, friend, or neighbor you meant to check up on has suddenly died? Often, by trying to hide everyday pain, it can come back to hit you with sudden sadness and guilt.
Perhaps this is why I think mindfulness and living in the now are so important to our personal lives. They bring hope and peace to our lives and help keep our best priorities in perspective.
But one of the best ways to bring hope to the world is to be that hope for others. A person who is hurting can’t always ask for what is wanted despite desperately needing help. Frequently, when asked about how things are going, they will say, “Fine” or will express very little, feeling that most people are not interested or won’t be able to do what it might take to fix the situation. And often, there is no fix—there is just the pain.
Sometimes the quiet observation of “You look tired today” or “Something seems to be bothering you” followed by an offer to help can create a healing connection capable of bringing hope and peace to another. Just the realization that another person has noticed you are facing a challenge can ease the burden.
There will always be times when we are not quite sure how to respond to a delicate situation without clear boundaries. And it is hard to know how far to step into someone else’s life without overwhelming or appearing nosy. But there is a way that can create a bridge. Next time, when you are wondering what to say in what might seem to be an awkward situation, you might try gently asking, “How can I help?” When asked with sincerity and sensitivity, the question can bring comfort to a hurting human spirit close to you.
©Jeanne Adams

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Put yourself in the place of most potential.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to predict the outcome of all of our activities? The ones that we planned so seriously, carefully knowing the response from other people involved. Of course, we really can’t know how people will respond because they are planning their own story and how things are to go. But why is it we sometimes feel lost when we expect to be in control of a certain situation?
Every once in awhile, almost accidentally, we get what we want and there is a smoothness in our interactions and fluidity in our movements. We feel as if we are on top of the world and can’t be blocked. But don’t worry, even if there is fifteen minutes of security, there will quickly be a time for loss of focus and ability to plan. The anxiety that is felt will once again be part of the baggage we all carry.
Let me explain.
Sometimes we think we are the only ones afflicted with this malady, but anxiety is linked to lack of self-assurance and this is linked to fear—the opposite of love. Real love is the opposite of fear because when we are loving with compassion we are functioning at our best, out of ourselves and out of goodness--free from stress and anxiety.
When we function out of fear there is a sense of discomfort and self-absorption that shows itself in our speech and actions. And the need to control increases. Even our preferences can change as we do anything to cover up our sense of insecurity. This is the time when we can function at our worst, be influenced by those with malicious intentions, then lose our sense of perspective. We can become lost and subsequently live by rote. We are stuck in a lower stage of moral decision making, unable to see outside self, and egocentric to the point of only sharing “me” references with others.
One of the best ways to instantly decrease anxiety/fear is to live one minute at a time (in the now), while focusing on something outside of us, (nature is a big help) but especially someone in need--and the need for genuine love is all around us.
© Jeanne Adams
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“I never promised you a rose garden…”
A Perspective Look
We are restless and lost in a world of discontent and uncertainty. Despite the new year that was going to be better, it seems the stress keeps continuing. And we feel guilty and sad because we can only imagine how much worse it is for other people—people who are giving up everything in the fight against evil. There is also a feeling of helplessness, wishing we had the ability to go welcome mothers and children to at least some comfort in their unknown new life. The war in Ukraine certainly is the face of tragedy and a fight between good and evil.
Added to this terrible reality are our own personal battles that can seem minor but provide daily stress. Thoughts of unfinished conversations, possible misunderstood words, unfulfilled expectations, and fears of the future can keep clashing through our minds.
Why is it we all tend to create most of our own unhappiness and disappointments in life? We search frantically for constant reassurance that we are needed, wanted, and important in the realm of things. We want to be able to measure up to the people around us while maintaining a steady flow of status and power. We want our children to look up to us, our friends to admire us, and our spouses to be undyingly grateful for the grudging loyalty we give them.
And then we go about trying to surround ourselves with safety nets of sameness while complaining endlessly of boredom.
I wonder what would happen if we were able to genuinely trust in God, each other, and ourselves. What if our thoughts, words, and actions were determined by what we knew God wanted for us in a given situation? Would we cease to be thrown by our own insecurities, wants, and needs? Well, at least we would have a plan for living that puts things into perspective and we probably wouldn’t continue to react in ways that have previously not been effective. We would be free to simply be our best.
We would have the freedom to grow, to choose, to learn unconditional love and compassion, and to act with gentleness, kindness, and empathy. All of these good things are a result of having faith, simplicity, conscious living in the now, trust, hope and perspective. And when there is peace within, it is easier to deal with the chaos and evil outside of us.
Maybe we should do as St. Francis of Assisi suggested: ‘Do a few things slowly, but do them well.’ After all, it is just a matter of perspective...
© Jeanne Adams