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     Question Everything???
 
   We are just getting into the season of increased political information via TV ads, news broadcasts, extra mail, discussions, etc. And I am already hearing much information that seems contradictory to my view and experience of the real world. It has become so pervasive that I find myself automatically turning on mute when some of these ads come on.

It seems that we, as a nation, have become so used to being lied to that we are now entrenched in an overwhelming fear of scams, identity theft, being used and manipulated, and not knowing who is telling the truth.  Lying has become so normal, at times, it is no longer seen as wrong. It is almost expected--taken for granted as part of normal socialization.

   Whatever happened to truth?

Maybe you have all experienced the phenomenon of smell and taste fading as time goes by. (eg., the first two bites are the best in a food dish, or the smell of something fading.) Well, repeated lies can have the same fading effect and be accepted as fact. Of course, this puts us in a position of not knowing who to trust. That makes us easy targets (aka victims) of manipulation. The process started several years ago and is still prevalent.

    Whatever happened to trust?

To a great extent, trust is based on experiencing truth, genuine love, dependability, consistently good behavior, etc. To trust is to believe what is right. So, how do we avoid becoming victims of lies?

            Maybe we simply need to remind ourselves that:

  === Lies will never be truthful.

 ===  Manipulation is rarely ever good.

 ===  Evil can take on the appearance of a false truth and goodness.

===   Never give up control of your life. 

===  Supposedly good intentions can become the promotion of evil.

===  A vote against democracy can be a vote for dictatorship.
 
===  Fear is the opposite of love.

                                                                           Copyright: Jeanne Adams
                                                                            
  
 
 
 
 
   

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                        Ever Felt This Way?


     It is only after having made it through almost 18 years of education and 30 years of professional experience, that I have suddenly realized my life education has been sadly lacking. You see,
no one ever told me about the extensive priority changes that seem to hit all of us after our 50th birthday. Although most of these realizations can help to simplify life, a few have thrown me off  balance and left me with a fear of falling.

                  For example, in my post 50 years I have discovered that:
 
--- Comfort surpasses style... Somewhere along the way, I suddenly lost track of what was popular in terms of fashion, music, the arts, etc. I have started buying my clothes based on what is comfortable. I’ll simply go out and buy a new version of the same comfort outfit. Oh, sometimes I go crazy and get a new color, but I really work at trying to control this urge. I have managed to greatly diminish my “good” or “dressy” clothes section to the point where I can almost eliminate clothing from my yearly budget. Casual is now my favorite and only style.

--- Patience is no longer a virtue but a necessity... I not only have to wait for my body to catch up with my messages to move, but my lightening speed computer mind is now in desperate need of defragmentation. Ask me the name of a long time acquaintance or what I had for dinner yesterday and the answer will arrive like clockwork in the middle of the night as I’m headed for the bathroom. I find myself waiting a lot these days. I wait to be picked up, I wait to be noticed in a restaurant or store, I wait for a visit from family or friends, I wait for someone to help me do the things I used to be able to do with ease... I even wait for a hug. 

--- I have finally slowed down enough to notice things outside of myself... and to discover the importance of sunshine, smiles, and kind words. This is one of the good surprises! The seasons bring renewed discoveries to my life, just like when I was a child:  butterflies, flowers, birds, insects, changing leaves, and the feel of snow when it touches my tongue. I find that I can even listen better, now that a response isn’t immediately expected of me. I can take time to understand what feelings are active behind the words of others. I now am beginning to notice their hopes and dreams and struggling successes. They say that aging is a slowing down process, and I am finding that it really is possible to stop and smell the roses.... and baby’s breath, lilacs, warm apple pie, and soap.

- Position or authority no longer intimidates me... Politicians, executives, physicians, professors, entertainers, attorneys, clergy, etc. no longer impress me unless I have reason to respect them as individuals. Their “status” by itself is not enough to bring me to my knees or even cause them to shake. At this point in my life I can almost laugh at the things I thought were so important in my youth and at the rantings of today’s powerful people. At this point  I really can question authority.

--- Everything seems to be a repeat... stories, TV shows, jokes, dinners, etc. “Been there, done that” is a reoccurring theme. And it is becoming increasingly more difficult to muster the enthusiasm to get involved in a whole lot of activities. Given the choice of repetitive negativity, gross images, dehumanization of others, or dysfunctional relationships to view on television, I realize the extent to which the world has lost its creative imagination. So, I have become a passionate seeker of what is good.

--- The spirit is willing but the body is out to lunch... or maybe taking a nap. This is probably the biggest and most depressing area of surprise after 50. And yes, I should have expected it. But until I started to experience results of the degenerative process, I could convince myself that it was a myth.  Everything about the body seems to be more difficult. I now have trouble sitting down and getting up again, walking for any length of time, walking up or down steps, in or out of cars. And when I walk I give a great impression of the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.

--- Children and pets have become a major source of entertainment...
I find myself gravitating towards them whenever I get a chance. Both children and pets can provide hours of humorous antics and simple silliness; both are totally honest and sincere in their communications; and both are capable of sharing spontaneity, joy, and unconditional love. Listening to children giggle, or watching puppies and kittens play can be some of the most natural and enjoyable times anywhere.

--- Doctors I ignored in my youth are now ignoring me just when I finally need them... I thought I was infallible when I was young, and aches and pains were simply a temporary distraction. Why would I need to see a doctor?  But at some point after 50, aches and pains started to take up residence in my body and have begun to proliferate. I find that I now have made it half way through medical school by way of researching each new diagnosis on the internet. However, my doctors do not seem to be all that interested in my body’s decline. I am simply being given a combination of medical labels, additional prescriptions, and one to three month appointments. It has become a very boring routine where I feel that the chronic pain associated with my numerous medical conditions is tolerated rather than addressed. “Learning to live with it” has taken on a whole new meaning for me. 

---  I don’t need as many things.... and it is typical of my luck to discover this right at the time when the commercial world suddenly wants to give me freebies like senior cards, free health fairs, senior discounts, free investment dinners, etc. Naturally, I don’t pass these up and will be sure to say, “Senior discount, please” at the drive-through.... just in case they can’t tell my age.

--- I am disappearing in the eyes of those around me... It seems that after 50 I am no longer seen by some as a viable person with something to offer the world. Instead of asking my advice, people tend to talk around me, patronize me, or call me “honey” in a way that isn’t endearing. It just means “you sweet old thing."  So much for sharing my accumulated life wisdom with others. Too bad, because I still have a lot of real surprises.

                             
                                                                             copyright, Jeanne Adams

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Be good to yourself,
Jeanne




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​                         Practical Wisdom
 
    Being wise beyond my golden years, I have decided to make use of that wisdom and actively respond to reoccurring energy and economic problems with a creative and practical answer plan. I was going to invest in one of those smaller cars with great gas mileage, but discovered that I couldn’t pull myself out of one once I crammed myself into it. So, common sense and weak legs told me to come up with my own creation that will fit my limited but quality oriented lifestyle. Here’s my plan.

        First, I’m going to spend a minimal amount of money on a Harley to save gas…..or maybe just a scooter….or perhaps an electric powered old fashioned ice cream bike with the box freezer behind. But that’s just the beginning. I will take it and customize for comfort and convenience that any senior citizen would be proud of. There will be a basket, of course, and I guess it would be smart to get a magnified windshield just in case my eyes start to get blurrier, and storage --- one bag for groceries and one for prescription drugs and extra adult diapers. I’ll have a quick release strap for my cane and a flip up display case for my handicap placard.

I wonder if I should put out extra money for the cushioned upholstered extra wide seat with the adjustable arm rests. Another option would be a pill dispenser with a timer on the handlebars in case I get carried away by all the envious “oohs” and “ahhs” I’ll be attracting and forget to take my medication. What do you think, should I opt for the cashmere covered pedal straps or is that an unnecessary excess? You know, what I really could use and would be practical is one of those crash helmets with windshield wipers. But then, I don’t want to appear to be trying to keep up with the Joneses.

But one more thing is absolutely necessary---the optional sidecar attachment for the grandkids is essential because of those constant requests for free babysitting. I love my grandkids, but I’m not going to let them slow me down.

​                                                       -copyright, Jeanne Adams
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​     ​               Do you ever feel stuck?

   I’m referring to the kind of “stuckness” that keeps you in place and not knowing where to move next. There may be dozens of things that supposedly need to be done for one reason or another. You may even have a full To Do list that is just begging for cross offs. And you mind keeps urging you to stop the procrastination because that goes nowhere.
So, what’s wrong? Fatigue? Depression? Laziness? Maybe even low blood sugar. Certainly nothing that a little treat and a nap wouldn’t cure.
Sure, it could be any one of these things and more…
 
  We live in a chaotic and generally negative world, a world that has done its best to make it hard to see what is good and safe and beautiful. We live in a world that bombards us with constant reminders of all that is fearful, untrustworthy, and truly evil. Added to this, are the constant daily challenges of physical problems, recurrent financial insecurity, and faltering relationships, among other things. No wonder there is rampant negative stress that, at times, seems to blind us to all that is positive in our lives.     

 Sometimes there seems to be a sense of suspension in  life---kind of a stepping back and questioning of all that is in it. Thomas Merton once said that “Courage comes and goes….hold on for the next supply.”

I wonder if courage is nothing more than the ability to trust, to have faith...to keep on learning how to love. 

Be good to yourself,
​Jeanne
 

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                                    ​Security…  

    Some of our safest moments come with predictability. We feel safe when we know what is expected of us and when we are with people who we can trust will behave consistently according to their value system. We want to be with those who will do what they say or promise and will live what they believe is important. We feel safe when we are treated with respect, kindness, and compassion. And at times, we almost desperately seek out those rare individuals who can show us these elements of love. Perhaps we even have dreams of being this kind of person to others.

But what is so hard about finding or becoming the good, loving and trustworthy person who can offer that consistency, trust, safety and integrity? What happens that causes us to lose focus on what is good and important in life? What is it that turns us into apparent hypocrites who say one thing and do another and who frequently and unpredictably go from caring spouse/parent/friend, etc. to self-absorbed and selfish child demanding attention? What keeps us from genuinely acquiring the integrity that allows us to grow in love? And if there is no fear in love, why are we all afraid?
 

   In recent years we have become a nation steeped in fear. It seems that we fear not only the potentially disastrous real life situations such as a terrorist attack or a murder in our homes, but we also have become permeated with mundane fears. And they are destroying the quality of our lives…

We fear speaking in public, new situations, new relationships, new demands and expectations, new arrangements, and meeting new people. We fear opening the front door, attending a new group for the first time, asking directions of strangers, and what others think of us. We fear people who are not like us, may not think like us, may hold different values, have a different nationality or race, use a different language or way of speaking. We fear those who see God differently, eat differently, dress differently, and speak differently. And we even seem to fear seeking understanding that might eliminate the ignorance that leads to our fears.

    We basically fear change in a world of constant change.

Although we continually attempt to communicate with each other through the fastest and most convenient technology available, our communication seems to be nothing but prattle...a way of talking at each other in order to maintain distance. In our global world, walls are constantly being built up, separating people and increasing discrimination and racism in the process. People do not reach out to one another, and without exposure to diversity, there is decreased opportunity for understanding.
 
And we have become a nation of people uncomfortable not only with each other, but uncomfortable within ourselves. In a world of relentless change and multitasking, we have lost that sense of inner peace that gives us an anchor against over stimulation and chaos. We have lost the trust and especially the love that really is the opposite of fear. But then, perhaps we have never really found love in the true sense of the word.

Love, and its’ counterpart, intimacy, go far beyond the average person’s view of the words. Genuine love includes things like compassion, kindness, awareness of others needs, gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance, gratefulness, taking action for the good of yourself and others, etc. Intimacy is really a sense of trust, faith, openness, and honesty that leads to closeness with another. Together they can bring hope and personal peace.

What if we could eliminate the tremendous fear coming from the complications of contemporary life? What if we could do this by simply making better choices in our daily lives? And what would happen if, on a moment-to-moment basis, we actually chose genuine love over fear? It seems that the simplicity of God's message and the promise of God’s eternal love can give us the security to put it all into perspective.

“Of whom should I be afraid?”
                                                                 copyright
                                                                                     Jeanne Adams

************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ​.  Nobody Like You... You might remember the following. It is one of the best reasons for good self-esteem I have ever seen. We seem to need something upbeat and positive. Think about it...                        In all the world there is no one like you!           Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile. Nobody has your eyes, your nose, your hair, your hands, your voice. You are incredibly unique. No one can be found who has your handwriting or your tastes in food, art, or music. No one sees things just as you do. In all the world there has been no one who laughs like you, no one who cries like you.  and what makes you laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever. You are the only one in all of creation who has your set of abilities. Oh, there will always be someone who is better at one of the things you are good at,  but no one in the universe can reach the quality  of your combination of talents, ideas, abilities, and feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound when all are played together. You are a symphony! Through all of eternity no one will ever look, walk, talk, think, or do like you. You are unique and rare. And, as in all rarity, there is great value. Because of your great value, you do not need to attempt to imitate others You can accept, yet celebrate differences. It's no accident that you are so special. God must have a job for you that no one else can do as well as you can. Of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes. That one is you. You are irreplaceable---handle with care.                                                                                        -author unknown           ******************************************************************************************************************************                    Just a Lift Up Following is just a little light-hearted story about a recent experience of mine.      Something happened the other day that brought me down. It wasn’t expected or wanted. And of course, it happened at one of the worst times. I guess it’s something I should have been ready for, given the many effects of age and long term body disintegration. After all, I truthfully am no longer thirty-nine… Well, I fell while trying to pick up the cat’s dish on the way to my breakfast. I spent the next three and a half hours on the laundry room floor dressed in my sparse nightclothes, with slippers that got loose and ran away. It was a new crisis for me because nobody would hear if I called out. So, what could I do? After all, very few options exist in a small laundry room, crammed in with a washer, a dryer, a sink, and a three-level cat playground. I looked for something to entertain myself, but the Tide canister was up too high to read the label. So I decided to be serious and use my three brain cells to figure out how to get to a standing position. However, having fallen, certain complications can occur that hinder the desire to be up-right. I twisted and turned dozens of times, only to feel my strength seeping out of me with each effort. Several attempts included falling back and hitting my head on the wall. (There went two brain cells.) ​ So, I’m warning you. Please do everything in your power to stay standing because the horizontal position is not fun when you don’t choose it.   Jeanne PS: Someone did come to check on me, and the firemen were very friendly…                       **********************************************************************************************************************************   Adulthood--What your mother never taught you...       Why was I so anxious as a child to become an adult? Now that I am older I am finding this whole adult thing to be very difficult at times. You see, no one ever told this one time cocky adolescent, looking to own, achieve, and acquire the many aspects of adult life that someday I might lose them. No one warned me about the terrible losses that start to accelerate as I get older. No one ever said, “Hey wait a minute. Are you sure you want this relationship, pet, car, house, status, job, etc.? Because someday you might lose them and it is going to hurt!”    I have yet to see a course entitled, “Adulthood:  How to Make Difficult Decisions and Cope with Unplanned Change.”We get a lot of information from our years in school, especially if we are lucky enough to attend college at different levels. We are usually still blindsided by many experiences as adults. And we are often left trying to figure out what to do in each situation. For example: ---How to handle real suffering in life. This can hit us in many ways, like a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a child, spouse, friend or pet, pain from medical situations, break-up of a relationship, chronic illness, misunderstanding, experiencing personal violence, etc.   ---How to raise children in a constantly changing society. One element that appears to be important is consistency on our part. It seems that no matter how much change society throws at us, it is still important for children to have boundaries and to feel safe. There will always be a need for consistent values to be presented and lived. ---How to keep perspective when life seems overwhelming. One of the best ways to get perspective is to step back for a short time and look again at important values. Consider what is most important and what will matter in the long run. So much effort and energy are spent on much ado about nothing. ---How to see beyond counterfeit rhetoric. As adults, we often face things that are scams or untruths. And sometimes it takes the experience of being exploited to realize what is true or not. Being used can occur in business, politics, individual manipulation in a relationship, etc. It can feel awful to realize that our loyalties and energy have been used only to provide personal gains for another individual.  ---How to be at peace with yourself. It is much easier to face the trials and tribulations of life when we are grounded and living our values. To be grounded is to feel confident in our ability to face negativity. To be at peace is to be grounded in our convictions, values, faith, beliefs, etc. ---How to be mindful. To be mindful is to live in the now without judgment. It is important to understand that the only time is now. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination or expectation. Mindfulness can bring awareness without stress when we know that now is the only time there is. ---How to know that love is a verb. We grow up being very much aware of romantic love and many people think that this is the only type of love---one that is based on feelings. But genuine love is experienced at a higher level. To authentically love is to recognize the dignity of each individual and take positive action for them. Love is something we can spend a lifetime learning but is the ultimate skill. Couldn’t I somehow be warned that being an adult means I may someday:  have great neighbors that will move away; lose the job status that I worked so hard to achieve; suffer the loss of a family member or friend to cancer; have a child forget to call, be ignored or patronized because of my age; deal with all sorts of emergencies and know who to call and when…? I’m learning that these hard times can come close together, almost as if someone has set a spiral in motion. I wonder if there will be a time when everything falls into place and I can just relax for a while without having to respond to another mini-crisis. (And then I feel guilty because I know that many other people are experiencing real tragedy and suffering.) Somehow it seemed to be so much easier when I was young enough to demonstrate youthful ignorance. Maybe the answer is simply to look once again at life through the eyes of a child---the eyes that experience life one moment at a time, see problems as adventures, and losses as lessons in hope, knowing that God is as close as a prayer.   Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal. Keep on learning and go in peace… Jeanne Teach only Love. The only time is now.                                                               Dr. Jarold Jampolsky                                      ******************************************************************************************************************************************************​                             20 Ways to Take a 10 Minute Vacation            So many of us wait a year for our annual vacation, when we can slow the merry-go-round down to a semi hectic pace. We spend weeks counting the days until a sense of personal freedom is available. And many times the anticipation is the best part of the vacation. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It is possible to remove yourself from the usual daily chaos and frantic frequency. Try some of the following ideas for taking a ten minute vacation daily: 1. Lay down and tell yourself that there is absolutely nothing that you have to accomplish during the next ten minutes. This is what I call no demand time. 2. Sit in the backyard or a park and simply listen to all nature sounds. Eg.,. birds, water, the rustle of trees, squirrels playing, etc. 3. Turn off the TV and while looking at the blank screen, imagine the most peaceful scene you can remember.  4. Take a slow warm shower or bubble bath. Pretend that you are at a luxury hotel. Smell the soap and feel the clean. 5. Give yourself a miniature tea break with a plate of assorted homemade items on a china plate. Taste each item slowly and sensually. Sip the hot tea. 6. Take a leisurely walk in a park or woods. This time in nature has been proven to be an effective way to relax. 7. Put your feet up on your desk or sofa with hands behind your head, and close your eyes.  Imagine you are walking barefoot along a warm sandy beach. 8. Have a play romp with your dog. 9. Meditate or simply pray. 10. Listen quietly to classical music that is designed for relaxation. 11. Spend a few minutes stroking a kitten or cat. Proven to reduce blood pressure. 12. Play one of the kids computer games. Go ahead, zap em! 13. Get absorbed in a short story in a magazine. 14. Expect nothing from anyone, including yourself, for the next 10 minutes. 15. Take a “coffee break” by yourself in a quiet place. 16. Turn on some upbeat music and do creative dance steps. Express yourself! 17. Spend just ten minutes on your favorite hobby or craft project. Try to get totally involved. 18. Turn on slow, easy music and imitate a cat stretching in the sun. 19. Plant. It can be an indoor plant or a garden.Dig; landscape or create a flower arrangement. 20. Read something motivational and/or inspirational. Better yet, write about something that has inspired or motivated you in the past. ​ ​                                                     ***************************************************************************************************************                                               On the Way   Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to consistently live your faith in today’s world? A big part of it may be what seems like overwhelming evil and the fear that surrounds us daily. Sometimes it hits with pervasive anxiety. We worry that we might succumb to the negativity and apathy. And we are left feeling helpless to correct the fractured cultural demise. The distractions of our present conditions seem to always get in the way of genuine active faith.             It seems that Jesus spent most of his life going from one place to another, dealing with various unrest-full and health situations in a relaxed and focused manner. He lived life as a teacher of peace and shared lessons on the way. I feel that His most basic teaching was said by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky:                              Teach only love. The only time is now.                                                                                        What God is still asking of us now: to live in the moment with genuine love and peace. But to live in the moment can be extremely difficult. We allow ourselves to get caught up in either an issue from the past or an imagined fear of the future. But time spent on trying to control the uncontrollable leaves little room for life in real-time--now.                                           ************************************************************************************************************************************ ​                                                  What control do you have?            The situations we have all experienced over the last few months and years have created increased anxiety and fear in most of us. And we wonder what we can do. It occurred to me that maybe a few thoughts and simple questions might help. Are you willing to try? Question One:          Over what do I have control in this situation? We can spend a considerable amount of energy worrying and attempting to control things we have no control over. It can have a terrible draining effect on our ability to deal with life positively. Ask yourself, am I responsible for anything in any of the situations? If yes, do your best to solve, help, vote, etc. Question Two:             Do I see it as a problem or a challenge? The way we perceive things determines our reality. Seeing something as a challenge implies that there is the ability to take action—based on choice.   Question Three:                   How can I better handle fear? When fear is out of perspective, it can overwhelm us, resulting in constricted living. But living life with common sense and love, it is easier to conquer fear one step at a time. It is surprising how much the Serenity Prayer can help to put things into perspective.               God, grant me the serenity                          to accept the things I cannot change,                                 the courage to change the things I can                                        and the wisdom to know the difference.   Just some thoughts… Jeanne PS:  Plan your VOTE.                 **************************************************************************************************************************** ​                                                       How to be a Magnet...       As human beings, we spend most of our lives moving through changing situations with varying energy levels, goals, and motivations. When we feel good about ourselves and in control of our world, we can move with direction and purpose. We are alive and open to new experiences. There is an awareness of genuine self-worth, and our decisions and actions are easy. Our thoughts and senses are positive, and our self-talk encouraging. We know who we are and live what we believe. We are in balance. ​ There is an old Chinese saying that states, “Only happy people can make a happy world.” There is much truth to this. Have you ever noticed that the people you feel safest with and with whom you want to spend more time, are those who appear to be happiest and contented with themselves? They don’t feel the need to compare or put down others, they’re seldom cynical, and they tend to concentrate on the good things in life. They are in control of, and responsible for their happiness. They have integrity, warmth, compassion, and gentleness. You are impressed with their quiet strength and perspective on life. The hectic pace and tension of the day are diminished a little while in their presence. ​ These people are rare yet memorable. We are drawn to them because when we are with them, we feel better about ourselves. Ask yourself, are you that quiet magnet that attracts people to the good things in life? Are you that unique person who can help others feel better about themselves? No matter how many cookbook techniques you learn and use, or how many degrees behind your name, it is your sincere, open, genuine caring that can have the most impact on others.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  --these thoughts are adapted from my first book;                                                                                                                                       Getting People Involved in Life and Activities.      Be at peace, ​   Jeanne                                                                                                                                           *****************************************************************************************************************************                                            ​                            Im-possible There is a message that we human beings need to hear more than any other. God has said to us, “I love you. Please respond.” And then Jesus showed us how. But instead of following his example of love, we continually spend time complicating that request, twisting it around, rationalizing our non-response, defining our positions, ignoring his directions. And we spend countless hours debating the wrong thing.. If small children ever fell into this pattern, they would never get around to playing. But they don’t. They simply play...and define the rules as they go along, only when needed. Most of their time is spent being and doing in a state of simplicity and spontaneity. (Maybe this is what Christ means when he says that we need to become as little children). God doesn’t ask us to discuss rules and regulations of Christianity and to issue rubrics and proclamations of judgment. He hasn’t told us to divide up into multiple groups of people who spend immeasurable hours and years on trivial things like how we are to conduct our meetings or church services, etc. He simply asks us to love others… But in all of our relationships, we spin our wheels and take little or no consistent action in response to God’s love, being busy texting, tweeting, or lost in instagram and Facebook.  It seems that "consistent action" means consistent kindness, even a small amount of time spent with God each day, meaningful teaching about genuine love, and meeting life with gratitude. I have found that anyone of these are difficult on a regular basis, but like you, I keep trying. Who do I think I am? Just another person trying to live life in the now--the only time that we have for answering God...                                                                                 *********************************************************************************                                HOPE is...     Possibly one of the best ways to bring hope to the world is to be that hope for others. A person who is hurting can’t always ask for what is wanted despite desperately needing help. Frequently, when asked about how things are going, they will say, “Fine” or will express very little, feeling that most people are not interested or won’t be able to do what it might take to fix the situation. And often, there is no fix—there is just the pain. Sometimes the quiet observation of “You look tired today” or “Something seems to be bothering you,” followed by an offer to help can create a healing connection capable of bringing hope and peace to another. Just the realization that someone has noticed you are facing a challenge can ease the burden. There will always be times when we are not quite sure how to respond to a delicate situation without clear boundaries. And it is hard to know how far to step into someone else’s life without overwhelming or appearing nosy. But there is a way that can create a bridge. Next time, when you are wondering what to say in what might seem to be an awkward situation, you might try gently asking, “How can I help?” When asked with sincerity and sensitivity, the question can bring peace and comfort to a hurting human spirit.                                                                                                                                                                                                        -taken from my ebook, Significant Caring, Brighton Publishing May peace be with you. Care always... Jeanne                                                                                      ************************************************************************************************************************************ ​                                              Try to Top This...          Once when I had foot surgery and had to stay with my foot held up for four months, depression started to slowly seep into my body. Knowing that I am usually a positive person, I decided I had to do something radical to stop the progress. The idea I chose was to write as many things that I was grateful for or were awesome.. The list not only relieved my depression but ended up to be over one thousand items, all of them positive. Many of these beautiful and positive things are now in one of my books, Happiness:  Hidden in Plain Sight. This book has numerous ideas and ways to increase happiness in your life merely through awareness, gratitude, and living in the now. It contains many partial lists of memorable elements and experiences as in the following partial list of sensory potpourri:      ---thick milkshakes      ---being able to taste again after a cold      ---soft baby skin      ---comfortable slippers      ---angel food cake      ---songs that touch the heart      ---the aroma of a neighbor’s barbecue      ---sinking your feet in a warm, wet, sandy beach      ---snow sparkling in the sun      ---a smooth golf swing      ---a genuine hug      ---discovering a rainbow                etc., etc. It seems that if we genuinely spend the time being grateful, we will find countless more entities than we ever dreamed possible. So, if you want to be happier, start dreaming…(I would love to see what you come up with)   Peace, Jeanne PS: My book, Happiness:  Hidden in Plain Sight, is available (for 10.00 + 3.00 shipping) by writing to me at:        Jeanne Adams       100 Venloe Drive       Youngstown, Ohio 44514                                                                                                                                  ************************************************************************************************************* ​                    Discover the Good...    Before the virus, most people were having a busy schedule doing something else, so they missed much of the hidden beauty in life. Now we don't seem to know what is beautiful, relaxing, and stress free. So, here are some mostly free ideas.. Take your time to enjoy the attractiveness of a freshly manicured lawn. Take a drive in the country. Walk up a hill, visit a park or a city overlook. Just find and experience a sense of openness and space. Look for places around you that feel free. Appreciate the work that you might do at home. For example, there is beauty in clean windows, polished furniture, and folded clothes straight from the dryer. Cutting the grass, woodwork,straightening the garage or shed, and cleaning up around the outside are also positive undertakings. Surround yourself with softness. Put on something loose and silky or soft and warm. Fluff up your pillow and lay down slowly; feel your head sink into the fabric. Spend time with a sleeping infant, a kitten or puppy, or an older person who has fallen asleep in a chair. Discover the beauty in physical characteristics: the softness of the skin and delicacy of the fingers of an infant, the tiny whiskers and eyebrows on a kitten or puppy, the struggles of life etched in the face of an older person. Lastly, enjoy the beauty of gentleness, Slow down your speech and actions and try to be purposely kind to someone, especially a child. Don't worry about being appreciated. the value is in the kindness... Be good to yourself...                                                ideas taken from my book,                                                                                  Happiness: hidden in plain sight Jeanne                                                               *****************************************************************************************       Got Youth?                                    A long time ago I came across a list of how to stay young, by Sigmond Miller, from his book, Life Span Plus. I am sharing an adapted version for your reflection::                 1.  Learn a new language         2.  Learn to play music         3.  Make a new friend         4.  Improve at something         5.  Memorize a poem and share it         6.  Buy some new clothes that show the real you         7.  Entertain a lustful thought         8.  Fight for what you believe in  (be an example of what you believe in)         9. Take a course in anything you've always wanted to learn        10. Wear running shoes        11. Move smoothly, like an athlete or a dancer        12. Watch a sunrise        13. Take a long hike in the country        14. Get a massage        15. Have a laugh at least once a day        16. Make someone else laugh        17. Change your routine        18. Stretch and stay loose        19. Walk with a spring in your step        20. Have more fun        21. Turn on music and dance--or at least feel the music        22. Write poetry        23. Do the unexpected        24. Breathe deeply  (repeat frequently)        25. Continue to discover with a sense of wonder ​       Be at peace,       Jeanne                                                          ******************************************************************************************************************************************************** ​                                                         Discovery      The view from my window behind my laptop is fascinating. When I look out, I see a cluster of bush leaves that have grown to reach the branches of the old tree behind it. I almost feel as if I’m living in a treehouse, something I’ve wanted since childhood. Of course, I have lots of neighbors in the treehouse. There are chipmunks, squirrels, a variety of birds, and neighborhood cats, etc. And there are lots of movements from the floating bush. When the wind is strong, they almost try to come through the window. And when the breeze is soft, the branches do a slow dance. I am surprised to see the magnitude of the foliage because, during winter, the branches of the bush looked so dead, I thought we would have to hire someone to take it down.   So many times, when we think we have lost something, God finds something better for us. And we realize that it was just a matter of time before we see the good again. I finally have been given the treehouse that I wanted as a child--perhaps because now I can appreciate it.                                                                                       ***********************************************************************************           Freedom   I suppose many of us are not feeling the freedom that goes with this holiday. We have been confined by the time spent inside when it is beautiful outside.Some of us feel trapped by our masks and distance from one another. And we may feel that circumstances have left us with lives out of control and wondering what will happen next.. The above picture, in a sense, is one of genuine freedom. Perhaps it is part of a bucket list that the two people take seriously. Maybe they are nearing the end of a beautiful friendship and want one more of the good-times.Maybe,with great effort, they have finally made it to the beach. They seem to be seriously enjoying, despite any consequences. Don't you wonder what each one is thinking? Freedom is something that is felt within and is related to trust. So,who do you trust? Is it your own judgement and self-esteem that can handle whatever happens? Is it someone close to you? Is it God? The greater your trust,the greater your sense of freedom.Think about it...                                                     ​                                                          ************************************************************************************************************************ ​                               Procrastination                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Do you ever feel stuck?     I’m referring to the kind of “stuckiness” that keeps you in place, not knowing where to move next. There may be dozens of things that supposedly need to be done for one reason or another. You may even have a full To-Do list that is just begging for cross offs. And your mind keeps urging you to stop procrastinating. So, what's wrong? Fatigue? Depression? Laziness? Maybe even low blood sugar. Of course, nothing that a little treat and a nap wouldn't cure. Sure, it could be any one of these things and more. As a person who is a master at procrastination, I am well versed in the ways of one who is stuck. Sometimes I’ll take a break from some task and just sit down to watch a half-hour TV show before finishing. But crash, I'm asleep for two hours, and it’s too late to complete my task.   Now, you would think that someone who does this regularly would come up with a plan to avoid this situation. But no, not me. In fact, I have numerous excuses for my procrastination. I won’t go into the psychological reasons, but something is definitely causing my lack of task orientation.   I know that I am supposed to be more of a right-brain thinker (another excuse?)  Right-brain thinkers are more creative, visual, daydreaming, intuitive, with emphasis on possibilities, etc. Left-brain thinkers are more detailed, logical, mathematical, with emphasis on strategies, etc.   So, I guess if you are a right-brain person, getting stuck could be an easy habit. If you are a left-brain person, you will probably get the tasks done with more ease.   Ok, now have you ever heard of rationalization?       Be peaceful in the now…  Jeanne                                                                                                                                                                  ****************************************************************************                                                                Let it Be... I was sitting in silence,wondering what the subject of this blog might be. For some reason, the above phrase from an old Beatles song jumped into my head. It occurred to me that the concept of "let it be" could refer to much more than in the original song lyrics.    I wonder if the phrase “Let it Be” could  appropriately be used in a positive way                                            that would help simplify life. For example:                                                                 Let it be kindness when I see another person                                       Let it be the absence of worry                                       Let it be beautiful things that I see                                       Let it be that I am gentle when dealing with a difficult situation                                       Let it be that my integrity continues to be                                       Let it be mindfulness I do on a day that is chaotic                                       Let it be love that I sincerely give                                       Let it be God who I seek in my life’s journey     I could go on with many more reminders designed to deepen perspective on positive living. And probably, if you go deep inside yourself, you will discover a silent place where stress is gone. Just let it be and peace will follow. Jeanne      ***************************************************************************************************************

Hello again… Just returned to my usual schedule, so I thought I could start again on my blog. Following is an exercise I used in several of my classes and this is a way of sharing:      It is an exercise on what it might feel like to experience loss. (Author is unknown.)          Here we go…   ***First, write down 10 things that you most enjoy doing:        Now cross out anything that you couldn’t do IF:    You lost your best friend    Your salary was cut in half.   You became disabled.   You lost your spouse o significant other.   You had no transportation.   You were in a nursing home or extended care.   No one showed you any affection.   There are so many people who are experiencing many different types of losses eg. parents who have lost their children, individuals who have lost their health, those who have lost hope, safety, security, purpose, courage, or something to look forward to. The point is that feelings of loss occur much more and in many other ways than we realize.   Their experience can also be helped by us in many ways. For example, just a smile to a stranger, simply acknowledging someone’s hurt, calling to check on someone, a short note sent in the mail, including them in an activity, remembering someone, or taking time to genuinely listen. Never underestimate what you can do to serve others. Much is determined by our ability to be aware and to care… Have a wonderful week. ​Jeanne ​                        _______________________________________________________________________ ​                                   Just a note:  I will be busy for the next few weeks, so there will not be blogs. ​                           I wish everyone a blessed Christmas and happy holiday...                                                                   ***************************************************

I Want to Get Off...       10/25/19 ​      Have you ever watched an animal (e.g., dog or cat), sitting and just looking at the world around them? Have you noticed a bird simply sitting on a branch just observing life? Do you ever wonder what they are thinking? Even animals seem to take time to rest and reflect.     Sometimes we find ourselves lost in an almost constant state of distraction. We go from being distracted by noise to distraction from over stimulation, or agitation from pain and fatigue. Demands on our time and multiple social expectations can lead to a robot-like existence. When this continues on a daily basis without relief, we can be left with feelings of being overwhelmed, embattled, and confused about life in general. Have you ever felt this way? Well, it seems like this might be a good time to stop the thrill ride and begin to treat the dizziness and confusion. This might be the time to look at life from a new perspective—a perspective of personal peace and simplicity. Mindfulness really does work. The short but regular time spent in silence and alone can help you look at life from a new viewpoint. It can simplify what seems overwhelmingly difficult and create a new you--someone who can answer daily demands with calmness and confidence. Just remember that now is the only real time. The past is just a memory and the future is in our imagination. Peace, Jeanne      Questions, comments, suggestions? I'd love to hear from you, especially if you have any blog subjects that you might like.      You can e-mail me at JPwriters@aol.com.                              *********************************************************************************** ​    10/20/19   Recently a lot has been said about clutter and its effect on those who are unable to control it. Sitting here (in the moment), I am aware of how easy it is to produce clutter without seeing it  until it begins to overwhelm. As I look around my office, there are piles (neat piles) but so many that I don’t know what specifically is in them. In fact, it almost looks like a wanna-be professional hoarder. (I wonder what happened to my seeking simplicity and mindfulness). Yes, my piles seem to have purpose. But do my many projects and pending works justify this? It looks like an office of someone who may live in the moment, but is terribly disorganized in the moment. It is an affront to my integrity.    So, what can I do to fix the situation? Well, I could diminish the piles by putting them all into one pile and create a pretend organized environment. Or I could stuff them all into bulging office files and never find them again. I could do mini fixes like stop paying bills, stop writing and submitting manuscripts, and take the time to finally put my recipe book together. Not gonna happen…all     There are two days free, today and tomorrow, that have no commitments other than college football. Should I spend my time on Facebook and Pinterest or become the organized person I wish I were by clearing off some of the noncritical piles?     Ok, help me, what  do you think?… ​                            ************************************************************************ ​                                                        What are you looking for? ​In the moment I am thinking about the concept of happiness, peace of mind, and what really works to achieve them. Awhile back there was some research on what is absolutely necessary for peace of mind (happiness). Following is my adaptation of the factors that had the greatest number: 1.  Shun suspicion and resentment. Keeping a grudge has been found to pull down happiness levels an average of 50 percent. ​2. Live in the present. Most unhappiness comes from an unwholesome preoccupation with the mistakes and failures of the past. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. It is as vital to your happiness as forgiving others. 3.   Don't waste time and energy fighting conditions you can't change There is little you can do to heal the incurable disease of a loved one, or change the personality of those with whom you live. So stop hitting your head against the wall. 4.  When you find yourself in a state of emotional stress, reach out to others instead of retreating within and building a prison of loneliness. 5. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues of love, humor, thrift and church attendance, etc.  6.  Stop expecting  too much of yourself. When there is too wide a gap between the standards you set for yourself and actual achievement, Unhappiness is inevitable. If you can't improve the  performance, try lowering the demands instead. 7.  ​ Self-centered materialistic people score lowest on the Duke University tests for measuring happiness. While those are are high in altruism and wholesome religious attitudes generally come out with the top happiness ratings.                                                                                 Author unknown (There is much more about happiness in my book, HAPPINESS--Hidden in Plain Sight. It can be purchased through my website here.) As always, I wish you peace... Jeanne                                      ********************************************************************** ​                  Don’t you wish you could slow down ​                               the pace of life? It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation, but it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace.. Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up. Whatever the reason, it is worth it to try—in a simple way. Give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace with no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life, and living will have more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…                                              Now is the Time          I’ve often thought that most of us live life backwards. It seems that we tend to place all the important things on the back burner and to spend copious amounts of time on non-essentials, especially early in life. We allow negative things from the past and fearful imaginations of our future to control the time we have now—the only real time there is. I wonder what would happen if we turned things around and spent our energy, thoughts, and awareness on the important things now.  Someday soon I would like to be able to slow down enough to experience all and only the good things that happen in the moment. I will take time to be aware of what is going on around me---to finally realize that this time and only this time is life. Now is really the time to be grateful, to listen, to try to understand, and to love. Now is the time to be aware, to look at beauty, to learn, to be kind. Right now someone needs you. Right now there is pain in someone’s eyes. Right now someone needs to hear that they are loved.  What would happen if instead of continuing to live lives of quiet desperation, we listened in silence to the soft voice of God within us? Would we possibly then be able to see the God within each other? Choice…what a wonderful gift.                                                                                                                                                  ********************************************************************************* ​ A Quick Perspective on Life    In the span of a lifetime, we learn many useful insights that can help create a perspective on life.           For example, Life is always and only right here, right now, this moment... Think about it. The past is just a memory and the future is in    our imagination. However, if that promotion brings your 15 minutes of fame, you may discover that it is superficial. And we know that Publishers Clearing House will probably never visit... but God is always with us. It can take awhile for some people to realize that a great amount of happiness comes from the ability to be positive and aware of goodness. Beauty is all around us, but some people spend their lives fixated on trash. Few are aware that negative thinking only makes pain worse. One of the hardest thoughts to assimilate for some is that we are all children of God --- and the family needs you. As the world seems to decay around us, and at times the skies are an endless gray with only patches of blue, we try to look for good news. But the overwhelming negative conditions seem to be blocking our search. So, we are stuck with basically two choices. We can sink to new levels of low morality, lack of integrity, greed, disrespect of others, and negativity, or we can seek out what is good, kind, trustworthy,and naturally beautiful---and become the good person we are hoping to meet. It's your choice...do you see that patch of blue? One last insight:    Genuine love is the immediate and final answer to everything...     ​              ***************************************** ​   How to give yourself a hug…    ---put your “To Do” list on hold temporarily and simply       “be”  ---spend time around those you love without any                electronic devices             ---make a steaming cup of hot tea or cocoa ​            ---wrap up in a throw blanket and engage in a good book             ---sink into in a warm bubble bath             ---allow yourself time for a nap             ---buy fresh flowers just for you             ---enjoy a special ice cream treat             ---relax with your favorite CD             ---buy an impulsive inexpensive gift             ---snuggle with a pet             ---put on comfortable, loose fitting clothes             ---if available, relax in a hot tub             ---feel the freshness of clean sheets and a warm blanket             ---take time to make a special breakfast and enjoy             ---sit back in a recliner chair and browse through a favorite magazine             ---give yourself do not disturb time             ---put your right hand on your left shoulder,                 your left hand on your right shoulder,                 and remind yourself that you are worth it…                                             ******************************************************* ​  It’s nice outside. Sunny and warm. The trees are quivering in the breeze and the birds are racing across my view. I finally have quiet and my own time. I find that this is essential to having a spiritual life that is meaningful to me. There is so much to see when looking out a window into nature, and I am grateful to have a view like this. Focusing on nature has been shown to almost automatically create a relaxed feeling and frame of mind.   Of course, focusing, in our chaotic and unsure world, is difficult for all of us. It seems that we can’t get over the rushed schedule that we have made for ourselves. Always adding another activity appointment, agreeing to another request, learning the rules and language of yet another sport, preparing for a too soon family invitation, etc. We seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to catch up with ourselves. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if all of us took just ten minutes every day to listen to silence through meditation and mindfulness. Would we eventually slow down the rest of the day? Would we more likely keep what is really important to us on our minds? Would we find it easier to be kind? There is so much that silence can teach us. Try listening to the quiet and if you hear God whispering, listen to the message. It is probably in the quote by Dr. Jarold Jampolsky, Teach only love. The only time is now…                        ******************************************************************************** ​.  Life is full of minute-by-minute choices. Every choice that we make determines not only how we are changed, but also how the world around us is changed. We can choose to reach out to our environment with a sense of curiosity, wonder, respect and appreciation. As a result, our lives can be filled with enjoyment, playfulness, and peace of mind. It's largely a question of attitude and personal actions.   It has to do with who we are. If we see a world of possibilities, it is because we look around us with a positive outlook on life. If we see a world that is dangerous and threatening, we can become someone who is fearful. Every thing we do, every choice we make, changes the world. By choosing to be happy with determination and conviction, we start a process of positive thinking that allows love to come in to our lives--and into the world. Be at peace within... ​ *******************************************        It seems that wisdom is actually hard to discover or obtain. Books will help, but only to a point. Wisdom seems to come with steady observance without prejudice and much reflection on your own and others' behavior. The more time I spend in the chaotic world of human interactions, the more I realize how often we simply get it all wrong. Some of the things I have come to know are so opposite what we generally see as truth. For example, along with others I have discovered.....                    ---that the more we hurt, the more self-absorbed we become.                    ---that the ability to put things into perspective is critical to dealing with stress, pressure, chaos, disappointments, twists and turns in relationships, and general upsetting occurrences in life.....and that the person with the most personal power is the one who has this ability—to put things into perspective.            ---that people who choose to consistently function at the user relationship level are left with families and friendships that are dysfunctional, superficial, and lacking in trust and love.                  ---that the strongest person is the one who refuses to be pulled down to the level of behavior that includes manipulation, gossip, criticism, and put downs of others.               ---that the most mature person has no need to be aligned with whoever is perceived to have the most power, the most popularity, or the most attention at the moment.             ---that cleverness is not nearly as attractive as compassion or kindness.                   ---and I now know that the more we can quiet our minds, the more we are able to let peace come into our lives.                                                                                                           **************************************************************************     Although there are many more Life Enrichment Skills like humor & playfulness, spontaneity, enthusiasm, etc.,I am going to end this monologue with the skill of Compassion. ​ This is one of the most important yet difficult skills to master because it takes awareness, caring, respect for an individual, and empathy to even start. Compassion not only has sympathetic feelings for another hurting person, but takes a major step forward that brings humanity to a new level. Compassion makes an attempt to help a suffering situation. And it is the action of reaching out to another that sets it apart from just feeling sorry for another in pain or discomfort.  Probably the best known story that demonstrates compassion is the story of the good Samaritan. It can be found in the New Testament and is the story about the Samaritan who stops to help a stranger who was beaten by robbers. He took the man to a place where he could be cared for and paid for the man's care, leaving extra money for further needs.This occurred after several people had gone by, saw the victim of the robbery on the ground but walked on, doing nothing to help. It is difficult to reach out to someone in need. It can make us vulnerable to unknown circumstances and reactions. But no matter what religion we follow, reaching out to anyone suffering is usually one of the basic behaviors expected of all who are sincerely living our faith...even just a smile or statement of caring. Compassion includes elements of gentleness and respect for all who are in need. So, if you see someone who has mastered the skill of Compassion, it will be one of the most beautiful scenes you will ever remember.   Peace... Jeanne                                                   ************************************************************ ​     Ok, just a couple more Life Enrichment Skills. This one is Curiosity.  ​Do you remember as a child, being curious about everything? You would pick up a leaf or find a toad, lay down on the grass and wonder about the clouds.You might have wondered about the stars and where you came from.Children have a delightful sense of curiosity. They are awed by the world around them and search for explanations. In a recent book, I have over 500 ideas of positive things that seem to be lost as we grow up.I feel that they are hidden in plain sight, but we don't see many of them.Curiosity as an adult allows you search for the beauty in life. I suggest that the best place to start to become curious again is in nature.There are endless opportunities to help you have wonderful experiences. And it has been proven that being in nature enhances relaxation. I hope you will try to develop a sense of curiosity. It is a way of becoming alive again as most of us are living by rote. Have you wondered about any clouds recently?                             ***************************************************************** ​    One of the great Life Enrichment Skills is Creativity. (I can hear you say, "but I'm not creative.") You can be and it will open up a freedom that you may never knew existed. The difficulty with creativity is the need at the start to be relaxed and not feel you have to be in control. It is also necessary to not worry about being judged. You see, creativity involves use of the right side of the brain--the non-controlling side.To be creative, you need to simply let go of having to control everything, be open to new things, and see possibilities, etc.  Do you remember having a hobby or a favorite activity as a child? I'll bet that might have given you a sense of freedom. Do you ever get so lost in an enjoyable interest that you lose track of time? This is called "flow" and is in the realm of creativity.It is healthy, and has the potential for a creative experience.There was an art therapist I knew who answered the statement, "I can't draw" by saying, "just make a mark." This would usually help to start the creative juices flowing. With a daily life that is so regimented yet chaotic, it is definitely worth it to do something creative as part of your life..There are so many possibilities to be creative. Just make a mark... ​Jeanne         ​                                    **************************************************** One ​Life Enrichment Skill that you might not imagine is simple Awareness. This is the ability to notice things outside of yourself. Ironically we have become a society that has made it much more difficult to be aware. The almost constant absorption in digital communication has left us with crooked posture, sore necks, and still another addiction. Awareness isn't always a skill that we think of as wonderful to possess. Although it opens us up to some of the beauty and goodness in life, it also allows an openness to things like the needs of others and the pain and poverty of life. And once awareness of negativity and suffering becomes known, there is the problem of deciding how to respond. This can include the response to a friend who is sick and would benefit from a note or card, deciding to volunteer where there is a real need, actively trying to change laws that are insufficient or wrong, offering random acts of kindness, etc. Awareness puts us in the position of being open to learning new things. It helps to take us above the level of user relationships. Of course it is much easier to keep our heads in the sand (or in our phones), but awareness can be the first step to a genuine spiritual and caring life, and in the end this is what matters...      Jeanne                                    ******************************************************* ​         Another Life Enrichment Skill is the ability to enjoy yourself. But wait, when was the last time you really enjoyed yourself? For some people it has been a very long time... I think very few people know how to enjoy the goodness that life has to offer. Enjoyment can come from many different avenues.You can enjoy food, art, sports, nature experiences, recognition at work, finishing a difficult task, playing with pets,driving a new car for the first time, receiving a present, watching something beautiful, listening to meaningful music, etc. These are just a few examples. I'm sure you have observed that most people ( especially while on vacation or at an event) try to take something home with them by repeatedly using whatever camera is available to remember the experience. The problem is that they miss the experience. So, many of the good feelings that might have gone with actually experiencing the situation are lost. And many times enjoyment is lost. This is where mindfulness might help.because to live in the moment and silence the noise in you head, opens yourself up to what you are experiencing. After all, now is life; now is the only time we have to live. The past is just memories and the future is expectations. I hope you will allow yourself to be aware of each moment and to feel good about  something. Now is the only real time that you have.Enjoy yourself...   Jeanne ​                            ********************************************************** ​Ok, The next Life Enrichment Skill is Appreciation. This is what allows us to to be moved by beauty or to become enthusiastic about another persons' competence, (ie. usually a sports figure, etc.).Other examples are our appreciation of Grandmas' apple pie, the best coffee we have ever tasted, or the bigger than normal tip we received. In many ways appreciation  precedes gratitude. After all, it is hard to be grateful for something we don't appreciate. Appreciation opens the door to all the good things in life. Look at the above picture. It can be seen as just a picture of water or as a waterfall that gently flows in a peaceful way. It's obvious that to appreciate the details of a nature scene is to have more enjoyment. Often when someone really appreciates a particular thing, they become expert hobbyists in the field. For example, someones' appreciation of wine can lead to them becoming a wine connoisseur. ​ It seems that without the ability to appreciate life we are left with a life of rote and boredom. So, can you slow down and take the time to develop the art and skill of appreciation? There is so much beauty out there... Wishing you a peaceful week. ​Jeanne                                ******************************************************************* ​    Life Enrichment Skills ---what really add quality to our lives. The second one in my series is a sense of Wonder. Do you remember when you were young and the whole day was filled with amazing surprises that sparked your curiosity more? A sense of wonder is the ability to say "Oh, Wow!" at life, to be actively aware of beauty, talent, goodness, etc. It fills us with positive energy and makes the world brighter. And it increases our ability to appreciate the gifts that we have been given. We can wonder at something or about something. For example, we can wonder at the presence of a newborn infant or wonder about how decorative cakes are made. But when we talk about a sense of wonder we usually mean to wonder at something wonderful.  This is one of those skills that children have naturally, but as we grow up we seem to lose. One time I was with a client sitting by a stream when three Canada geese came down and did a simultaneous perfect landing on the water. My spontaneous response was, "Oh wow! did you see that?" But from her perspective, it was just another mundane situation. Lack of a sense of wonder can occur because of many things like depression, grief, self-absorption, loss, etc. But it can be renewed. Suggestions for renewing a sense of wonder:  Spend more time in nature; be aware of sights and sounds; allow yourself to be silent; consider the importance of living in the now as much as possible since now is the only time we really have; begin to be aware and appreciate small experiences that have been taken for granted. Go in peace... ​                                                *********************************************       6/29/19 Okay, I don't have anything material to pass out, but I have "something much more valuable"... Life Enrichment​ skills and gifts are the real things that help make us happier individuals. There is no cost, no price--they are free. However, we seem to have lost many of them along the way. We tend to have been sidetracked by society.    What I would like to do is to increase awareness of what some of the Life Enrichment Skills are so you can practice (maybe again).There are approximately 15 to 20 of them. The next several blogs will be my meager thoughts--in the moment, on a variety of Life Enrichment skills that add genuine value to our lives.    The first life enrichment skill is Gratitude. This is the ability, no matter what our situation is, to be grateful for what we have been given. Some of the happiest people in the world have very few material items.  In reality, material goods are not necessary for happiness. Many of us have been given the wrong message that the more we have the more successful we are, and if we can only acquire more we will obtain peace of mind. With this wrong message can come a sense of entitlement, and a belief that others do not deserve what we should be entitled to.       Gratitude helps us realize that all though all that we have may be more or less than what others have, we are gifted with numerous things to be grateful for. Gratitude can change our attitude and give us satisfaction and acceptance.It takes us off our podium and places us firmly on the ground with all of our other brothers and sisters. So, what are you grateful for?  When was the last time you said "thank you" and sincerely meant it? Peace be with you... ​Jeanne                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        **************************                                                                                                                                                                                            6/22/19                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hi there...  You may be aware that there are four basic ethical principles that we as human beings need to follow or at least hold true.They are the ethical principles that are taught in all healthcare professions. ​(Too bad they are not consistently taught in other professions such as business and politics.) I can't help but wonder what would happen if each of us chose our behavior with these in mind...                  First--Do no harm               Make things better               Respect others               Be fair               Be honest  Ok, who's the smart one that noticed there are five listed? And there is even one more ethical principle that Jesus gives us: Be loving to all. When I wrote this last sentence I was so tempted to put it in the past tense, eg..Jesus gave us...But I think we tend to then use his teaching as just something in the past rather than today, and today is the only time we have to love others... Be at peace...    Jeanne ​                                                ********************************************************* ​It’s one of those days that is almost summer but not quite. It’s even better. The sky is blue and the trees become a sparkle field when I look up through them. The temperature is between 60/70. This is my favorite kind of day—the type where the weather allows no reason for negative thinking. Here and now I feel good, positive, and kind. It is a day—like any other day really, where the environment does its’ best to help with happiness.    It is interesting how once I am in a positive mood it leads to awareness of other positives. I am more aware and appreciative of the bluebird I saw on the fence yesterday or the catbird meowing outside my office window. I am glad to get a magazine in the mail. It will be added to my reading list tonight (one of my favorite parts of the day.) With my senses on alert for some of the good things in life I feel like I can be my best in whatever situation occurs. Relaxation causes this but mindfulness and meditation also can. They all have the ability to put me in the now-- the true reality. I wonder why I need things outside myself to be prompts for being my best. Couldn’t I just be reminded that learning to be my best, along with learning to love are the two main goals in life. Sounds easy but is very difficult. If only it could go on regularly, consistently, without over thinking. If only it would always be easy to feel positive. If only I would spend more time with the silence that is peace…                                              ************************************************************ ​ My new senior bucket list... Being of the age where I am bombarded with wisdom, I’ve discovered that I need to adjust my lifetime bucket list because my body is not being cooperative. So, the following are what I hope to do before I die.   --Finish my racy novel and send it to Harlequin. --Watch the Cleveland Browns play in the Super Bowl. --Review my vacation pictures of the top of Mt. Everest. --Re-gift my husband. --Stay up once a week after 9:00 pm. --Get my scooter detailed. --Go on a zip line ride through virtual reality. --Finally earn the medical degree I have been seeking--one body part at a time. --Use my lifetime collection of fruit cakes for Christmas gifts. --Get rid of all Christmas wrapped boxes from 1960. --Definitely finish the wine left over from my sister’s wedding in 1954. --For the first time, treat my family to dinner on my good china. Wish me luck… ​ **********************************************             The Present of Your Life ​ ​Present is a rich word in two senses. It means gift and it means now. That describes your life too. It is a gift, and it is happening now. As you read these words, you are living your life. Your life isn’t something that’s going to happen once you’ve rehearsed the right lines or saved up enough money or found the right spouse or landed the perfect job or moved to the perfect place, etc. Your life is happening every moment and you can’t escape or postpone it. What you’re doing now is spending a small portion of your life reading this. You are using part of that gift that is your life. And you need to use that gift as well and as wisely as you know how with a sense of responsibility, truthfulness, wisdom,and compassion.   The following truths or facts of life are starting points from which new growth and happiness can occur:             -----    No one can bring your life to you             -----   No matter what you do in life, someone important  to you isn’t going                           to like it at times.            -----    Though it’s painful, rejection won’t kill you---  and it may even                       lead to growth.            -----      Every choice means giving up something else.           -----      Some people are not capable of giving you what you  want from them.             -----     The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.           -----     Life is a continuous range of possibilities, not  an on/off switch.           -----     Some problems cannot be solved, but you can make  peace with them.                                                             adapted from  On a Clear Day You                                                                                        Can See Yourself   by                                                                                      Dr. Sonya Friedman ​                                   **************************************************    ​ ​5/11/19 Many of us are aware of the Serenity Prayer, but most have only  heard the first half of the prayer. I feel the second half is equally as useful so I want to share the the whole version with you:  God, grant me the serenity to accept the things                                       I cannot change, the courage to                                    change the  things I can,                            and the wisdom to know the difference.                                Grant me patience with the changes that take time,                                   an appreciation for all that I have,                                      a tolerance of those with                             different struggles, and the strength to get up                                     and try again one day at a time.                                 ​                                            ************************************************ 5/3/19 ​                             Necessary “How To” skills you never learned in school…    A while back I had written a blog on critical “how to” skills you never learned in school. By request, I have added some additional necessary skills that go with the challenges of    adulthood. ​              See if you agree…               ---How to handle suffering in your life             ---How to keep perspective when things seem overwhelming             ---seeing beyond political rhetoric and commercial manipulation             ---learn to be at peace with yourself             ---How to prioritize your needs so that effort is spent on the                 most important             ---listening to advice from an older person (who may know what is really                  important)             ---How to raise children in a constantly changing society             ---going beyond tolerance to seeing the dignity of each individual             ---learning to focus on all that is good and let go of what drags you down             ---How to live in the now with awareness and without judgment             ---How to gradually reduce your ego and get out of yourself                           ---realizing that love is a verb…                     Someone once said that life is not a dress rehearsal.                               Take time to go in peace…                                            ********************************************************** ​Happy​ Easter to all Christians out there. Easter and Holy Week are the basis of our religious and life beliefs. But because of my own difficulty in living the life of a Christian I wonder, sometimes, if we really know what we should be doing in order to genuinely call ourselves Christians. So, here are some things that I believe illustrate what  are important if we want to actually claim the title:       It seems to me that you'll know you're a Christian when---               ---You see everyone as your neighbor.          ---You take your faith to work (and wherever you are)                       ---"Oh my God" is more than an exclamation of surprise. ---Prayer becomes a daily conversation with God. ---The light shinning in the darkness is you reflecting God's love. ---Lifting up others becomes a daily exercise. ---Your preaching is "wordless" ---"Come follow me" takes you in a different direction than the crowd. ---Compassion is actively lived. ---Your car knows the way to Church as much as to Walmart. ---Choosing forgiveness is more important than being righteous. ---Learning to love is your main goal in life. ---Jesus Christ is by far the biggest hero you know. ---Someone' s need is more important than your want. ---You accept people where they are. ---You take loving action toward anyone in need. ---etc. Now the hard part is being consistent (ie. faithful)... ****************************** 4/12/19 ​Jumping Over Quicksand ​ Seldom do we know when life is about to throw us yet another challenge. It creeps up and strikes so quickly that we only have time for the usual defensive rote reaction to a stressful situation. This is the reaction that slams the door on any pretense of gaining understanding or perspective on the situation. One of the most difficult things in the world is to be at peace with oneself on a daily basis, and especially when we find ourselves in one of these situations. To do this takes a lot of letting go and ego eliminating, like letting go of control and getting rid of self-absorption. It’s amazing to realize the extent to which our egos have power over our lives.  Much of our time is spent in fear because of it. The ego seems to keep us in a constant state of defensiveness, i.e., protection of our self-esteem, the need for control, trying to justify our very existence. If only we could instantly know and believe how unique and worthwhile we are. To know what it means to be a child of the God who gives unconditional love. To understand that rules, regulations, and threats mostly come from other human beings who likely are playing the control/power game.  But no matter what condition we find ourselves in, God’s call is always to learn to love...         ++++++++++++++++++++++++ 3/19 It’s snowing again, a gentle but steady snow. It’s the kind that makes you want to go into hibernation and slow down the pace of life. It seems that this would be a good time for mindfulness and meditation. When I say this it probably sounds like more work to some of you. I wonder how many approach anything new to them as an obstacle to be overcome. But mindfulness and/or meditation are designed to take away stress and to create personal peace.. Some people are afraid to let go and to just be. Some feel that if they stop accumulating pockets of stressful activities, they may realize how pointless these are. Other individuals are afraid to be alone even for a few minutes. And some seem to be misguided by our social network and have priorities mixed up. Whatever the reason, it probably is worth it to try—in a simple way. Aim to give yourself only five minutes each day to just sit in a state of calm and peace. Give no thought to problems, events, relationships, meetings or appointments. Don’t plan dinner or the weekend... Get the point? If doing this occurs on a regular basis it is very possible that you will become closer to the really important things in life and living has more meaning. It may even bring you closer to God…

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In the Moment...

2/10/19 ​ Hello again... ​I'm one of those people who rarely get frustrated and feel irritable about something negative in my life such as breaking something or making a mess and having to clean it up. I usually just go ahead and fix the situation. But today, when I came on line to copy a blog that I had just written yesterday, I found it gone, floating somewhere in space, and I was left frustrated by what happened. But being the practical human that I am, I finally realized that what must have happened is that I forgot to post it. Arrrgh!!!... ​So, what am I supposed to learn from this?  ​Well, I guess my words are not as important as they might seem, and the world will certainly continue on without them. Maybe losing something is a way of taking the ego down a notch by pointing out what is not really important. So life goes on one moment at a time and living in the moment gives a chance to decide how to respond to frustrating situations, such as loss of our work. Every minute we have a choice...